Re: 03/04/05 Puns

350 days since August 11.

 

360 days since August 1.

 

55 days since June 1.

 

60 days since May 27.

 

60 days to September 24.

 

70 days since May 17.

 

75 days since May 12.

 

80 days to October 14.

 

90 days since April 27.

 

125 days to November 28.

 

135 days since March 13.

 

145 days since March 3.

 

165 days since Lincoln's birthday on February 12.

 

225 days since December 14.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:488575D2.99F17504@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Chattering: Ring that talks as much as the donkey on Shrek.
>
> Donkey: Unlocks the Mafia.
>
> Monkey: Unlocks a monastery.

Then gets knocked off its feet by a bundle of washing thrown out of the
monastery laundry. Force of habit!

> Turkey: Unlocks Thanksgiving.

That's when the blind turkey farmer goes up to his turkeys with an axe in
his hand and they all start going "Moooooo!"

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4885758B.DCEC4C82@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:40E90051.3F97FDB5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4041E45F.FE7DDE65@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Beechwood: Sandy trees.
> > > > >
> > > > > Box Elder: What they made gramps casket out of.
> > > > >
> > > > > Karl Marx Roses: First Red Roses.
> > > > >
> > > > > Redwood: Very tall trees much loved by environmentalists.
> > > > >
> > > > > Readwood: A book.
> > > > >
> > > > > Statice: Very high ranking flowers.
> > > > >
> > > > > Sycamore: Don't want another bite.
> > > > >
> > > > > Sycamore: What Valerie Harper said about reuniting with Mary
Tyler
> > > > > Moore.
> > > >
> > > > Hornbeam: Wife's expression when she sees the results of her husband
> > taking
> > > > Viagra!
> > >
> > > Hawthorne: Laughing prickly plants.
> > >
> > > Mulberry: A berry on which kids see all sorts of weird animals.
> >
> > I hope the Germans harbour no grudges about Mulberry.
> >
> > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulberry_Harbour
> >
> > (I've put the URL beak horse if the film about capturing the Enigma
machine
> > is anything to go by, most of you yEncs probably think you invented this
> > too!)
>
> Enigma: Mysterious female parent.

Pair rent: Money paid to couples for fostering kids.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48857603.8A50D5AE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:422822C4.2B6C36B1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Greg Evans <gregIGNOREevans@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote in message
> > > > news:10b3p6sgoo3d82e@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > > Dougal wrote:
> > > > > > Greg Evans wrote:
> > > > > >> Dougal wrote:
> > > > > >>> Greg Evans wrote:
> > > > > >>>> Alan wrote:
> > > > > >>>>
> > > > > >>>>>> Can you give a brief report?
> > > > > >>>>> Bang.
> > > > > >>>> There goes Alan, shooting off his mouth again with his
> > low-caliber
> > > > > >>>> comments!
> > > > > >>> Careful, or he will rifle through your house.
> > > > > >> That's fine; I live in a shotgun shack!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > It's double barelled?
> > > > >
> > > > > Let's just say I've got a couple hammers on the back porch. And
the
> > dog's
> > > > > names are Trigger 1 and Trigger 2.
> > > > >
> > > > Purdy: Price of a high-quality shotgun.
> > >
> > > Shotgun Wedding: When NRA members get married.
> >
> > Shadkhen Wedding: A traditional frummer Yiddisher khasene.
>
> Mercury: Ocean of Indian dishes.

Quick, Silver! Head for the coast at a Raita knots! I'm dying for a
Vindaloo!

 

9 cubed days since the birth of my nephew Noah.

 

140 days to December 14.

 

170 days to January 13.