On Fri, 5 Oct 2007 11:44:17 +1000, "David W" <no@email.provided> wrote: >"metro-golden-meower" <metro-golden-meower@meow.org> wrote in message >> >> i do belive you have posted an out of date alt.cesium faq. i shall >> post the last upto date one i know about some time later today. > >Thanks. finaly after bunking off usenet for a few weeks its the official, if it isn't, fuck ya, alt.cesium faq: Frequently Asked Questions about Cesium and alt.cesium (Shamelessly stolen from one of Randall Nelson's web pages with updates by Cipher) Q1. What is the purpose of the newsgroup alt.cesium? A1. This newsgroup is intended expressly for the discussion, praise, veneration, and adoration, the posting of songs, poetry, stories, and parables of and about that most sublime of elements, the almighty Cesium. Crossposting is aggressively discouraged; persistent miscreants are netnapped and treated to the traditional Cesium Enema. ****************************** UPDATE : Nuking France into the stone age has become priority NUMBER ONE! ****************************** Update : The current dezines of alt.cesium enjoy lively discussions on other Cesium related topics. These include, but are not limited to : Spam, Toast, Marmite, Tea and of course, Nuking France!! ****************************** Q2. What is Cesium? A2. Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff Kirchhoff in 1860. The basis of the discovery was two, beautiful sky-blue lines from which it takes its name (Latin, caesius, sky-blue). Atomic number 55, Cesium is the heaviest of the natural alkali metals. Physically, it is a soft metal or light liquid, pale gold in color when pure, silvery-white otherwise. It melts at 28.4 C, just below body heat, and boils at 669.3 C. It has a specific gravity of 1.873, and an atomic weight of 132.9045. Cesium occurs naturally in the minerals lepidolite and pollucite, the latter a hydrated aluminum cesium silicate. The richest known deposit occurs at Bernic Lake Manitoba where pollucite deposits averaging over 20% Cesium are estimated to exceed 300,000 metric tons. (Bernic Lake is also the site of the annual Cesium festival on February 24 where tons of Cesium are burned in the snow, and other Cesium madness prevails.) Cesium can be isolated by electrolysis of the fused cyanide, by vacuum distillation upon reduction of the chloride by calcium metal, and by other methods. High purity cesium salts are available for about $100/pound. According to the CRC 1987-88 handbook of Chemistry and Physics, the metal costs approximately $25/gram; however some devotees have reported costs as low as $3/gm for technical grade (99%) metal. Cesium is an alkali metal, in the same group as lithium, sodium, potassium, and rubidium, and is similarly reactive, but to a much higher degree due to its extreme electropositivity. It reacts explosively with water, and with ice down to -116 C. In air, it catches fire spontaneously and burns with a brilliant sky-blue flame. (To the uninitiated, the flame appears purplish rather than blue; however, after sufficient meditation, study of the holy writs, and blissful hours spent in reverence before Cesium burning in her naked glory, the true blue nature of her flame is revealed.) Its hydroxide is the most powerful aqueous base known, and will eat through glass, flesh, bone, and numerous other substances. Its International Chillout (IC) competition, though lately it has been embarassed by rubidium. The greatest use of Cesium tonnage-wise is in the annual Cesium orgies sponsored by AMSWWBUW. Q3. What about Fr***ium? A3. We do not mention the name in alt.cesium, that false element being an upstart and pretender, vile, depraved, unnatural, and having no staying power. The longest lived isotope, Fr233 has a half life of only 22 minutes. Try to base a global time standard on that!!! Q4. What is AMSWWBUW? A4. AMSWWBUW stands for the Association of Mad Scientists Who Want to Blow Up the World. It is a highly secretive organization. Its activities involve large numbers of monkeys and vast quantities of Cesium. Given the indisputable fact that all persons in direct contact with the organization have mysteriously vanished from the net, the fewer questions asked, the better. Most of our information about this shadowy group derives from one Brendan Dunn, who was instrumental