Re: 03/04/05 Puns

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47A6C884.E0743F1B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 21:14:04 -0800, Larry Krzewinski
> > <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> found these unused words floating
about:
> >
> > >On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 21:02:57 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
> > >
> > >>>>>>>>I'm sure there are better ways pygthur smell fishy.
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>Bath in oil of anchovy?
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>>There you go. Then lay next pygthurr a salmon stream when the
grizzlies
> > >>>>>>are frisky.
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>>I can always count on you for bad advice. Thanks, Keith.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>The bears are happy.
> > >>>
> > >>>Maybe so but I'm having a hard time posting inside one's stomach.
> > >>
> > >>No one can read stuff posted there, anyway. Unless he brings a
> > >>flashlight, that is.
> > >
> > >Sure they can. It's called wireless networking. I need to find a way
> > >to get this bear to wander near an access point on a regular basis
> > >before it digests me completely. Let me borrow a pic-a-nic basket.
> > >
> > That would be a Boo-Boo.
>
> Booby: Ghost apine.
>
> Scooby: Canine apine who looks for ghosts.

Wooby Gone: Sad person who's not here.

How do you stop a sad horse?

Shout "Woe boy!"

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47A6CA97.43D7C8A8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Buffalo Chilkat <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > news:fujsrvoa1p9vaqgev3kva7l1843it24n6p@4ax.com...
> > > On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 17:51:51 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >nemo <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >news:ea8vb.51685$qu.43608@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > >>
> > > >> fredmiller@the.PC <fred609@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > > >> news:3361f1b9.0311192251.4d6cc77b@posting.google.com...
> > > >> > "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > > >> news:<3fbc2286$0$13673$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > > >> > > Kathy wrote:
> > > >> > > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >> > > > news:MCPub.27404$qu.7789@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > >> > > >>
> > > >> > > >> fredmiller@the.PC ?Z <FRED609@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > > >> > > >>
news:1660-3FBB0A8B-487@storefull-2375.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > > >> > > >>> nemo@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Old MacDonald was dyslexic - E O I O E
> > > >> > > >>> (Billy Colony)
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Silly burger!
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Nemo
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Silly AND stale old burger. You want flies with that ?
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >> Don't tell me they've started doing Eccles Cake Burgers!
> > > >> > > >>
> > > >> > > > Nah, they merely signed the Maggot ? laCarta.
> > > >> > >
> > > >> > > I larva pun like that!
> > > >> >
> > > >> > You'll outgrow it once you find your wings.
> > > >>
> > > >> Not if he drinks his ale late!
> > > >>
> > > >That obviously went over your heads. It would. It's the technical
term
> > for
> > > >wing-like and is used to describe winged insects such as queen and
drone
> > > >ants!
> > > >
> > > Hey Mr. High and Mighty. I have a Ph.D. in that bug stuff, so blow it
> > > out your ass.
> > >
> > You sure it ain't a Nh.D., nick?!
> >
> > And I haven't had mighty yet. It's still in the pot.
>
> Potting: Musical ceramic container.
>
> Potting: Musical majuana.

Potting Shed: Someone stripping off because they're highly stoned from too
much majuana.

> Plotting: Musical play.

No thanks. It'll be too damned loud just like all the others!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47A6CF07.79CE06A8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4254E04C.F2F31C2E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:42535904.110D9C8E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:42523F6A.E60030ED@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > > > > > > news:424D0708.FF9D1E49@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > An alcoholic got so bad he started seeing huge arses
sliding
> > up
> > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > down the
> > > > > > > > > > curtains - then all of a sudden his condition D.T. rear
> > rated!
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Do you have any proof?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Nope. No no more.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > As I've mentioned before, in the EEC we've abandoned the
Eric
> > Sykes
> > > > > > > > Scale
> > > > > > > > and we measure it instead by Alcohol % by Volume - meaning
that
> > the
> > > > > > > > more you
> > > > > > > > drink, the louder you get.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Demon Rum: Drunk demon.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > DUI: Demon who drives while drunk.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > DOA: A KKK member's portal and how a KKK cop's black prisoners
> > always
> > > > arrive
> > > > > > at the police station!
> > > > >
> > > > > DOA: Dead demon.
> > > > >
> > > > > DOA: Demon On Amphetamines.
> > > > >
> > > > To get stoned at the Coliseum, the Romans used to take
Amphitheatamines.
> > >
> > > DX/DY: Calculus demon.
> > >
> > DX? Morse for long distance? Ice up hose (brrr!) he had very bad B.O.
then.
>
> DT: Demon of Time.

