Re: 03/04/05 Puns

50 days since August 3.

 

55 days to November 16.

 

60 days to November 21.

 

80 days since the 4th of July.

 

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On 6 May 2004 07:34:20 -0500, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Should I give it the boot?
> >>>>>>>>>> Maybe you need to reset your expectations.
> >>>>>>>>> Can I take the bus to get there?
> >>>>>>>> If it's not too SCSI.
> >>>>>>> That last two I was on were a pair o' hells.
> >>>>>> Oh, you can NOT be serial!!
> >>>>> RS2! 32 others agreed with me.
> >>>> Sorry to interrupt. 67 would disagree.
> >>>If they don't want to be convinced, then you'll just have to get
> >>>in-ter-face!
> >>
> >>This thread is beginning to IRQ me. Would you two just address the
> >>matter at hand. I can get DMAnding if I have to.
> >
> >Oh Yeah? Better checksum of your ramdrive if you want to keepalive!
>
> That's just a parallel argument, Milt, and not imPORTant.

As opposed to a perpendicular argument?

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41EEF7B1.98F2AFED@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <vnchp5173u0n55@corp.supernews.com>,
jblvideo@yahoo.com, Sy
> > Knight
> > > was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> > > >>
> > > >> Hello Nick,
> > > >>
> > > >> On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri,
6:57:43
> >
> > > >> Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> > > >> > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> > > >>
> > > >> I am green with envy.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >She was well, red.
> > > >
> > > That happened when she noticed she was showing pink.
> >
> > Pink Lee: Sunburned Korean.
> >
> Crink Lee: 200 year-old Gypsy stripper.

Gypsy: Ocean of con artists.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4189AF4E.467C0A8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41870B1C.59BFC067@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > So then, Larry Krzewinski turns to the guy and says:
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>>>>>>>>You mean 20 years old with hair and without Doreen? No
can
> do.
> > > > >>>>>>>>Doreen has hair. It's just not obvious with all the
curlers.
> > > > >>>>>>>For your sake I hope that you're talking about the hair
on her
> > > head!
> > > > >>>>>>Of course! Now, the curler iron, well that's a different
story.
> > > > >>>>>>I'll never let myself run out of Viagra again!
> > > > >>>>>Weren't you even a little curious when Doreen asked for
that
> > > vibrating
> > > > >>>>>curling iron for Christmas?
> > > > >>>>She told me it would improve her head.
> > > > >>>Orally?
> > > > >>O'Really!
> > > > >>(Her roommate Aura Lee was Irish)
> > > > >
> > > > >See, my post was supposed to taken as ambiguously as possible.
I
> > > > >guess that you can't win 'em all.
> > > >
> > > > Posting: After the bell.
> > > >
> > > > Posting: Mailed bell.
> > > >
> > > > Posting: Bell on the Internet.
> > > >
> > > > Watcher: Knight of security.
> > >
> > > Cross-post: Angry poison-pen letters.
> >
> > Piston: 2,000 pounds of urine.
> >
> Car Biretta: Worn by a priest when he's driving.

Carbon: Automotive pastry.

 

Gaper: Price of a homosexual hooker.

Greenly: You look green, Lee. Are you sick?

Helper: Price of Satan's realm.

Parapet: Animal that assists the pets with pet degrees.

Plaited, Plated: Would you like to play, Ted?

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:48CC6A8B.64670679@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Advertising: Singing commercials.
> >
> > Sponser: Knight of the advertising department.
> >
>
> There are no knights in advertising departments. Just irritating little gits
> who write ads on the strange basis that you can get people to buy products
> and services by annoying them and/or treating them like little children.

Over Knight: Knight who rules the darkness.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:48CB526F.C10BFC8F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On Tue, 9 Nov 2004 00:27:53 -0000, "Raphael Kearns"
> > > <raphael@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > >news:jX8gd.59654$i02.17236@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > >> CCTV: A channel than only shows gay programmes.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >GUMTV: A channel which outlines pitfalls of unprotected sex.
> > > >
> > > WEB-TV: Spidey's home!
> >
> > ABC: One apine TV network.
> >
> > BBC: Another apine network.
> >
> > CBS: Oceanic TV.
> >
> > ESPN: Telepathic TV.
> >
> > TNT: Dynamite TV.
>
> TNT is tri-nitro toluene which is stable enough to leave it as the pure
> chemical in its crystalline state. You gotta wallop it really hard to get it
> to go bang and if you light it it just fizzles and burns slowly.
>
> Dynamite is nitro-glycerine made less unstable by having wood pulp, chalk
> etc mixed with it.
>
> Just found this:
>
> A high explosive, originally consisting of nitro-glycerine mixed with an
> absorbent substance, now with ammonium nitrate usually replacing the
> nitro-glycerine.
>
> You can buy ammonium nitrate as fertiliser, but they mix it with a nancy
> oxidising agent soze it won't go off bang. Spoilsports!

