Re: 03/04/05 Puns

210 days since my stepdad's 80th birthday.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41119239.5A4C170A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4041E4F5.A6D75483@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > I don't look forward to swimming in a Liverpool.
> > >
> > > I'm quite symp-hepatic to that idea.
> > > >
> > > > I think that our nation is losing its Seoul in the fight against
> > > > terrorism.
> > >
> > > IRAte that a rather pessimistic pun.
> >
> > Berate: Price of a pollination.
> >
> > Irate: Internet price.
> >
> > Pollination: Nation of flower sex.
>
> Pollination: Country full of parrots.

Cracker: A splitting dog.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:487AFB40.B80FBC20@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41119239.5A4C170A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4041E4F5.A6D75483@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > I don't look forward to swimming in a Liverpool.
> > > >
> > > > I'm quite symp-hepatic to that idea.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think that our nation is losing its Seoul in the fight against
> > > > > terrorism.
> > > >
> > > > IRAte that a rather pessimistic pun.
> > >
> > > Berate: Price of a pollination.
> > >
> > > Irate: Internet price.
> > >
> > > Pollination: Nation of flower sex.
> >
> > Pollination: Country full of parrots.
>
> Cracker: A splitting dog.

Well don't forget - in public parks etc. there are always special bins for
the middle parts of the canine corpses at least.

The bins have "Dog Waists Only" written on them.

 

120 days since March 19.

 

310 days since 9/11.

 

Alan wrote:

> On Wed, 14 Jul 2004 12:15:20 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>
> >On 14 Jul 2004 03:52:14 -0500, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> ><tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
>
> >>I used to have a darkroom too. But when I stopped taking porn pictures,
> >>I could just take them to the drugstore for developing.
> >
> >With a digital camera and a good color printer that's no longer a
> >problem.
>
> Not a problem, but much more expensive. If not, I'd love to know
> your source of paper and ink cartridges.

Cartridge: A vehicle on a ledge.

 

Terry Jones wrote:

> >> And this has upset almost everyone in the county causing a big
uproar.
> >>
> >> I'm going on a TIREade against it all....
> >
> >I wouldn't want to drink any tireade... yuck!
>
> I get tired without any aid at all.

Tire Ring: Ring that wears you out.

Wear Ring: Ring that makes you look clothed, but exhausts you.

Cryptic: A secret parasite.

 

Laden: Loaded home.

Lambent: Crooked sheep.

Lanker: Local Area Network dog.

Lanking: Local Area Network king.

Lanky: Key to a Local Area Network.

 

Latent: Sex in a tent.

Lately: Tardy (Tar-D) Korean.

Latex: Texans having sex.

Leaky: Key that lets water in.

Lemma: Mother of a lemming.

 

nemo wrote:

> Coping: Several people jointly trying to attract attention on the
Internet.
>
> Beekeeping: Bird with a bell in its mouth.
> Bumping: Bird with a bell up its arse!
> Burping: Bell with rough edges.
> Chipping: Rings when the French Fries are done.
> Copping: Bell on old-fashioned police cars.
> Damping: Sounds the alarm when the water level gets too high.
> Doping: Rings when the bread's cooked.
> Dumping: Bell with no clapper.
> Galloping: Rings when the hanged man has finshed dying! (
> Gulping: Rings just before you get shat on by a sea bird.

Burping: Cold bell.

Doping: Rings when the crack cocaine is done.

Dumping: Stupid bell.

Galloping: Bell that rings when pollsters approach.

Approaching: Song of coming closer.

Departing: Bell of moving away.

Mulling: Chinese thinking it over.

 

Crescent: Penny on the Moon.

Decent: Nice penny.

Dissent: Rebel penny.

Peasent: Penny on a farm.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44BB4F12.5BB2CCE9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > startum wrote:
> >
> > > "Harry Marmoset" <harry_marmoset@msn.com> wrote in message
> > > news:Xns953C5887CD548harrymarmosetmsncom@209.25.157.130...
> > > > Hear about the hand gun exhibitionist?
> > > >
> > > > He was showing everyone his Glock
> > >
> > > And now he is securely glocked up.
> >
> > After going off half cocked.
> >
> > Half-Cocked: Premature ejaculation.
> >
>
> E-jack you late, you know, peacocks?

Ejaculate: Computer sex.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44BCE61D.FCC8E6EE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:425244B2.31775DB2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:424E6046.A49B075B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > shelly <scouvrette@bluemarble.net> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.0410140948050.58891@tesla.bluemarble.net>...
> > > > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vijaynats@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package.
> > > > >
> > > > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day!
> > > >
> > > > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools.
> > > >
> > > Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They think
> having
> > > all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their wedding
> > > tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky!
> >
> > Proximity: Glove near by.
> >
> > DSL: A demon on the Internet.
>
> DSL in gin: He's fell into a vat of spirit flavoured with juniper berries
> and turned into a power until for a motor vehicle.

Broadband: Group of musical women.

 

280 days to April 23.

 

200 days to February 3.

 

25 days to August 12.

 

250 days to March 25.

 

260 days to April 4.

 

75 days since May 4.

 

100 days to October 28.