DTI: Part of the Gittish Brovernment that looks after trade and industry and
is populated by drunk and stoned Civil Servants.

Servant: Formicida who's a waiter.

Waiter!!! What's this fly doing in my soup??

Drowning, sir.

It should have flown into his wine. At least it would have died happy!

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FAB4D72.BE55FBF9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FA7076C.2D65A43A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Proper: Price per unit of equipment needed for plays.
> > > >
> > > Properties: What the actors drink after the show, instead of the
> imitation
> > > stuff the pretend to drink on stage.
> >
> > Realties: True teas drunk by dealers in homes and the land under
said
> homes.
> >
> Casualties: Drunk while wearing informal clothes.
> Charities: Teas brought by a Char Lady.
> Empties: Teas with electromagnetic and magnetic screening to comply
with EEC
> regs.
> Novelties: Teas drunk while reading a good book.
> Pities: 3.141592654 of cups.

Faulties: Teas drunk by parachute jumpers.

Jumper: Price per jump.

 

Assemble: A donkey that looks like a male cow.

Assemble: To build a male cow.

Congest: Against jokes.

Conquest: Against adventures.

Digest: To kill a joke.

Ingest: Inside a joke.

Inquest: Inside an adventure.

Request: To go adventuring again.

Regi-Mental: Crazy soldiers.

 

"Elisabeth M?ller" wrote:

> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 08:33:26 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
>
> >Elisabeth M?ller wrote:
> >> On Sun, 18 Apr 2004 15:28:06 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >>
> >
> >>>>> <sigh> and only one bottle of wine in the pantry.
> >>>>
> >>>> What kind of stupid pantry is that?
> >>>
> >>> One with pygthurr much food in it.
> >>
> >> There isn't such a thing.
> >
> >There is if only one bottle of wine can fit.
>
> One point for Mos.

Apport: One wine bottle.

Porting: Musical wine.

Teleport: Give directions to wine.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45CBF52A.5D9C0D8B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4189B2E8.C81764DB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Michael Balarama" <mbalar@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > > > > news:10ktmibb1ahmgc8@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next to me..was
> a
> > > > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
> > > > >
> > > > > I presume that they volted as soon as the service was over and went
> ohm.
> > > >
> > > > Re-Volt!
> > >
> > > Electrician called Stanislav: Pole Volt.
> >
> > Pole Volt: Electric Santa Claus.
> >
>
> Voltiac Cell: Where they lock up criminal electric Tibetan ox things.

How nature talks to you: Via the Echo-system.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40EB9186.1FA21CEA@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40E90051.3F97FDB5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4041E45F.FE7DDE65@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Beechwood: Sandy trees.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Box Elder: What they made gramps casket out of.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Karl Marx Roses: First Red Roses.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Redwood: Very tall trees much loved by environmentalists.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Readwood: A book.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Statice: Very high ranking flowers.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sycamore: Don't want another bite.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sycamore: What Valerie Harper said about reuniting with Mary
> Tyler
> > > > > > Moore.
> > > > >
> > > > > Hornbeam: Wife's expression when she sees the results of her husband
> > > taking
> > > > > Viagra!
> > > >
> > > > Hawthorne: Laughing prickly plants.
> > > >
> > > > Mulberry: A berry on which kids see all sorts of weird animals.
> > >
> > > I hope the Germans harbour no grudges about Mulberry.
> > >
> > > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulberry_Harbour
> > >
> > > (I've put the URL beak horse if the film about capturing the Enigma
> machine
> > > is anything to go by, most of you yEncs probably think you invented this
> > > too!)
> >
> > Enigma: Mysterious female parent.
> >
> Good comedy, that film - especially the guy smoking inside the submarine!
> Ever seen a hydrogen explosion?
>
> And the way they took their time in spite of the fact that the German crew
> might have set time-fuses on a torpedo or two to scuttle the boat!
>
> Solid-fuel container at the bottom of the sea: Coal scuttle.

