Re: 03/04/05 Puns

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41ECA4CF.AFB9987B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B97096.66D91D8E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Fragmit: A glove in pieces.
> > > >
> > > Fragment: Cement after a hammer-blow.
> > >
> > > Fragmentation Grenade: Designed to blow Indians to bits. (Noah
Fence)
> > >
> > > Mills Bomb: What finally blew up a well-known Brit actor who did a
huge
> > > number of excellent war films.
> >
> > Beamit: Buzzing glove, or a transporter glove.
>
> Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the
word
> Beamit.
>
> Perhaps you meant:
> bemist (found in 5 dictionaries)
> barite (found in 20 dictionaries)
> batumi (found in 7 dictionaries)
> binate (found in 16 dictionaries)
> bitmap (found in 26 dictionaries)
> bimetal (found in 12 dictionaries)
> baited (found in 7 dictionaries)
> beattie (found in 5 dictionaries)
> betime (found in 4 dictionaries)
> baiter (found in 5 dictionaries)
>
> Barite: The vertical dimension of a nudist.
>
> Batumi: Sheep's abdomen.

Bemist: Apine fog.

Betime: Apine clock.

Commentator: Non royal mountain that reads the evening news.

Dictator: Mountain that gives orders.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4772144A.16A77055@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41ECA4CF.AFB9987B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:40B97096.66D91D8E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Fragmit: A glove in pieces.
> > > > >
> > > > Fragment: Cement after a hammer-blow.
> > > >
> > > > Fragmentation Grenade: Designed to blow Indians to bits. (Noah
> Fence)
> > > >
> > > > Mills Bomb: What finally blew up a well-known Brit actor who did a
> huge
> > > > number of excellent war films.
> > >
> > > Beamit: Buzzing glove, or a transporter glove.
> >
> > Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the
> word
> > Beamit.
> >
> > Perhaps you meant:
> > bemist (found in 5 dictionaries)
> > barite (found in 20 dictionaries)
> > batumi (found in 7 dictionaries)
> > binate (found in 16 dictionaries)
> > bitmap (found in 26 dictionaries)
> > bimetal (found in 12 dictionaries)
> > baited (found in 7 dictionaries)
> > beattie (found in 5 dictionaries)
> > betime (found in 4 dictionaries)
> > baiter (found in 5 dictionaries)
> >
> > Barite: The vertical dimension of a nudist.
> >
> > Batumi: Sheep's abdomen.
>
> Bemist: Apine fog.
>
> Betime: Apine clock.
>
> Commentator: Non royal mountain that reads the evening news.

A strong apine that used to do the same: Richard Dimblebee.
>
> Dictator: Mountain that gives orders.

Narr. It's a despot with a dick the shape of a 'tater! That's probably why
he's got the inferiority complex that made him become a despot!

 

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:455ECACF.5FED75EA@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> ur_droll wrote:
>
> > "Wild Bill" <wb@utb.com> wrote in message
> > news:hn1m80193blh75jdcec183f8bvjpgumb9t@4ax.com...
> > : On Sun, 25 Apr 2004 12:25:41 +1200, "ur_droll"
<who.gives@fuck.co>
> > : wrote:
> > :
> > : >
> > : >"Wild Bill" <wb@utb.com> wrote in message
> > : >news:m4tl8011pdciih0775oftfd8m39r0t69if@4ax.com...
> > : >: On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 15:37:34 -0700, Tim Bruening
> > : >: <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > : >:
> > : >: >
> > : >: >
> > : >: >Wild Bill wrote:
> > : >: >
> > : >: >> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 15:08:20 -0700, Tim Bruening
> > : >: >> <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > : >: >>
> > : >: >> >Who is he?????????
> > : >: >>
> > : >: >> ME! Now fuck off.
> > : >: >
> > : >: >Why are you the greatest man ever? What have you
accomplished
> in
> > life?
> > : >:
> > : >: I got all usenet doing my bidding...
> > : >
> > : >
> > : >What?......... Everyone?....... Just how many people does it
take
> > : >to help you find yer balls?
> > : >
> > : The fact you have my balls on your mind is noted.
> >
> > Fuck off 'lamely'....... you already been "spanked" here.
> > No coming back for seconds with a different dress on.
>
> Lame Lee: A limping Korean.
>

Probably a refugee!

