But you just admitted you do lie to them. For the sake of your father-in law(?). Are you saying your two year old understands that Santa isnt real? Or that she does believe. But at four she'll start doubting? I think my son was about eight or nine when he stopped looking out the window for Santa. He still was excited about Chritmas. My grandchildren get excited about Santa. They are six and five. The eight year old, I think is past believing. Hey I'm not debating your parenting skills.
Nope. Read again... you asked why bother "allowing them to believe it". Your words, not mine. I never said I did the lying, but I let the wife and family do the santa thing. I don't tell my kids santa is real, but I don't tell them the truth either. It hasn't come up yet The latter. I can't say for certain that she "believes", but she knows santa by sight, and knows he brings presents on christmas. Although I think she already knows that santa and grandpa are the same person. None of this is inconsistent with what I've been saying - I said by 8 they are doubting. Your 8 year old grandchild is "past believing". Why are we arguing? I never thought you were. (Until now?)
Actually you said 'well before eight'. I thought it was debating. I get the sense you think I am accusing you of something. I'm not so the (Until now?) thing is unwarranted. Maybe its different because , as you say, you were never ''lied'' to about these childhood spectors. I like the thought of children being children for as long as they can.
Yes I said well before eight, and you said your eight year-old is "beyond believing", so presumably he stopped believing sometime before eight. Maybe I shouldn't have used the word "well" since you seem to think that means at age four. I'm sorry if you feel I'm being unfair, but I can't help but feel that you are making a straw man out of everything I say by interpreting my words in an exaggerated fashion. I don't see why we are even arguing when we agree on almost everything we say. The reason I made the comment is because you felt it was necessary to tell me that you weren't criticizing my parenting, when that thought had never even crossed my mind. If that was out of line I apologize. I may have reacted that way because I feel I have been on the defensive for this entire exchange. Maybe it was a mistake on my part to enter this discussion using a word as strong as "lie" but that's just how I feel about it. I agree that kids should be kids, and maybe I would have had more fun if my parents had done the whole santa thing at christmas. But that's just not what my experience was, and I just wanted to share my experience as a contrast to what experience others may have had, and to say that maybe you don't necessarily have to tell your kids something that isn't true for them to have a happy childhood. But like I said, this is just my opinion - I don't have all the answers - and in fact my children are being raised differently than I was raised. And I'm ok with that.
I look at it as totally harmless bit of childhood fantasy myself. Maybe my family is different but our kids weren't traumatized by figuring out that Santa didn;t actually exist. When they did figure it out, or more realistically, when they told us they figured it out - the latter often comes after the former lol, they seemed to enjoy reaching a stage where they were 'in on it'. My oldest helped with being Santa for our 2 youngest after he didn't believe any more. And the 2 youngest have helped being Santa with younger kids in our extended family. I don't have any problems with people not having that tradition in their family. But, I would think parents would have to have a pretty poor relationship with their kids to have the kids resent them for 'lying to them' about Santa Claus being real. I don't think either parenting choice is going to traumatize the kids.
Okey doke. Youre on the defensive and you dont need to be. In my opinion 'well before eight' would mean more than a month before you hit that age. To me it implies a few years before eight. Thats all. I only have a few ''snippets'' of things that happened when I was two or three or four. I'm sure I got excited during those times at Christmas, but probably because my older brother and parents got me excited about it. I just felt that you were only giving a child about two years of full appreciation for the whole Santa experience. I meant no ill will.
Well we did not have a chimney either and I still believed. Plus I do not feel that my parents were lying to me. They just exaggerated a bit.
PK do you wish that your parents would have told you there was a Santa? Or had the tooth fairy come? Just to have the childhood that many others have had?
Not really. Actually I think it was more fun to be in on the joke. But who knows, maybe if they had strung me along I would have enjoyed Christmas more. As I said before, I still loved Christmas - I didn't need to believe in santa to enjoy getting presents.
I agree with you on the lying part. I do not see how others can be tramatized for saying their parents lied to them. I would think that maybe they would more upset if they did not get to partake in this so called fantasy.
I for one was never upset about not believing the fantasy. And I know at least a couple of people personally who tell me they were quite upset to find out the truth after once believing.
I may have been upset the first day or so after finding out. but I always managed to have a good holiday whether I believed in them or not.
I was surprised when they told me how upset finding out the truth was... they're not crazy or anything by any standards, a bit eccentric but who isn't to some extent?