VW Bug: German vampire insect car.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:420B17A5.4347F348@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "fredmiller@the.PC" wrote:
> >
> > > Remembering this from one of the first Mad Magazines ever published :
> > >
> > > His name was his trademark, and his trademark was his name. And that
> > > was his name ~ Mark Trade !
> >
> > How Maddening!
> >
> Yeah. Like that damned composer with a Handel to his name.

Composer: Computer poet.

Decomposer: Demonic computer poet.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47AFE7C6.9220EF0E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:420B17A5.4347F348@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > "fredmiller@the.PC" wrote:
> > >
> > > > Remembering this from one of the first Mad Magazines ever published
:
> > > >
> > > > His name was his trademark, and his trademark was his name. And that
> > > > was his name ~ Mark Trade !
> > >
> > > How Maddening!
> > >
> > Yeah. Like that damned composer with a Handel to his name.
>
> Composer: Computer poet.
>
> Decomposer: Demonic computer poet.

2/10 Puns?

Anything to do with 2/10 khamun and his wife Sarah Cophagus?

 

mike wheeEler wrote:

> In article <3361f1b9.0311090828.5edf5751@posting.google.com>,
> fred609@webtv.net, fredmiller@the.PC was looking at the world oddly when:
> >
> >wheeEler@tns.net (mike wheeEler) wrote in message
> news:<3fae06a4_4@127.0.0.1>...
> >> In article <UIfrb.35203$Ou6.32444@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >mike wheeEler <wheeEler@tns.net> wrote in message
> >> >news:3fad0a0c_5@127.0.0.1...
> >> >> In article <giLqb.17425$Ou6.16443@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >> >
> >> >> >
> >> >> >mike wheeEler <wheeEler@tns.net> wrote in message
> >> >> >news:3fab29e3_5@127.0.0.1...
> >> >> >> In article <A3zqb.13848$Ou6.7423@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >mike wheeEler <wheeEler@tns.net> wrote in message
> >> >> >> >news:3fa9bdc0_3@127.0.0.1...
> >> >> >> >> In article <c4bqb.1498$Ou6.17@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> >> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >fredmiller@the.PC <fred609@webtv.net> wrote in message
> >> >> >> >> >news:3361f1b9.0311042051.77694287@posting.google.com...
> >> >> >> >> >> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> >> news:<m%Upb.1355$_f4.1110@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> >> >> >> >> >> > Buffalo Chilkat <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message
> >> >> >> >> >> > news:b39eqvsloqtcjg98s8350cl6afr0o18lcb@4ax.com...
> >> >> >> >> >> > >
> >> >> >> >> >> > > Man with butterflies in stomach leave caterpillars in
> >> outhouse.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Sailor with stones in kidneys leave rocks in Head.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Billboard MagazineHead line :
> >> >> >> >> >> HEADBANGERS ALERT !
> >> >> >> >> >> Rolling Stones to Rock Kidney, Australia
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >Rolling Stones: The worst pain known to medical silence!
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> It's your Jewel of d'Nile... next week is Ruby Tuesday..
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >What a giveaway!! Have you got the set of her and another model in a
> >> library
> >> >> >> >;o)!!! Oops! There's another giveaway!
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >Ruby Tuesday?? Is that when somebody rubs her up the wrong way? -
> >> Probably
> >> >> >> >Melon-knee!
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> Just a melon collie Monday was spicey...
> >> >> >> You were thinking
> >> >> >> John Cougar Melon knee and camp..
> >> >> >
> >> >> >He had a very strange fetish. Saw him mountain lion once!
> >> >> >
> >> >> You jogged my memory...
> >> >> That bit about Monday was actually by the BangGirls..
> >> >
> >> >Not BangGirls, Boar-balls and Beads?
> >> >
> >> Them other ones will tell you that they want, what they really realy want..
> >> is your balls..
> >
> >Not a problem. I can give them the sac !
>
> I think he is cheating.
> I can tell because I saw him walk like he jipped them.

