What is happening to our girls?

Well I doubt anyone works 23.5 hours a day only giving you 30 minutes for sleeping and cleaning and this is my point, there is always time for the things that are important, but it is up to each of us to decide what things are important.


My dad has a saying I love: "If you didn't have time to do it right the first time, what makes you think your gonna have time to do it right later?"


Let's offer a better example that better shows what is happening to our girls:

Your house develops a tiny leak in the roof.

You are busy and don't have much money so you put off fixing the leak. As time goes by the leak slowly gets worse but is not creating any real visible problem to your daily life, the stain is in an unused section of the house and you have more important things to worry about. The leak starts getting very bad and your using pans to catch water during rainy days but again, you know there is a problem but other things are more important right now, you will get to it one day......

Then the neglected roof with it's rotten wood collapses into the home, taking with it many other items that were previously okay, maybe there is even a loved one who get's harmed by the falling roof.

While this is bad the next thing that happens is the insurance company inspects the damage and denies the claim because the owner ignored the leak problem that resulted in the damage.


Now your responsible for a mortgage payment on a home you can't live in and cannot afford to fix, you don't have the money to get an appartment and you have to impose on a friend or family member so your kids can have a dry place to sleep.


One thing leads to another and if were too busy to fix our problem with our girls now, when will we have the time and how much worse will it get before we get around to it?

 

What is it you propose to fix our "girl problem", TJ?


We could always bring the chastity belt back and give men the keys...

 

1,500 posts of garbage like this is why nobody takes you seriously Wez.

 

One thing I've noticed in my area is that kids don't have to work part-time jobs anymore. Many of their parents are divorced and it seems to me that mommy and daddy are so busy playing "I feel guilty for breaking up our family, so let me make it up to you by buying you whatever you want" that the kids have all the luxeries without doing any work.

At the parking lot of the school is you can definitely see the distinguishing line between the teacher's vehicles and the student's - the students are the ones driving brand spanking new cars and trucks. I don't know about you, but I'm not aware of any after school job that allows a 16 year old boy to afford a $35,000 truck.

Since mom and dad are working so hard to foot the bill for their precious babies, the babies are feeling ignored. They don't have jobs to keep them preoccupied and they don't have to put any effort into their school work because if they aren't doing well it's the teacher's fault, not theirs. The parents chew out the faculty for their kid's poor grades, not the kids.

So these kids have nothing better to do with their time than drive around, discover drugs and alcohol, play video games, meet predators online, bully each other and screw.

If I could change anything, it would be for society to impress personal responsibility and accountability upon its citizens again.

 

Now that was a mouthful.

I agree, responsibility and accountability need to be reinstated into all people's lives, now the next question, a much more difficult question this time:

How do we make that happen?

 

Well said Ali... I think you hit the nail on the head.


Kinda like the government is now telling people, "it's not your fault you spent more than you will make in 10 lifetimes, here, let me help you with your mortgage."...


It pisses me off to no end to know I scrimped and saved and lived in a mobile home within my means to do this only to have someone take my money and give it to irresponsible idiots.


Coddling morons will get us nowhere but where we are.

 

That IS a difficult question.

I believe that kids should receive an open and honest education about sex. One thing we need to realize is there are very few kids over the age of 11-12 years old in this country who don't have a basic understanding of sex and haven't been taught that using a condom is one way to help prevent unwanted pregnancies and std's. They know this and while condoms are readily available at everyplace from the local drug store to Wal-Mart, they CHOOSE not to use them. They CHOOSE to have unprotected sex.

Why? When preventative resources are so readily available, why do they avoid them? That's what I'd like to know. What is making these kids think that they are above the basic laws of biology and physiology?

 

It all goes back to the whole "it can't happen to me" mentality that comes from a lack of kids today having to be personally responsible for their actions...

It comes from a generation of parents that would rather drug their kids into being good kids instead of actually parenting them. I know some kids genuinely need medication, but I think they are grossly over prescribed and over relied on.

It comes from the deterioration of the moral fiber like timejoke talks about. Without a constant and absolute difference between right and wrong being taught to our kids, they have no guide to judge their decisions by.

Parents have to step up and start being parents, not BFF's.