Refugee: Goblin on the run.

 

Intermission: Relations between churches.

 

The unknowable wrote:

> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> news_3Yb.87762$cL.45796@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:a69c46fe.0402160340.6ab13a91@posting.google.com...
> > > Commute: Silent computer.
> > >
> > > Compassion: Computer love.
> > >
> > > Comply: Wooden computer.
> > >
> > > Complex: Computer house.
> > >
> > > Ebay: Where computers can swim and fish E-fish-cent-lee.
> > >
> > > EC: Ocean of computers.
> > >
> > > Emotions: Computer feelings.
> > >
> > > Emotions: What happens during computer court proceedings.
> > >
> > > Irate: Price of Internet access.
> >
> > Bunch of idiots using linked computers: Nitwork.
> >
> RAM: Goat with a volatile memory.
>
> EPROM: Concert for junkies.
>
> BSOD: Curtain for Windows.
>
> Hardwear: Condom
>
> WinTel: Conned 'em.
>
> Intel inside: CPU in prison.
>
> Apple Mac: Raincoat for a fruit.
>
> USB: Small American honey maker.
>
> Defrag: Piece of cloth that can't hear.

CD: Ocean of electronic recording discs.

ABCD: One disc of buzzing insect recordings.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C.BE9C6586@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5CDBB.DD1D077F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top.
> > > >
> > > > Advert: Add the color green.
> > > >
> > > R. Gent: Inventor of the colour blue.
> > >
> > > R. Gent Tina: His wife and where they lived.
> >
> > Pun Gent: A man who makes obnoxious puns.
>
> Astringent: A man made entirely from thread.
>
> Detergent: A man who frightens everyone away.
>
> Fulgent: A man who's eaten too much.
>
> Effulgent: His wife, Ethel.
>
> Plangent: An architect.
>
> Semitangent: A man who's sunbathing but hasn't turned over yet.
>
> Tangent: A man who has.
>
> Tingent: A very crude male robot - like as what was in Over the
Rainbow.
>
> Urgent: Her husband.

Reagent: Chemical man.

Regent: The man returns for more.

 

Abbey Normal wrote:

> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> news:20050102181108.2f8883a4@WizardsTower...
> > On Sun, 2 Jan 2005 10:08:40 -0800
> > "Abbey Normal" <abbeyn@dontspame.com> wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> >> news:20050102064843.618838b8@WizardsTower...
> >> > On Sat, 1 Jan 2005 23:17:21 -0800
> >> > "Abbey Normal" <abbeyn@dontspame.com> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >>
> >> >> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> >> >> news:20050101225406.134b6e85@WizardsTower...
> >> >> > On Sat, 1 Jan 2005 19:06:00 -0800
> >> >> > "Abbey Normal" <abbeyn@dontspame.com> wrote:
> >> >> >
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> "J. A. Mc." <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >> >> >> news:v7get0lb7sc39fcao5p0l5el8f36iu5ajc@4ax.com...
> >> >> >> > On Sun, 2 Jan 2005 05:56:32 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> >> >> > <CorKa@optusnet.XCAPScom.au> found these unused words
floating
> >> >> >> > about:
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >>Michael Balarama wrote:
> >> >> >> >>> Happy Nude year everyone.....
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> I am making a clean breast of things in 2005!
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> > 'Cos Toomey malfunctioned?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> If timber fell into a lake and nobody was around, would it
make
> >> >a> >> sound?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> > Observation would be required to collapse the wave function.
> >> >> >
> >> >>
> >> >> You're mighty Schrodinger response. I'll bet you're feline quite

> >> >good> about it.
> >> >>
> >> > No, it's just a quark I have.
> >>
> >> It's time for me to muon to another thread
> >>
> > I thought I red 'shift' in your reply.
>
> Read my posts twice and you can spectra doppler fun.