Cheating: Bell that commits adultry.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45CBF9F3.B00B6123@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42EFF503.AD7F4EA6@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Sat, 17 Apr 2004 12:19:43 GMT was a day just like any other,
> > > > until maelmill@eunet.at (Elisabeth M?ller) wrote:
> > > > >On Mon, 12 Apr 2004 03:02:48 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > >>Sun, 11 Apr 2004 19:38:30 GMT was a day just like any other,
> > > > >>until maelmill@eunet.at (Elisabeth M?ller) wrote:
> > > > >>>On Sat, 10 Apr 2004 02:58:44 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com>
> wrote:
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>>>Mon, 05 Apr 2004 22:18:02 GMT was a day just like any other,
> > > > >>>>until maelmill@eunet.at (Elisabeth M?ller) wrote:
> > > > >>>>>On Sun, 04 Apr 2004 03:51:50 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com>
> > > > wrote:
> > > > >>>>>>
> > > > >>>>>>We don't have pygthur do anything, the spotlight naturally
> shines
> > > > >>>>>>on the star.
> > > > >>>>>
> > > > >>>>>Are you sirius?
> > > > >>>>
> > > > >>>>You're dog-gone right!
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>>woof!
> > > > >>
> > > > >>RUFF! BARK!!!
> > > > >>
> > > > >><lifts leg>
> > > > >>
> > > > >><splash>
> > > > >
> > > > ><sniff>
> > > > >
> > > > >You marked your border.
> > > >
> > > > Looker: Toilet dog.
> > >
> > > RUFF! FANCY COLLAR!!
> > >
> > > Damn. It'll take ages to get the dog's wee wee out of this!
> >
> > Take him to the K-9 clinic!
> >
> > Clin Nick: Where Santa gets medical care.
>
> Except his insurance doesn't provide cover if he goes mad, because there
> ain't no Sanity Clause!
> (Marx Bros.)
>
> (OT) From another group:
>
> A dignitary is being shown around a hospital.
>
> She spots a patient masturbating like mad and says to the Matron, "That's
> disgusting. Why is he allowed to do that?"
>
> The Matron replies, "For purely medical reasons. He has a condition whereby
> if he doesn't do that ten times a day, his testes will burst."
>
> "Fair enough" says the dignitary.
>
> A few minutes later they come to another patient, groaning in ecstasy while
> a beautiful nurse performs oral sex on him. The dignitary says, "That's
> absolutely disgusting - far worse than before?"
>
> The matron replies, "Well again, it's quite necessary. This man has the same
> condition. The only difference is that he has much more expensive health
> insurance!"

How much would it cost to have someone engaging in vaginal sex with the patient?

 

10 x 12 days to Flag Day.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433F03FD.6206823@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42A7EC1C.EB6FC3B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > > > news:4232784A.8EF52152@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > "Michael Balarama" originally wrote ...
> > > > > > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next
to
> me..was
> > > a
> > > > > > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > However, one later told me *he* was amazed at the power of
your
> awe,
> > > > > mighty!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > How stimulating!
> > > > >
> > > > > Operation Ore: A Savage attack on Iraq's p?dophiles!
> > > >
> > > > Or an attack against boat paddles.
> > > >
> > > Oar knot! - Something achieved by Popeye after a large tin of
spinach.
> >
> > Popeye: Father of a seeing organ.
>
> Bluto: Big bullying Ancient Briton who used to just dip his foot-digit
in
> because he knew it was dangerous to stand in the middle of the woad.

Pluto: Very cold canine foot digit at the edge of the solar system.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:432A39E0.9D46F512@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Stan Kegel wrote:
> >
> > > "Puns of the Weak" for the week ending 10/20/00
> >
> > >
> > > The nation is at a crossroads and the stakes are high as vampires across
> > > America prepare to vote. Polls indicate that vampires overwhelmingly
> > > favor Gore. (Tim Bruening)
> > >
> > > Whereas all prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone favor
> > > the other candidate. (Henry Link)
> >
> > Why would prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone favor
> > George W Bush?
> >
> > Rest of puns laughed off the stage.
>
> Did you see Dubbaya's climb-down -type reputation salvaging operation on TV
> earlier. Some people admit their mistakes because it's the proper thing to
> do. Other alleged people think of votes!!
>
> Still - if he does as he says, a lot of people will benefit - except for the
> dead ones of course - killed because for years, warnings about the
> inadequacies of the flood defences were ignored!
>
> Laugh that off, Dubbaya!

