Re: 03/04/05 Puns

250 days to October 25.

 

30 days to March 19.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47BA5CB7.BF93142E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:43F1983E.84F80048@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > >
> > > > In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6.80688@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > > > nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > >news:3FB326AA.4DE0EDE9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> > > > >>
> > > > >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
>
> > > still!!)
> > > > >
> > > > >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> > > > >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> > > > >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> > > > >
> > > > Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
> > >
> > > Subconscious: Aware underwater.
> > >
> > > Intermission: Relations between churches.
> > >
> > E-Q-Menical?
>
> A blessed Q-Pun!

Or sixty+ years ago, a Ration Q-Pun. I can still just remember em!

And to add insult to injury regarding food being in short supply, we lived
in Sandwich Street at the time! )

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47B8AF7A.FCD25F20@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > KIMEVANS <kimevans@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> > news:j_X%c.24833$D7.19377@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > >
> > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > news:HrX%c.1910$v93.1869@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > Equivocation: The dedicated and lifelong online study of the
> things
> > > archers
> > > > keep their arrows in.
> > > >
> > > > I know it's bowlocks and a flight of fancy but who cares? Just
> string
> > > along
> > > > with me for now.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > I'm starting to think you should be shafted
> > >
> > I knew I'd missed a bit.
> >
> > Longbow: Used by a tall, handsome, impeccably dressed man.
> >
> > Turkish Bow: Used by a small, swarthy-looking chap with, if he's
> lucky, a
> > really big moustache!
> >
> > Crossbow: Used by an angry man.
> >
> > Trebuchet: Used by a Roman guy who's been frightened by the sudden
> > appearance of three geared steam locomotives designed to haul lumber.
>
> Crossbow: Used by a Christian Crusader.

There only *were* Christian Crusaders. On the first Crusade, most of them
were very unpeasant as well!

> Crossbow: Angry weapon.

Tree Boo Chez: French house where arboreal shrubs jump out and frighten you
with very big crossbows.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47B924E1.E3F7E0FC@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41ECAC2F.A4B25EA1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > "Keith E." wrote:
> > >
> > > > Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:31:28 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> > > > until Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> > > > >On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 02:55:42 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com>
> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > >>>>>>>>>Don't get sniffy with me, young man!
> > > > >>>>>>>>
> > > > >>>>>>>>Don't worry, I keep nose plugs with me at all times.
> > > > >>>>>>>
> > > > >>>>>>>You might just want to trim your nose hair once it gets
> that
> > thick,
> > > > >>>>>>>Keith.
> > > > >>>>>>
> > > > >>>>>>I tried, but it objected.
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>>So that's where your handlebar mustache came from!
> > > > >>>>
> > > > >>>>No, that came off a bicycle. It's just a realistic paint job.
>
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>>I thought the red handlebar grips with the multicolored
> streamers
> > were
> > > > >>>a bit much, though.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>They aren't streamers, they're snot wicks. They work kinda like
>
> > > > >>those fancy clothes that wick sweat from your body.
> > > > >
> > > > >That'll make you popular with the ladies!
> > > >
> > > > They want me for my classy ways.
> > >
> > > Have you ever tried to TUNAFISH?
> >
> > To which key?
>
> Airlock: Keeps oxygen from being stolen.

You need lots of LOX to do that. And bagels!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47B8B279.6DB4B510@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Farming: Far away rural Chinese vase.
>
> Framing: Picture vase.

Narr. It's a vase that's unravelling at the edges.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47B8B382.B3303198@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AC1B8F.834B1335@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Kathy wrote:
> >
> > > "Buffalo Chilkat" <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > > news:9togqvocm60lob63mb6v06ft9f4cgu7anf@4ax.com...
> > > >
> > > > A window fell from high above and became embedded deeply within
> the
> > > > hindquarters of a donkey standing on the street below. What a
> pane in
> > > > the ass.
> > >
> > > Perhaps the donkey could file a glass action suit.
> >
> > Against Microsoft (The makers of Windows).
>
> Yeah. Their software's a pane!
>
> Hardware: Worn by knights, cops, and soldiers.