in the formation of alt.cesium. He, alas, is among the vanished. Q5. Are there any songs about Cesium? A5. Many. See ftp/pub/u/nelson/cesium_songs_col at cs.rochester.edu for an ftp archive. See also Songs of Cesium. Q6. Where can I get some Cesium? A6. You probably can't, unless you are a "bona fide institution". If you are, any number of chemical suppliers will happily sell you as much as you can afford. For example, ICN (biologicals) lists 99.9% pure Cesium metal at $161.10 per gram. A bit steep even as Cesium goes (if you're willing to buy in bulk, you ought to be able to get it for closer to $25 or even $3 a gram). They'll also sell you ultra pure (99.999%) Cesium Chloride for $371.95/kg. Call 1-800-334-6999 toll free they say. Q7. Can I eat Cesium? A7. Yes Q8. What will happen if I do? A8. Read the section on the reactions of Cesium with water, and of Cesium Hydroxide with biological materials. You should also know that Cesium has been shown to have pronounced physiological action in experiments with animals, when administered in large quantities. Hyperirritability, including marked spasms has been shown to follow the administration of Cesium in amounts equal to the potassium content of the diet. Total replacement of dietary potassium with cesium in rats caused death in 10-17 days. Could explain the AMSWWBUW mystery, though no reference seem to exist for monkeys. Q9. Are there any jokes about Cesium? A9. There is exactly one joke about Cesium. It goes like this. So these two Cesium atoms are walking down the street. Says the first Cesium atom, "oh my god! I think I'm missing an electron". Says the second, "are you sure?" Says the first, "I'm positive". HAHAHAHAHAHA :] Q10. Are there any neat Cesium compounds? A10. Lots. Many of them explode with the slightest provocation or when thrown into water. For example. Cesium Chloroxenate Formula: CsClO3Xe MW: 347.66 Properties: Explodes Uses: Chemical curiosity, possible rodenticide Toxicity: Unknown Comments: One of the few known compounds involving a noble gas, a halogen, and an alaklai metal. Explodes if you look at it cross-eyed. Cesium Tetraperchloratoiodate Formula: CsI(ClO4)4 MW: 657.62 Properties: Explodes under laser irradiation (and anything else) Uses: Curiosity, revenge against people with laser pointers. Comments: Illustrates the +3 oxidation state of iodine, stabilized by the size of the perchlorate ion. A related compound, Iodine(III) perchlorate I(ClO4)3 also explodes under laser irradiation. Cesium Azide Formula: CsN3 Physical appearance: Color needles; Deliquesces. Molecular Weight: 174.93 Melting point: 310 (Yes you can melt it) Boiling point: Decomposes with evolution of nitrogen Solubility in cold water 224 gm/100cc Properties: Poisonous to rats. LD50 about 30 mg/kg Decomposes on heating, eventually producing metallic cesium and nitrogen. More stable than sodium and potassium azide. Heptacesium oxide Formula: Cs7O. Molecular weight: 946.3 Melting point: 4.3 C (decomposes) Description: Consists of Bronze, hexagonal crystals. Analysis shows presence of Cs11O3 subgroup, hence formula should be written [Cs11O3]Cs10. Decomposes violently in water to hydroxide, On slow heating to Cs3O and cesium-rich liquid. Uses: Photocathodes, Image converters, Rat poison Comments: One of a series of suboxides of Cesium. Produced by slow cooling of appropriate stochiometric mixture of metallic Cesium and Oxygen. Possible due to extreme solubility of oxygen in liquid cesium. Cesium ozonate (Cesium trioxide) Formula: CsO3. Molecular Weight: 180.9 Description: Unstable, bright red compound. Strong oxidizer. Decomposes with release of Oxygen. Reacts vigorously with water. Highest known oxide of Cesium, at the opposite end of the spectrum from Cs7O. Prepared by reacting Cesium or its lower oxides with ozone. Uses: Curiosity, Exploding red ink. Etc. etc. etc. Q11. What are some popular Cesium products? A11. Cesium Crispies (snap, crackle, Kaboom!!!) Cesium Shake (Two scoops of vanilla ice cream, 1/4 cup Cesium, blend) Cesium Condoms (for a bang-up good time) Cesium Cooler (eutectic mix of Cesium, potassium and sodium, 14.5% Cs, 57.5% K, 28% Na, melting point -78 degrees Celsius - the lowest melting metallic composition known. Bottoms up!!! Q12. What should I do if I meet Cesium in dark alley? A12. Run!!!!!!!!!