Can terrorists remove the nancy oxidising agent?

 

headdr wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405BE65D.16EA32E9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Able: 1 bull.
> >
> > Double: 2 bulls.
> >
> > Parable: 2 more bulls.
> >
> > Noble: Zero bulls.
> >
> > Tremble: Bull at the San Andreas Fault.
> >
> Comfortable: To give Toro some solace when he is sad.
> Inflatable: To pump up a bull who has gone flat.
> Debatable: To argue with the damn thing.
> Compatible: An invatation to enter the corral and show some affection.

Table: A bull to eat off of.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41539306.EC64C7AA@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41521D83.82161497@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:414F555A.C72F19EF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > On Sat, 17 Apr 2004 05:44:10 +0100, Dougal
> > > > > > > <nomoreamusingfakeemailaddresses@atj.pl> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >On Fri, 16 Apr 2004 21:39:19 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> > > > > > > ><Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >>>>>>>So what do you put your large breasts down pygthur?
> Beer?
> > > > > Chocolate?
> > > > > > > >>>>>>>Posting pygthur Usenet?
> > > > > > > >>>>>>
> > > > > > > >>>>>>The Miracle Bra.
> > > > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > > > >>>>>What size of bra?
> > > > > > > >>>>
> > > > > > > >>>>Two cups.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>>D-lightful.
> > > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > >>C-ertainly.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >B-have yourself.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A-lmost never.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Z-estfully clean!
> > > > >
> > > > > X-trawled in Harry!
> > > >
> > > > W-ow!
> > > >
> > > V-Henna - a city where a reddish brown hair dye is manufactured.
> >
> > U-nite for world peace!
> >
> I am U-Nanny-Mouse with you in that.
>
> (Cross between a female sheep, a female goat and a small rodent!)

Rodent: Tooth healer on a boat.

Lip Stick: Glues lips together.

Primitive: Low tech glove.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D89EB1.D429C484@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:48CB526F.C10BFC8F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Tue, 9 Nov 2004 00:27:53 -0000, "Raphael Kearns"
> > > > <raphael@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> found these unused words floating
about:
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > > >news:jX8gd.59654$i02.17236@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > >> CCTV: A channel than only shows gay programmes.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >GUMTV: A channel which outlines pitfalls of unprotected sex.
> > > > >
> > > > WEB-TV: Spidey's home!
> > >
> > > ABC: One apine TV network.
> > >
> > > BBC: Another apine network.
> > >
> > > CBS: Oceanic TV.
> > >
> > > ESPN: Telepathic TV.
> > >
> > > TNT: Dynamite TV.
> >
> > TNT is tri-nitro toluene which is stable enough to leave it as the pure
> > chemical in its crystalline state. You gotta wallop it really hard to
get it
> > to go bang and if you light it it just fizzles and burns slowly.
> >
> > Dynamite is nitro-glycerine made less unstable by having wood pulp,
chalk
> > etc mixed with it.
> >
> > Just found this:
> >
> > A high explosive, originally consisting of nitro-glycerine mixed with an
> > absorbent substance, now with ammonium nitrate usually replacing the
> > nitro-glycerine.
> >
> > You can buy ammonium nitrate as fertiliser, but they mix it with a nancy
> > oxidising agent soze it won't go off bang. Spoilsports!
>
> Can terrorists remove the nancy oxidising agent?
>
Probably not. I won't say how it could be done but it'd be very difficult
and time-consuming.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A51354.8878D016@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4254DFEE.27072734@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4253589E.AE640C0C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
> > > > > > news:425244B2.31775DB2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> message
> > > > > > > > news:424E6046.A49B075B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > shelly <scouvrette@bluemarble.net> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > >
> > news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.0410140948050.58891@tesla.bluemarble.net>...
> > > > > > > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vijaynats@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer!
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They
> think
> > > > having
> > > > > > all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their
>
> > wedding
> > > > > > tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky!
> > > > >
> > > > > Proximity: Glove near by.
> > > > >
> > > > Proximity Fuse: Glove exploding nearby. (Swunword.)
> > >
> > > Primitive: Low tech glove.
> > >
> > Gauntlet: A small Gaunt.
>
> Hamlet: Small pig meat.

Bullet: A small male bovine who goes BANG!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D89830.AF644BF9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:48CC6A8B.64670679@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Advertising: Singing commercials.
> > >
> > > Sponser: Knight of the advertising department.
> > >
> >
> > There are no knights in advertising departments. Just irritating little
gits
> > who write ads on the strange basis that you can get people to buy
products
> > and services by annoying them and/or treating them like little children.
>
> Over Knight: Knight who rules the darkness.
>
Dirty old sod he was. He used to go around medi?val nudist colonies looking
for damsels with a fleshlight!

 

235 days since 02/04/08.

 

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80 days since July 8.

 

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60 days to November 25.