Kevin Larr. Inventor of body-R. Moore.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47B92763.D4431AB3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> mike wheeEler wrote:
>
> > In article <3FAB4D25.2E6EBA2C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
> oddly when:
> > >
> > >Cancer: A knight of small metal containers.
> > >
> > Can diass: kodachrome slide rendition of a container of candy...
> Soda: Soft drink Daddy.

And now it's 10.1 Mega Pixel censers. Still - they make the church smell
nice.

 

200 days since August 5.

 

195 days since my Dad's 69th birthday.

 

210 days since July 26.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:47BA5CB7.BF93142E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:43F1983E.84F80048@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6.80688@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> > > > > nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > >news:3FB326AA.4DE0EDE9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
> >
> > > > still!!)
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> > > > > >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> > > > > >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
> > > >
> > > > Subconscious: Aware underwater.
> > > >
> > > > Intermission: Relations between churches.
> > > >
> > > E-Q-Menical?
> >
> > A blessed Q-Pun!
>
> Or sixty+ years ago, a Ration Q-Pun. I can still just remember em!

IIRC, you only turned 60 last year, so how can you remember stuff that
happened 60 years ago?

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45DA89E8.89A1E7D0@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Milton J. Smuthworthy, I <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote in
> > message
> > > news:42082280$0$29112$45beb828@newscene.com...
> > > >
> > > > Then "nemo" says:
> > > > >> Then "nemo" says:
> > > > >>>Bob Crowley <bobcrowley@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
> > > > >
> > > > >>>> What's brown, smelly and sits on Mrs. Beethoven's piano stool?
> > > > >>>> Young Beethoven's last movement.
> > > > >>>JS Bach's last movement, in Der Kunst Der Fugue, ends suddenly in
> > the
> > > > >>>middle where he put his pen down for the last time. Very sad
> > indeed.
> > > > >>>He must have been a sailor at one time too, because a lot of
> > people
> > > call
> > > > >>>him "The Master."
> > > > >>
> > > > >> He invented the quarter deck. Also the eightth deck and the
> > > > >> sixteenth deck. But then his ship had so many flags it
> > > > >> capsized and sunk inter the mezzo (that's in Potamia).
> > > > >
> > > > >Many a true word spoken ingest - especially about food!
> > > > >He escaped though, and drove away in his Ricercar.
> > > >
> > > > Then he'll announce his arrival eerily saying, "I'm Baaaach!"
> > > > and using his calculator to create music mathematically.
> > > > That dude really has a bad add etude!
> > >
> > > Especially when he was in a brown study.
> > >
> > > http://www.onelook.com/?w=brown study&ls=a
> > >
> > > It's odd that so many people like Phillip Glass' systematic music and
> > think
> > > it's something new and modern when dear old JSB was writing it
> > donkey's
> > > years ago - like many of the preludes in Das W?hltemperierte Klavier.
> >
> > Prelude: Before one exposes oneself.
> >
> > Interlude: In between exposures.
>
> Postlude: A licentious mail-man!
>
> Conclude: A licentious nose.
>
> Quaalude: A drug that causes large groups of very posh singers to become
> licentious!

Licentious: Very sexual penny?

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:414D794A.D8CF4900@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:414A367F.F7F3A49B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4144392E.E13E550A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > James D. Davis (jimd@gate.net) wrote on 1995-03-28 19:44:05
PST:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Dick Wentworth (dwent@tiac.net) wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > : A duck walks into a 7-11 and says, "Give me some
chapstick and
> put
> > > it
> > > > > on my
> > > > > > > : bill!"
> > > > > > > : That cracks me up every time.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I didn't know this was gonna turn into a web site. But if

