Verbal masturbation.. wez style..

How do you get your hand hot enough to iron clothes?

 

Cut it off with a butter knife and microwaved it on high for 10 minutes..

 

Vigorous masturbation.

 

After vigorous masturbation the last thing I wanna do is iron clothes....

 

What a coinkidink.. I can assist with the former and then you can watch me do the latter whilst you bask in a warm bath scented with rose petals.


Call me.. I got $5 burning a hole in my pocket..

 

But is your hand hot enough to iron them if you wanted to?

 

Hmmmm....I don't know...lemme check. **** my hands are covered in...errr....starch.

 

Are you sure that's starch? Here, let me taste them for you...





I only posted that cause my Chinese take out fortune cookie just told me to.. Well that, and I'm a pervert..


Now is the best time for you to be spontaneous. Serendipity! ~ wez's fortune



mmmmmm.. Serendipidy!

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely. ~ commiepedia


hahahaha

 

Yesterday, I had lunch at the Gut-bomb Panda, better known as Hoo Flung Doo's House of Flying Dookie.

I cracked open my fortune cookie after the meal. It read:

GOOD LUCK IS COMING YOUR WAY.

 

...in bed.

 

Hmm... I'll go check.

 

Haven't you ever heard that when you read your fortune from a fortune cookie, you add the words "in bed" to the end?
.
.
.

 

I think he's referring to the fact that he's not alone

 

Yes!

And yes!

 

Got it. A little slow this morning.

 

I had Thai for lunch...I got a fortune cookie that said:

You will soon have more adventure in your life. heehee

 

It's late at night when I am at my dullest.

 

You're going to start a Dungeons and Dragons campaign?

Count me in and color me bad!

 

I'll be needing a consultant for authenticity. You can be my right hand *devilish grin*.

 

I'd rather just play... ok! I mean, Sylvanius Ableblade the Fighter / Mage / Thief has some heroines to woo and gold to snatch... or the other way around.