 

I agree with most of this and I will add that although condoms are available at drug stores and discount stores and such, most teens are still too embarrassed to buy them.

I remember when I was in high school, I really didn't care what the clerk thought, I would buy anything. I had no problem running into the store and picking up femanin products for my sister, let alone condoms. I used to have all kinds of guys in my high school wanting me to go into stores to buy the condoms for them.

When I talk to teens about this now, I tell them that if they are embarassed to buy condoms because of the direct contact with the clerk, that they should try to use the "self checkout" at stores like Wal-Mart that have this feature. Most of them are like, "Hey, I never thought of that".

 

Hi, dear guys, it's really my first time to post on a foreign forum!
i am so excited. Anyway, i like to air my views here, and i need ur support!Thanks!
As you've talked the shouldn't-have-happened things to girls nowadays, i'd like to share with u my opinions. i am now in china, which is said to be a rather traditional country, and i can also see the same happenings here! Girls have changed!
i am also confused! what's appalling is that some girls take it funny to go to the hospital to get abortion! OMG!

 

Do you mean, almost like it's a badge of honor or cool thing to do?

If so, that's wrong.

 

Do you think its because of western ideas that seeped into China? Or do they just have the same problems?

PS: Nice to have you aboard.

 

First of all.. welcome Wendy Great to have you here..


I'm thinking not snaf.. China has been aborting for a long time.. Population control. Mainly females, many after birth.. They do have 1/4 of the entire human race in their borders..

 

As for the western ideas, imo, it only takes a small part.
if u r patient, i'd like to give the possible reasons for the happenings in china.
1) with the rapid development of society(mostly econimically and materially), children can get better nutrition, including abundant milk, meat, beef and ect, which quickens the maturity of the yongsters;
2) with the increasing of literacy covery, people's mind are opened, to a degree much larger than before. They don't think having sex is an ashamed skeleton in the cupboard, instead, they just do it as what they are expecting.
3) i mean many girls take it for fun to go to the hospital to have abortion(most of them are only high schools and colleges), just because they think it safe and not painful to have abortion. in china, wherever you go, u can just huge ads boards, which says"in the time a sweet dream, u can just finish the process of pain-free abortion"
ps: Thanks for ur kind welcoming words!

 

Do they still have quota's for how many kids people can legally have, Wendy?


I was also wondering, are you originally from another country? And how old you were.. Only if you feel comfortable answering of course.

 

I get to correct some your words. "china has been aborting for f long time many after birth". it is not true.
Due to the large population, government in china bagan to enforce the birth control or family plan in late 1970s.But they didn't ask females to get abortion after they have already a baby in their womb. However, they ask them to take various preliminary measures to avoid being pregnant, measures taken both by husband and wife.
I know some westerners are discussing the lawfullness of abortion, it is also popular in china.
In this case, i will tell sth concerned with family pattern transformations in china. after the popularity of dink family, dingo family also is takeing the upper hand. what is dingo family: husband + wife ? pets (mostly dogs). That's to say, more and more people would choose not to have kids.

 

Thanks for clearing that up.. I remember hearing horror stories when I was younger, like in the 1970's, that female babies were killed sometimes because they were unwanted and the government really didn't stop it..

 

yes, we have quota. Still one couple one kid. However, with the descrease of birth rate, government have additional policies for couple who prefer more kids. Eg, couples both of who have got the master's degree or higher. or couples whose kid has some physical incurable problems; or couples whose have lost their kid by various accidents and ect.

Response to your wondering: i am very glad and comfortable to answer u: i am a chinese, i am a 29 yo female.

 

Nice to meet you.. I'm a 39 year old man and Live in Minnesota, USA.. I love that you're from China and look forward to learning from each other.. So glad you found the site..


That's what I thought.. Kinda sad, but I understand about the quota.. Over a billion people is hard to take care of.. Your country is doing well economically.. You own us here in the United States..

Do you speak English or use a translator program?

 

yes, it did happen in old china! and it still happens in some romote rural china, althoug it is rare!
Because of the deep-rooted feudal cultural concepts, people regard only males the backbone of the whole family, and can continue the generations. Females are consider to be unworthy, because they'd leave their home and are marred to anther family,in this way, parents think they've spend much fortune on raising their daughter for another family. Haha, that is not the case now.