Stan Kegel wrote: > Humor is universal and the same joke appears in many cultures. Sometimes > only minor changes need be made as changing a church to a synagogue in > "Repaint and thin no more." Sometimes the stories vary tremendously but the > point is the same. Here then are the story of two pious dogs. > > The Jewish Version: > > A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. So he calls him Irving. > He can't wait to show him off to his neighbor, so when the neighbor > finally comes over, the guy calls Irving into the house, bragging about how > smart he is. > The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail > wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with > anticipation. > The guy points to the newspaper by the door and commands "Okay, Irving, > Fetch!" > Immediately, the dog climbs on to the couch and sits, his tail wagging > furiously. > Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile disappears. He starts > to frown and puts on a sour face. > Looking up at his master, he whines, "You think this is easy, wagging my > tail all the time? Oy ... This constant wagging of the tail puts me in such > pain, you should only know! And you think it's easy eating that dreck you > call designer dog food. Forget it ... it's too salty and it gives me gas. > And also the runs, but what do you care? Why don't you try it if you think > it's so good? You try it. Dreck I say! Then you push me out the door to take > care of my business, twice a day. It's disgusting I tell you! And when was > the last time you took me for a nice long walk? I can't remember when!" > The neighbor is absolutely amazed ... stunned. In astonishment, he says, > "I can't believe it. Irving can speak. Your dog actually talks. Here he is > sitting on the sofa talking to us." > "I know, I know." says the owner. "He's not yet fully trained yet. He > thought I said, 'Kvetch'." (Kvetch = Constant complaining) > > The Christian Version: > > A strong Baptist family decided to buy a home and make everything in the > house Baptist. They were going to make it look and feel Baptist through and > through. So when they were finished they went to a petshop to look for a > Baptist dog. > They asked the owner, "Do you have a Baptist dog?" > Surprised, the petshop owner thought about it for a while and then > nodded, saying, "Yes... yes, I think we have a dog that will fit your > description." > So the owner brought out the dog to the family, and the father said, > "Let's see if this is a real Baptist dog." So the father said to the dog, > "Go get a Bible." > And the dog ran over to a table, grabbed a Bible in its mouth, ran back > to the man and plopped the book at his feet. > Impressed, the father continued, "Let's see if this dog knows its books > of the Bible... Turn to Psalm 23". > The dog then opened the Bible with its snout and pawed through the pages > to Psalm 23. > Very pleased, the father bought the dog and brought it home. > The next day, the family had visitors. They showed their friends the > Baptist dog and the things it could do. > Finally, the friends asked, "Well, can it do any other tricks that > normal dogs do?" > The Baptist father wondered and said, "Hmm, I don't know. I've never > tried." He then ordered the dog, "Heel." > Suddenly the dog leaped onto the father's lap and placed its paw on the > man's head and started to pray. > "Wait a minute!" exclaimed the Baptist mother, "This dog isn't Baptist! > It's Pentecostal!" Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times a day?
On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: > Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times > a day? Isn't that what Allah created camels for?
<drosenfield@gmail.com> wrote in message news:72307c00-4017-45f5-84af-6b355eafb068@e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com... > On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: > >> Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times >> a day? > > Isn't that what Allah created camels for? Oh, so you had to change the subject to sex.
On Sun, 06 Jan 2008 21:30:28 -0700, MosNot wrote: > <drosenfield@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:72307c00-4017-45f5-84af-6b355eafb068@e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com... > >> On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: >> >>> Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times >>> a day? >> >> Isn't that what Allah created camels for? > > Oh, so you had to change the subject to sex. Don't you ever think of anything but humps? -- tinmimus99@hotmail.com smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 "Polly-wolly-doodle"--what does it _mean_? < _SOB_
In article <0cmdnX9iLu1mMBzanZ2dnUVZ_tbinZ2d@giganews.com>, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote: > On Sun, 06 Jan 2008 21:30:28 -0700, MosNot wrote: > > > <drosenfield@gmail.com> wrote in message > > news:72307c00-4017-45f5-84af-6b355eafb068@e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com... > > > >> On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: > >> > >>> Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times > >>> a day? > >> > >> Isn't that what Allah created camels for? > > > > Oh, so you had to change the subject to sex. > > Don't you ever think of anything but humps? And which does he like the best -- one hump or two? -- Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com "Thirty days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc
"Michael N. LeVine" <mlevinespmfltr@redshift.com> found these unused words: >In article <0cmdnX9iLu1mMBzanZ2dnUVZ_tbinZ2d@giganews.com>, > mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote: > >> On Sun, 06 Jan 2008 21:30:28 -0700, MosNot wrote: >> >> > <drosenfield@gmail.com> wrote in message >> > news:72307c00-4017-45f5-84af-6b355eafb068@e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com... >> > >> >> On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: >> >> >> >>> Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times >> >>> a day? >> >> >> >> Isn't that what Allah created camels for? >> > >> > Oh, so you had to change the subject to sex. >> >> Don't you ever think of anything but humps? > >And which does he like the best -- one hump or two? More the question, how many does Mary allow?
<drosenfield@gmail.com> wrote in message news:72307c00-4017-45f5-84af-6b355eafb068@e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com... > On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: > >> Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times >> a day? > > Isn't that what Allah created camels for? Q. Why do they call camels ships of the desert? A. Because they are full of Arab se(a)men!!
"Lew" <Lewzeelastik@PANTIESyahoo.com> found these unused words: > ><drosenfield@gmail.com> wrote in message >news:72307c00-4017-45f5-84af-6b355eafb068@e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com... >> On Jan 6, 7:01 am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: >> >>> Is there a Muslim version, with the dog kneeling on a prayer mat 5 times >>> a day? >> >> Isn't that what Allah created camels for? > >Q. Why do they call camels ships of the desert? >A. Because they are full of Arab se(a)men!! > Bactrian post ...
