Don't Tread on Gays

ImWithStupid · Sep 9, 2010

* The big thing is to make this country, along with every other country in the world with a few exceptions, quit discriminating against people just because theyre gay. You dont have to agree with it, but they have a constitutional right to be gay. And thats what brings me into it. Barry Goldwater

Mr. Conservative [Goldwater] has found himself an unlikely new career: as a gay rights activist. While thats not his sole pursuit he returned to Capitol Hill yesterday to testify in favor of scenic overflights of the Grand Canyon in recent years hes championed homosexuals serving in the military and has worked locally to stop businesses in Phoenix from hiring [and firing] on the basis of sexual orientation.

You may not like this, but it wasnt a Left turn it was a Dont Tread On Me moment for gay people. It was a turn to Liberty & Justice for All. The Declaration of Independence says all men are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights Straight people seem to want the phrase to be slightly altered for gay people: among them are life, liberty OR the pursuit of happiness. You wanted to deny us even the 1[sup]st[/sup] Amendment right to meet to discuss the issue of our repression and seek to redress our grievances. In the 1950s a handful or two of gay men and woman in Chicago formed a group called the Friends of Dorothy to see about achieving our Constitutional Rights. When the police and FBI got wind of it, they searched high and low for Dorothy, to stop the menace. A million bucks, endless hours, for more than a year it was positively Obama-like to find Dorothy. Well, if you all have to ask who she is, were not telling.

Finally Goldwater said what we asked for full constitutional rights to be gay. Virtually no one knows he said it. (Psst, spread the word.) He spoke while Bowers v Hardwick was still the law of the land. This was a Supreme Court case handed down on July 1[sup]st[/sup], 1986, that basically said that all laws against gay people of any kind in any jurisdiction were perfectly constitutional because gay people were they didnt quite say what we were. But they said what we werent we were not allowed simple exercise of Constitutional rights like to have a beer in a bar of our choice, given liquor licenses and legal as such, without fear of the police coming in and raiding the place. But Goldwater spoke 25 years after the Big Gay Event. It was only in 2003 that the Supreme Court ruled, 5 4, in Lawrence v. Texas, that virtually no laws against gay people were Constitutional. Um, but, except, military, marriage and a few other minor things. This is the last hurdle, I suppose. That four justices would still deny gay folks our rights is bizarre to us. We dont care if you hate us, just dont tread on us, and well go live our own lives in our own ways. Still, you already seem to be fairly oblivious to our presence unless we tell. What do you think that guy handing out peanuts on Flight 45 to Chicago is? Hes a friend of Dorothy, almost certainly. Ditto the guy whos doing your wifes hair and drapes. The church organists are mostly gay, too, and they play well, no? Though let me reassure you, we have no more idea as to why were gay than you do, but we know we are from the moment we first had the inklings of puberty, just like when you discovered the opposite sex.

So what is all this about gay rights? No special rights for gays, right? Isnt that the motto of our nation? And the sweet part is, for you folks, straight people get to decide what may or may not be a right for a gay American to exercise, and where he or she might do so. Since gay people are a teensy tiny part of the nation, perhaps, what, 10,000,000, 15,000,000 to 25,000,000, we can never get the votes to pass laws for us, we rely on you (and the occasional riot.) And no one knows how many, no one counts. You couldnt come up with a count that was real if you tried. Please dont try, itll make us both nervous. Yet this tiny number, which is oddly a constant percentage in every culture on earth since time immemorial (thats why you can selectively quote ancient Scripture against us,) is a cause of great fear to you. And were not even invited into the councils where such decisions are made, lest we influence by promoting homosexuality. What a slogan we have: Young man, join us, be hated and scorned for the rest of your life, and live at the mercy of the breeders. Oh yes, what a great promotion for gayness that you think were doing. You seem to be quite fearful of it. But really, let my people go. Dont tread on us.

The Big Gay Event, the thing which led to all this ruckus over the past 40 years is the thing gay Americans celebrate in June. Its the purpose of all those parades that are never reported on TV, radio or in the newspapers, because you know, the leftist press is all in league with the homosexual lobby to do something to America. We cant figure out what youre talking about. Especially since not a one of you could come up with the name of a gay leader on par with say, Jesse or Sarah, Newt or Sharpton. There is no gay spokesperson for this nefarious gay lobby seeking the destruction of the Republic by making everyone gay or something. Were very TEA Party in that regard. No leader, no organization. We just sort of go door to door, picking up the sons (mostly) and daughters who you throw out as so much garbage while accusing us of being anti-family. Again, we really dont, we gay people, know what on earth youre talking about, so we muddle through.