Cat Trina: Its really raining cats!

L Nino: Storm of Ls.

R. Gentina: South American robot.

S. Stonia: Rock in the Baltics.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43C9BC7B.1F87DEE5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > > Pam Shorey wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Puns of the Weak" for the week ending 10/20/00
> > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The nation is at a crossroads and the stakes are high as vampires
> across
> > > > > > America prepare to vote. Polls indicate that vampires
> overwhelmingly
> > > > > > favor Gore. (Tim Bruening)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Whereas all prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone
> favor
> > > > > > the other candidate. (Henry Link)
> > > > >
> > > > > Why would prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone favor
> > > > > George W Bush?
> > > >
> > > > Because they're personal friends? (all Bush league)
> > >
> > > Speaking of Bush League, I understand that minor league players are
> > > overwhelmingly for Bush.
> >
> > So are primitive tribesmen in Africa.
>
> Like the ones who keep hurting their feet by stepping on sharp thorns? The
> Waaaaa Tootsies!

Tecton-Nick: A shaking man.

Seis Mick: Another shaking man.

Ann Other: Alien woman.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45BEDA05.ED0A2494@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:428B2719.229C15F7@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4283C0BF.59F3ECB8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Diabetes: That baseball team has sworn they'll either diabetes.
> > > (Helen
> > > > > Hoke)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > That pun went right over my head and out of the park. Could you
> > > please
> > > > > > explain it to me?
> > > > >
> > > > > It's a choice between death or telecomms terminal blocks in BT or
> > > military
> > > > > jargon: Die or BTs!
> > > >
> > > > BD: Apine demon.
> > > >
> > > > Bedevil: Apine in Hell.
> > > >
> > > Or what Dracular gets up to with a young lady between the sheets!
> >
> > EEG: Goblin brain waves.
> >
> > Bullfrog G: Amphibian music.
>
> Did he also wear a flogged frog dog bog cog fog agog hog jog log mog tog
> while he was playing?

Yes, on his nog.

 

Administer: Hire another minister.

Administer: Spinning bureaucrats.

Administering: Ring used by bosses.

Minister: Small spinning objects.

Ministering: Ring worn by religious leaders.

 

Trasher: Knight of garbage.

Waster: Spinning garbage.

Webber: Spinning former Kings basketball player.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419F0046.2A560718@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4118713D.24387321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 08:14:39 +0000
> > > > > SFA <bat_outa_hell@velo.com> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Cybe R. Wizard typed::
> > > > > > > On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 02:57:38 GMT
> > > > > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >>On 26 Jan 2004 02:21:13 GMT
> > > > > > >>johnnaishwerner@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) wrote:
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>>Did you hear about the furniture maker who sent his
daughter to
> > > > > > >>>finishing school?
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>He was hoping she would varnish for good.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > He never expected that she'd lacquer requirements, even
though
> her
> > > > > > > name was Lindsey Doyle. Plus, at her interview, she
rubbed the
> > > > > > > board wrong, a permanent stain on the family name.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Better stop before you go completely against the grain,
Cybe.
> > > > >
> > > > > > SFA.
> > > > >
> > > > > Greetings and salutations! Did you come to steel? Wool you
stay?
> > > >
> > > > Steel Wool: Comes from iron sheep.
> > >
> > > And a mixture of aluminum powder and iron oxide comes from Thermit
the
> Frog!
> >
> > Thermit: A hot glove.
>
> Thermic Lance: Held in a Knight's hot glove.
>
> Glove that's thin from disease, hunger or cold: Gauntlet.

Bathroom glove: Toilet.

Tree gloves: Branchlet and leaflet.



nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F552CB2.C95A4912@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > D. Capitated: A headless demon.
> >
> > D. Mented: A demon that loves to drive others crazy
> >
> > D. Vorak: A musical demon
> >
> > D. Lirious: A dizzy demon
> >
> > D. Cent: A nice, one penny demon.
>
> D. Plomer: A well qualified person.

D-plomacy: Demon good at negotiating.