Reddish: Rouge plate.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:432A39F0.D477378F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Robert Tanner wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:39F34899.60F73FFE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Pam Shorey wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > "Puns of the Weak" for the week ending 10/20/00
> > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The nation is at a crossroads and the stakes are high as
> vampires
> > > across
> > > > > > > America prepare to vote. Polls indicate that vampires
> > > overwhelmingly
> > > > > > > favor Gore. (Tim Bruening)
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Whereas all prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone
> > > favor
> > > > > > > the other candidate. (Henry Link)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Why would prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone
> favor
> > > > > > George W Bush?
> > > > >
> > > > > Because they're personal friends? (all Bush league)
> > > >
> > > > Speaking of Bush League, I understand that minor league players are
> > > > overwhelmingly for Bush.
> > > >
> > > Moses came upon a group of college students, burning an effigy of the
> > > Republican candidate, after that, he still talks of the Burning Bush.
> >
> > Vegetables are overwhelmingly for Nader. Their slogan is "Lettuce vote
> > for
> > Nader!".
>
> Nader was the bees' knees a few years ago. What went wrong. Did the oil
> companies realise that his ant-pollution stance would cost them money?!

Pollen Nate: Man who fertilizes flowers.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47848008.F34AEFA8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:432A39F0.D477378F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Robert Tanner wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:39F34899.60F73FFE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Pam Shorey wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "Puns of the Weak" for the week ending 10/20/00
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > The nation is at a crossroads and the stakes are high as
> > vampires
> > > > across
> > > > > > > > America prepare to vote. Polls indicate that vampires
> > > > overwhelmingly
> > > > > > > > favor Gore. (Tim Bruening)
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Whereas all prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon
Stone
> > > > favor
> > > > > > > > the other candidate. (Henry Link)
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Why would prostitutes, pimps, beer-drinkers, and Sharon Stone
> > favor
> > > > > > > George W Bush?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Because they're personal friends? (all Bush league)
> > > > >
> > > > > Speaking of Bush League, I understand that minor league players
are
> > > > > overwhelmingly for Bush.
> > > > >
> > > > Moses came upon a group of college students, burning an effigy of
the
> > > > Republican candidate, after that, he still talks of the Burning
Bush.
> > >
> > > Vegetables are overwhelmingly for Nader. Their slogan is "Lettuce
vote
> > > for
> > > Nader!".
> >
> > Nader was the bees' knees a few years ago. What went wrong. Did the oil
> > companies realise that his ant-pollution stance would cost them money?!
>
> Pollen Nate: Man who fertilizes flowers.

Patho Gens: Human beings who infect others.

 

Buffalo Chilkat wrote:

> Kathy wrote:
>
> >
> >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> >news:MCPub.27404$qu.7789@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >>
> >> fredmiller@the.PC ?Z <FRED609@webtv.net> wrote in message
> >> news:1660-3FBB0A8B-487@storefull-2375.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> >> > nemo@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
> >> >
> >> > Old MacDonald was dyslexic - E O I O E
> >> > (Billy Colony)
> >> >
> >> > Silly burger!
> >> >
> >> > Nemo
> >> >
> >> > Silly AND stale old burger. You want flies with that ?
> >> >
> >> Don't tell me they've started doing Eccles Cake Burgers!
> >>
> >Nah, they merely signed the Maggot ? laCarta.
>
> That was a real quiller.

Quell Ling: To put down a Chinese uprising.

 

300 days to Fall Of Berlin Wall day.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4788C109.70726B52@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
>
> > Kathy wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > >news:MCPub.27404$qu.7789@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >>
> > >> fredmiller@the.PC ?Z <FRED609@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > >> news:1660-3FBB0A8B-487@storefull-2375.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > >> > nemo@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
> > >> >
> > >> > Old MacDonald was dyslexic - E O I O E
> > >> > (Billy Colony)
> > >> >
> > >> > Silly burger!
> > >> >
> > >> > Nemo
> > >> >
> > >> > Silly AND stale old burger. You want flies with that ?
> > >> >
> > >> Don't tell me they've started doing Eccles Cake Burgers!
> > >>
> > >Nah, they merely signed the Maggot ? laCarta.
> >
> > That was a real quiller.
>
> Quell Ling: To put down a Chinese uprising.

Like the Boxer Rebellion which broke out after the government tried to
dictate to men which kind of underpants they should wear?

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C623.357A3A4C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Needle Telegraph: Tells Heroine addicts where to pick up their supplies.
> > >
> > > Mercury Telegraph: For sending very hot news!
> >
> > Saturn: Car that runs rings around the competitions.
> >
> > Mazda and Honda: Father cars.
> >
> > Sultry: Sexy tree.
> >
> > Sentra: One penny car.
>
> How to wake up GCHQ, MI5 etc. and then really piss them off:
>
> The red mercury ore known as Cinnabar is very plentiful in Spain.
>
> There. That should do it!!!