> that's
> > > > > > > afoot...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Q. What do you get with two ducks and a cow?
> > > > > > > A. Quackers and milk.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Q. What do ducks eat for breakfast?
> > > > > > > A. Quacker Oats.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Q. What do you call a duck who plays bridge?
> > > > > > > A. Donald Trump.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Waddle the rest of you think up?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Why was the duck con released?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Because he got credit for good con-duck.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > What do you use to patch up an injured duck?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Duck tape.
> > > > >
> > > > > What would you use to patch up the country of Greece if it
were
> injured?
> > > > >
> > > > > Ellas toplast.
> > > >
> > > > Not Con Crete?
> > > >
> > > Allas not. Ellas is Greek for Greece, although why Greek for bank
is
> Trapeze
> > > and the word 'Idiot' appears on their Road Fund Licenses, I've no
eye
> deer.
> >
> > You have blind deer?
> >
> I bound its legs together too. It seemed like a knee-tie deer!

Goldberg: Yellow ice berg.

 

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Sat, 07 Feb 2004 07:09:14 +1030, David Simpson
> <farookdas@picknowl.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Fri, 6 Feb 2004 13:25:30 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> ><misterx@larkbooks.com> typed furiously:
> >
> >>J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>> On Sat, 07 Feb 2004 00:16:24 +1030, David Simpson
> >>> <farookdas@picknowl.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>
> >>>> On Thu, 05 Feb 2004 13:18:05 -0800, J. A. Mc.
> >>>> <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com>
> >>>> typed furiously:
> >>>>
> >>>>> On Fri, 06 Feb 2004 04:57:21 +1030, David Simpson
> >>>>> <farookdas@picknowl.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> On Tue, 03 Feb 2004 09:45:52 -0800, J. A. Mc.
> >>>>>> <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com>
> >>>>>> typed furiously:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> On Wed, 04 Feb 2004 00:24:05 +1030, David Simpson
> >>>>>>> <farookdas@picknowl.com.au> found these unused words floating
> >>>>>>> about:
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> On Mon, 02 Feb 2004 10:04:29 -0800, J. A. Mc.
> >>>>>>>> <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com>
> >>>>>>>> typed furiously:
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> On Tue, 03 Feb 2004 00:43:43 +1030, David Simpson
> >>>>>>>>> <farookdas@picknowl.com.au> found these unused words floating
> >>>>>>>>> about:
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 20:43:08 GMT, "nemo"
> >>>>>>>>>> <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> typed furiously:
> >>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Milton J. Smuthworthy, I <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com>
> >>>>>>>>>>> wrote in message
> >>>>>>>>>>> news:401ad2d3$0$43831$45beb828@newscene.com...
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> "Greg Evans" <misterx@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>>>>>>>>>>> news:<bve31o$r6lp4$1@ID-159999.news.uni-berlin.de> the
> >>>>>>>>>>>> following:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> nemo wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Palema wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> My daughter gave me this:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Mortar, morter everywhere and not a rock to chink!"
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Now that's an explosively good pun!
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Howitzer good pun, I cannot see.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> You don't think it should be added to the classic-pun
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> cannon, then?
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> I refuse this five-pun bomb.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Come too thin cough it - if schoolkids wanted to blow up
> >>>>>>>>>>> their school, whould they use Satchel Charges?
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> Nah! Plasticine explosive.
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> Paid for with milk money ... gives a new thought to "Play
> >>>>>>>>> Dough".
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> So long as they don't press charges.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> "The schools are in bad shape.", charges Tom exploding in fury.
> >>>>>>> {JAMc}
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>> Dyna might help you out if you ask her nicely.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> That's what Nobel thought brings to mind.
> >>>>
> >>>> Just beg. Un powder will cure your headache.
> >>>
> >>> How simple, after I've tried all the other blasting remedies.
> >>> Now I might get a gelignite's sleep!
> >>
> >>I tried to go to bed, but I couldn't C4 the smoke.
> >>
> >Nite, ro glycer in the morning then.
>
> We're just going to leave him to sulphur?

