Verbal masturbation.. wez style..

2 tests in the last week, 2 A's.. yay me

 

I just got this in an email from one of my profs...

I choose!! I'm gone like the wind next year for 6 weeks! Yay the fukk me!

 

I am the best ironer of clothes on Earth.. yay me

 

I don't have Tuberculosis! yay me

 

I call bullsh!t!!! You should see the crease I can put in a pair of slacks!

You could cut a rump roast with my crease.

 

I wasn't praying for you.

 

Men ironing? *sighs with delight*

 

That is something domestic that the Corp didn't instill in me. It came from my mother, because she was an ironing fury!

 

I used to iron all of my own clothes. Especially uniforms.

 

I was a maid in university. Ironing and shlepping laundry at a hotel. I don't iron if at all humanly possible. The smell of ironing reminds me of my Mom though....and the Young and the Restless.

 

I gave my first IM shot and IV push on a real person today! yay me..

 

Dude.. I owned a dry cleaners for 11 years and pressed clothes all day, everyday.. I'm tellin' ya.. Best in the world.. Sheer perfection.. Kinda enjoy it actually.

I can prove it if I have to.. After I get out of the hospital of course.. just don't bust my right arm.. hahaha

 

Are you of Middle Eastern, Central Asian, Eastern European, or Far Eastern descent?

 

Hey, baby, if youre feelin down
I know what's good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin me

cause I'm a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

Dont drive no big black car
Dont like no hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
You dont give a damn what I do to you

I'm just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Well, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

I've been in trouble since I dont know when
I'm in trouble now and I now somehow Ill find trouble again
I'm a loner, but I'm never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone

cause I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Cmon, cmon boy
Dirty white boy, white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Hey, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy, yeah​

 

I woke up, breathing, brain intact, I can see, hear, move my arms and legs, control my sphinter muscles, Sun's shining! Yay the fukk me!

 

Are you daft man?

 

No, I'm wez... where the hell you been?

 

Are you gay, man?

 

Do you think you'll always wake up, breathing, brain intact, seeing, hearing, and have voluntary control of your sphinter muscles?


I'm here to tell ya.. Aint gonna happen.. 100% no money back guarantee..


Are you daft man?

 

I'm just about ready to iron my scrubs and do the dishes... By hand..


And I vacuumed already and am fresh out of the shower...


yay you!