On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: > Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true > elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from > Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff > Kirchhoff (of "laws" fame) > in 1860. -- tinmimus99@hotmail.com smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 You want a job and a lizard to ride? < _The Einstein Intersection_
On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 18:38:41 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote: >On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: > >> Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >> elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from >> Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >> Kirchhoff > >(of "laws" fame) maybe you should track down cipher and have that out with him, after all, he's the real faq keeper. >> in 1860.
mimus wrote: > On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: > >>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >>elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from >>Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >>Kirchhoff > > (of "laws" fame) > >>in 1860. > Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? -- nuts
On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 00:45:31 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: > On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 18:38:41 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> > wrote: > >>On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >> >>> Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >>> elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from >>> Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >>> Kirchhoff >> >>(of "laws" fame) > > maybe you should track down cipher and have that out with him, after > all, he's the real faq keeper. Is he missing too? <creep-out> It's like we're trapped in one-a these "Halloween Special Weekend Movie Marathon" deals . . . . <cue creaking> -- tinmimus99@hotmail.com smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 "Ah*ooh*ah*ooh*ah*ooh*ah*ooh*ah." < _Shaun of the Dead_
On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:50:14 -0400, mixed nuts wrote: > mimus wrote: > >> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >> >>>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >>>elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from >>>Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >>>Kirchhoff >> >> (of "laws" fame) >> >>>in 1860. > > Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? I thought the alt.cesium FAQ banned all mention of cesium anyway. Must've been one helluva factional dispute there somewhere. -- tinmimus99@hotmail.com smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 Whatever are we to do to show the true harmony and peace that rule here, somewhat disguised at the moment by the apparent disorder now seemingly in progress? < Laumer
On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:00:24 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote: >On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 00:45:31 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: > >> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 18:38:41 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> >> wrote: >> >>>On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >>> >>>> Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >>>> elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from >>>> Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >>>> Kirchhoff >>> >>>(of "laws" fame) >> >> maybe you should track down cipher and have that out with him, after >> all, he's the real faq keeper. > >Is he missing too? he's been missing for quite a while. ><creep-out> > >It's like we're trapped in one-a these "Halloween Special Weekend Movie >Marathon" deals . . . . > ><cue creaking> i bet dave is the serial slasher in this movie.
On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:02:30 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote: >On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:50:14 -0400, mixed nuts wrote: > >> mimus wrote: >> >>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >>> >>>>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >>>>elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from >>>>Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >>>>Kirchhoff >>> >>> (of "laws" fame) >>> >>>>in 1860. >> >> Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? > >I thought the alt.cesium FAQ banned all mention of cesium anyway. > >Must've been one helluva factional dispute there somewhere. damn and i missed it. *sulks*
On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:07:11 +0100, metro-golden-meower blather'd thus: > On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:02:30 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> > wrote: > >>On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:50:14 -0400, mixed nuts wrote: >> >>> mimus wrote: >>> >>>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >>>> >>>>>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true elements. >>>>>It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from Durkheim >>>>>Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff Kirchhoff >>>> >>>> (of "laws" fame) >>>> >>>>>in 1860. >>> >>> Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? >> >>I thought the alt.cesium FAQ banned all mention of cesium anyway. >> >>Must've been one helluva factional dispute there somewhere. > > damn and i missed it. *sulks* I'm with ya, laddie. This place was an absolute TIP! Looks as if they've cleared off. I guess we did miss it, huh? Blast-n-damn. -- Dr E-- mhm 17x1 SGM #3 smeeter #13 FWAC:"Old No.-7" Surgeon General-Relativity Commodore/Upper-Half/1st Virginia Volunteers/CEsium Brigade NF & TCIB. ATFFFIQ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "The flames kindled on the fourth of July, seventeen hundred and seventy six, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism." -- Thomas Jefferson
On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:23:17 GMT, Dr Entropy <entropy@meow.org> wrote: >On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:07:11 +0100, metro-golden-meower blather'd thus: > >> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:02:30 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> >> wrote: >> >>>On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:50:14 -0400, mixed nuts wrote: >>> >>>> mimus wrote: >>>> >>>>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >>>>> >>>>>>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true elements. >>>>>>It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from Durkheim >>>>>>Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff Kirchhoff >>>>> >>>>> (of "laws" fame) >>>>> >>>>>>in 1860. >>>> >>>> Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? >>> >>>I thought the alt.cesium FAQ banned all mention of cesium anyway. >>> >>>Must've been one helluva factional dispute there somewhere. >> >> damn and i missed it. *sulks* > >I'm with ya, laddie. This place was an absolute TIP! Looks as if they've >cleared off. I guess we did miss it, huh? Blast-n-damn. dr pepper dropped by a few years ago, i spotted that on google a while back. i came accross dunks in another ng somewhere and i cannot remember where. i have no idea where nyk tarr has gone and everyone else just seems to have abanded our once beloved ng. a little while back some squatters where trying to take it over! BASTARDS!
On Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:30:00 +0000, metro-golden-meower wrote: > On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:23:17 GMT, Dr Entropy <entropy@meow.org> wrote: > >>On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:07:11 +0100, metro-golden-meower blather'd thus: >> >>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:02:30 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> >>> wrote: >>> >>>>On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:50:14 -0400, mixed nuts wrote: >>>> >>>>> mimus wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true elements. >>>>>>>It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water from Durkheim >>>>>>>Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff Kirchhoff >>>>>> >>>>>> (of "laws" fame) >>>>>> >>>>>>>in 1860. >>>>> >>>>> Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? >>>> >>>>I thought the alt.cesium FAQ banned all mention of cesium anyway. >>>> >>>>Must've been one helluva factional dispute there somewhere. >>> >>> damn and i missed it. *sulks* >> >>I'm with ya, laddie. This place was an absolute TIP! Looks as if they've >>cleared off. I guess we did miss it, huh? Blast-n-damn. > > dr pepper dropped by a few years ago, i spotted that on google a while > back. i came accross dunks in another ng somewhere and i cannot > remember where. i have no idea where nyk tarr has gone and everyone > else just seems to have abanded our once beloved ng. > > a little while back some squatters where trying to take it over! > BASTARDS! This stuff sends chills up my fingers. Then there's the groups that would be better off dead . . . . -- tinmimus99@hotmail.com smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 "Ah*ooh*ah*ooh*ah*ooh*ah*ooh*ah." < _Shaun of the Dead_
On Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:30:00 +0000, metro-golden-meower blather'd thus: > On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:23:17 GMT, Dr Entropy <entropy@meow.org> wrote: > >>On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:07:11 +0100, metro-golden-meower blather'd thus: >> >>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:02:30 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> >>> wrote: >>> >>>>On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:50:14 -0400, mixed nuts wrote: >>>> >>>>> mimus wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> On Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:24:56 +0100, metro-golden-meower wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>>Cesium is the most sublime and electropositive of all true >>>>>>>elements. It was discovered spectroscopically, in mineral water >>>>>>>from Durkheim Germany by Robert Bunsen (of burner fame) and Gustaff >>>>>>>Kirchhoff >>>>>> >>>>>> (of "laws" fame) >>>>>> >>>>>>>in 1860. >>>>> >>>>> Were there cop and lawyer shows in 1860? >>>> >>>>I thought the alt.cesium FAQ banned all mention of cesium anyway. >>>> >>>>Must've been one helluva factional dispute there somewhere. >>> >>> damn and i missed it. *sulks* >> >>I'm with ya, laddie. This place was an absolute TIP! Looks as if they've >>cleared off. I guess we did miss it, huh? Blast-n-damn. > > dr pepper dropped by a few years ago, i spotted that on google a while > back. i came accross dunks in another ng somewhere and i cannot remember > where. i have no idea where nyk tarr has gone and everyone else just > seems to have abanded our once beloved ng. *sigh* > > a little while back some squatters where trying to take it over! > BASTARDS! That'd be them with th' foreign tongues? That was maddening. I ran away about then. -- Dr E-- mhm 17x1 SGM #3 smeeter #13 FWAC:"Old No.-7" Surgeon General-Relativity Commodore/Upper-Half/1st Virginia Volunteers/CEsium Brigade NF & TCIB. ATFFFIQ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "The flames kindled on the fourth of July, seventeen hundred and seventy six, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism." -- Thomas Jefferson