Sulphur: Smelly snow.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4237FADF.75ABDE92@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> >
> > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote ...
> > > > On Tue, 10 Aug "Sheila Dundee" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > > On Mon, 9 Aug 2004 11:45:56 +0930, "Sheila Dundee" found
these
> unused
> > > words floating
> > > > > > about:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>> On Sun, 08 Aug 2004 13:18:00 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard" found
these
> > > unused words floating
> > > > > >>> about:
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>>> On Sun, 8 Aug 2004 15:30:20 +0930
> > > > > >>>> "Sheila Dundee" wrote:
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>> On Sat, 7 Aug 2004 20:56:54 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> these
> > > unused words floating
> > > > > >>>>>> about:
> > > > > >>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>> On Fri, 6 Aug 2004 12:44:25 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> these
> > > unused words
> > > > > >floating>>>>>>> about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> On Thu, 5 Aug 2004 09:54:37 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> On Wed, 4 Aug 2004 14:29:59 +0930, "Sheila
Dundee"
> found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Michael Balarama wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" wrote ..
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Tue, 03 Aug 2004 18:03:37 GMT, David
Reihmer
> found
> > > these unused words
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The noxious fumes bubbled and oozed from the

> surface
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> of Muhammad Ali (also known as Gaseous Clay)

> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He didn't planet, just happened when he
mooned us.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You shouldn't joke about giant stars like him!

> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You can telescopes badly with criticism.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> didn't they make a movie about that-
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> raiders of the Gaseous Clay
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Sulphur so good!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> ( btw I lava good movie)
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>> Yeah, but you're still seeking Ol' Faithful.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> I am not interested in old geysers!!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> That is, not unless they come up with a sparkling
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>> Yellowstone!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> Sigh ... that lets me out. Time to quit building my
"Hot
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>> Springs">>>> ark.
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> Spouting off again I see! Steamy off group so we
don't
> > > > > >inter>>>>>>>> -erupt the others
> > > > > >>>>>>>>> by blowing our tops!
> > > > > >>>>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>>> What Vesuvius what you get. Lava me or leave me!
> > > > > >>>>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>>> I particularly lava your seis-Mc ! ;-)
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>>> That Krakatoa me all I need to know ... <G>!
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>>> I just go with the flow!! <s>
> > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > >>>> Just playing the fumarole?
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>> Yeah ... she magma day!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> I will vent my anger unless you caldera!!
> > > > > >>
> > > > > > I tried, but Dera wasn't home. Guess I Vulcan it for now.
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be sill-y! That's a pipe dream!!
> > > > >
> > > > You two are too in-vent-ive for me. I think I'd better go
avalanche.
> > > >
> > > > Cybe R. Wizard -where's my coffee mag, Ma?
> > > > --
> > > Careful, she passed the boiling point quite a ways back...and I
think
> she's
> > > licensed to carry a basalt weapon~!
> >
> > Basalt: Sodium Clorine sheep.
>
> Aha! Sheep that drop their aitches! Ain't seen that for aitches
either!
>
> (It's Sodium Chloride, BTW)
>
> Chemist in a restuarant: "Where's your Sodium Chloride?"

Chemist: Dirty fog.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47BE9EA9.63CCCE36@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:414D794A.D8CF4900@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:414A367F.F7F3A49B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:4144392E.E13E550A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > James D. Davis (jimd@gate.net) wrote on 1995-03-28 19:44:05
> PST:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Dick Wentworth (dwent@tiac.net) wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > : A duck walks into a 7-11 and says, "Give me some
> chapstick and
> > put
> > > > it
> > > > > > on my
> > > > > > > > : bill!"
> > > > > > > > : That cracks me up every time.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I didn't know this was gonna turn into a web site. But if
>
> > that's
> > > > > > > > afoot...
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Q. What do you get with two ducks and a cow?
> > > > > > > > A. Quackers and milk.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Q. What do ducks eat for breakfast?
> > > > > > > > A. Quacker Oats.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Q. What do you call a duck who plays bridge?
> > > > > > > > A. Donald Trump.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Waddle the rest of you think up?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Why was the duck con released?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Because he got credit for good con-duck.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > What do you use to patch up an injured duck?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Duck tape.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > What would you use to patch up the country of Greece if it
> were
> > injured?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Ellas toplast.
> > > > >
> > > > > Not Con Crete?
> > > > >
> > > > Allas not. Ellas is Greek for Greece, although why Greek for bank
> is
> > Trapeze
> > > > and the word 'Idiot' appears on their Road Fund Licenses, I've no
> eye
> > deer.
> > >
> > > You have blind deer?
> > >
> > I bound its legs together too. It seemed like a knee-tie deer!
>
> Goldberg: Yellow ice berg.