Why?

> Cinnabar: Combined pub and brothel.

Cinnabar: Association of lawyer hookers.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:428B16FD.1F051CC4@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Alan wrote:
> >
> > > On Mon, 10 May 2004 00:00:46 -0700, Tim Bruening
> > > <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Alan wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> On Sat, 08 May 2004 02:36:20 -0700, Tim Bruening
> > > >> <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > > >>
> > > >> >Turn me loose
> > > >>
> > > >> Is that you Fabian?
> > > >
> > > >Turn me loose
> > >
> > > I heard you the first time.
> >
> > Make a funnel to a tunnel.
> >
> > Let me fare through the air.
> >
> > Make me most like a ghost.
> >
> > Turn me loose against a goose.
>
> Will you be wearing gloves or will it be a barnacle fight?

Turn this ghost into toast!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:478C64A3.CDC24535@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4157C623.357A3A4C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Needle Telegraph: Tells Heroine addicts where to pick up their
supplies.
> > > >
> > > > Mercury Telegraph: For sending very hot news!
> > >
> > > Saturn: Car that runs rings around the competitions.
> > >
> > > Mazda and Honda: Father cars.
> > >
> > > Sultry: Sexy tree.
> > >
> > > Sentra: One penny car.
> >
> > How to wake up GCHQ, MI5 etc. and then really piss them off:
> >
> > The red mercury ore known as Cinnabar is very plentiful in Spain.
> >
> > There. That should do it!!!
>
> Why?
>
> > Cinnabar: Combined pub and brothel.
>
> Cinnabar: Association of lawyer hookers.

Quicksilver!

Diddlum! Diddlum! Diddlum-pum-pump!
Diddlum! Diddlum! Diddlum-pum-pump!
Diddlum! Diddlum! Diddlum-pum-pump!
Diddleummmmmmmmmmmmmm - dediddle-um-pum-pump!

A lash of fright, a doud of clust and a hearty hi-ho
silverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

The Loan
Arrangerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

(He worked for a credit company in his spare time.)

I just can't believe that intro nowadays!! Soooo corny!

 

20 days to Ash Wednesday.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317EA0A.32F62EA3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41D902E5.28E9BC79@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Panther Wyvern wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Did you know that Sweepea, the name of Popeye's adopted baby is
> > > > actually
> > > > > "Sweet P", short for "Sweet Potato"?
> > > > >
> > > > > Yep, when the child grew up, he was often heard to say the
> following,
> > > > "I yam
> > > > > what I yam... I'm a yam."
> > > >
> > > > Sweet P: Urine of a diabetic.
> > > >
> > > Ain't that the plant that Jesus brought back from the dead? Lathyrus
> > > Odoratus? Well, he would have stunk a bit by then, wooden tea?!
> >
> > Red Sea: Communist ocean.
> >
> A philosophical sea: Indian Notion.

Black Sea: Afro-American ocean.

 

195 days since 07/07/07.

 

200 days to 08/08/08.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478C7F25.EF56473D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:47898120.F6EA6847@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:41E60A8A.D09BB246@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > On 06 Jan 2004 21:27:19 GMT
> > > > > > > earlofduke2@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with
> > > chocolate?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I don't care, uh, Mel. I /do/ know that lobster bars
> > > shouldn't be
> > > > > > > thrown fast and straight.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sand Bar: Very gritty candy.
> > > > >
> > > > > Dogger Bank: Where canines keep their money.
> > > > >
> > > > > http://www.bartleby.com/65/do/DoggerBa.html
> > > > >
> > > > > "We've run aground!! Oh my cod!!"
> > > >
> > > > Soap Bar: Very clean candy, or alcohol vender, or jail, or lawyer
> > > group.
> > >
> > > A London Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with
> > > vice
> > > cases: Lincoln Sin.
> >
> > Do they drive Lincoln cars or play with Lincoln logs?
> >
> > > An Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with vice
> > > cases
> > > involving little spindley men from flying saucers: Grey Sin.
> >
> > How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons, etc...
> >
> OK. I give up. How *about* men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives,
> spoons, etc...

How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons, etc... as
opposed to merely men from flying saucers?