Goldberg Variations: Same, but in all different colours.

 

MosNot wrote:

> "Michael N. LeVine" <mlevinespmfltr@redshift.com> wrote in message
> news:mlevinespmfltr-FF6870.05323023022008@news.supernews.com...
> > In article <xYSdnbNM542J7SLanZ2dnUVZ_j-dnZ2d@pcisys.net>,
> > "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote:
> >> "Michael N. LeVine" <mlevinespmfltr@redshift.com> wrote in message
> >> news:mlevinespmfltr-5700DA.07541422022008@news.supernews.com...
> >> > In article <1oidndUJgYBudCPanZ2dnUVZ_ualnZ2d@pcisys.net>,
> >> > "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote:
> >> >> "Michael N. LeVine" <mlevinespmfltr@redshift.com> wrote in message
> >> >> news:mlevinespmfltr-5E28DD.07132522022008@news.supernews.com...
> >> >> > In article <C4qdnS6wq5WGgyPanZ2dnUVZ_jGdnZ2d@pcisys.net>,
> >> >> > "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote:
> >> >> >> "Sir F. A. Rien" <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >> >> >> news:et6rr39b78knnrehc0l0jcuvk28uqjie1u@4ax.com...
> >> >> >> > "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> found these unused words:
> >> >> >> >>"Michael N. LeVine" <mlevinespmfltr@redshift.com> wrote in
> >> >> >> >>message
> >> >> >> >>news:mlevinespmfltr-1EF449.07485520022008@news.supernews.com...
> >> >> >> >>> In article <GJmdnRPPpL8f1yHanZ2dnUVZ_vumnZ2d@pcisys.net>,
> >> >> >> >>> "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote:
> >> >> >> >>>> "Michael N. LeVine" <mlevinespmfltr@redshift.com> wrote in
> >> >> >> >>>> message
> >> >> >> >>>> news:mlevinespmfltr-C04064.06253020022008@news.supernews.com...
> >> >> >> >>>> > In article
> >> >> >> >>>> > <vsMuj.34535$LD6.24639@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> >> >>>> > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
> >> >> >> >>>> >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> >> >> >> >>>> >> message
> >> >> >> >>>> >> > nemo wrote:
> >> >> >> >>>> >> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> >> >> >> >>>> >> > > And he noted the fact in his log using a pen guin.
> >> >> >> >>>> >> > A log table?
> >> >> >> >>>> >> The fact that he didn't have one of those was no table.
> >> >> >> >>>> > An not log-ical...
> >> >> >> >>>> You wood know.
> >> >> >> >>> I knew it the moment I saw it.
> >> >> >> >>Usually, I don't remark on these horrid puns, but
> >> >> >> >>I'd been drinking Tanqueray and I was hammered.
> >> >> >> > Ahhh, I see, Gin and Bear it!
> >> >> >> Oh, be bitters.
> >> >> > Schnapps out of it -- cheer up and look at the fenny side of life.
> >> >> I'm about to get botanical on you.
> >> > You are going to saki to me? You must be grog-y!
> >>
> >> Enough....enough.....all this really is making me ale.
> >
> > And beery eyed?
>
> Hopping mad, too.

Hopping: Kangaroo or rabbit bell.

 

10 days to March 6.

 

105 days since November 12.