Anyway, the ruckus, yes, back then, on a hot June night in 1969. The hippies were in wild abandon everywhere. We gays were hidden, as you requested we do. We went to our bars, in our neighborhood, which we owned and rented our homes in, and ran stores and businesses and professional practices and paid taxes and bought the newspapers and watched TV just like all Americans. Though we were hidden. But cops kept coming into these bars, and arresting everyone, and pulling them out into the street, and taking their picture, and later, the next day perhaps, calling their jobs, their families, their landlords, trying as best you could to destroy lives and men. The newspapers aided and abetted this jolly old time by publishing the pictures, names, addresses, work places of the arrested. You know, to discourage the others, I suppose. Well, to coin a phrase: Hows that working out for ya?

You see, that night, the day after Judy Garland died, the cops raided, as they did regularly, the Stonewall Inn. Next time youre in New York go see that bit of Americans fighting for rights tenaciously. Anyway, the cops began to bust heads. And they dragged the queers and faggots and nancies out into the street. And something magical happened. Those guys said, no, Dont Tread On Me. Leave Us Alone. Go Away. And the Riots started. Real live riots, like on TV. With burning cop cars, and cops on the run and beaten. Cops barricade in the bar set afire by the queers screaming Dont Tread On Us! A dozen cops sent to the hospital. Reinforcements called in. The angry T-party (you think teabagger is a bad word, wait till you find out what a T-party was. Ah, history; and irony.) gay folks came out of the houses they owned and paid taxes on and said Leave Them Alone. Yes, fags by the hundreds, thousands even, came out of the places where we went to hide but which you came into and caused grief. Something about Constitutional rights it was. Oh yes, we didnt have any, and you werent going to put up with any hope and change in that.

For three days and nights the most scorned minority on earth said Dont Tread On Me. Magically, the gay bar raids stopped. In 1970 the worlds first gay march took place in our neighborhood, the one we escaped to, but even there you wouldnt leave us alone. Until we knocked a few cops heads together. So you came repeatedly to pick on the sissies, just as you still want to do. And we said no, dont tread on us. You all come late to the party, my fellow Americans. Weve been fighting government oppression of the sort you cant imagine. And now, all over the world, even in Baghdad Im sure, are Gay Pride Marches. Dont Tread On Us in a thousand languages, by the same tiny minority, what, 5 or 6%, that exists over there. We can teach you about fighting oppressive regimes. You ought to try to organize a gay pride march in Teheran, we did.

So bad was it, this hate of us, and still is, as youll observe shortly in the comments section, where I urge your full blast assault on the . fill in your favorite word, spare not the rod on me. I heard sodimizer just the other day, hurled with a psychopathic malice. Quite amazing. Perhaps hell be topped here. I of course turned the other cheek, and as even the meek and scorned of this earth are to do by the command of Jesus, and said, well, yes, Ive heard that before. Thank you for your opinion. Then I went and helped the economy by buying something and paid some taxes so my government can fund the lawyers to draw the line in the sand here now, against the power of gay rights. We crazy, you tell us so, remember?

Yes, Dont Tread On Us. Had you left us alone in Greenwich Village, we might still be hidden. But no, you had to come and try to bust some heads. But really now, youve all got to get a grip. Some tiny percentage of the population is not going to wreck the place. Youve all done a fine job by yourselves with unwed mothers, abandoned babies, divorces, child abuse, wife abuse, abortion, and Lord knows what else. Hell, even the guys who gave us Sadism and Masochism were breeders. Oh yah, thats what we call you. Breeders. Cute, isnt it? We dont breed, this bothers you, youll have to figure that out for yourselves. Were just happy as can be. Why, we even got ourselves a National Gay Rodeo Association. Family fun for everyone, truly.

Meanwhile, over in San Francisco is this crazy hetero women named Nancy Pelosi. And from what I gather Republicans, TEA Party and Conservative people all over this land want to get rid of her. It just so happens, because you chased us into the corner over there, we make up about 1/3 of her constituents. And thus, and alas perhaps, youll need our help to get rid of her. Bummers, eh? Unintended consequences. Still, its your lucky day, sort of. Because the people you most revile in the world are the original T-party people. Folks so intent on freedom that we were willing to riot for a few days to stop the treading. Pelosi treads on you. So go ask the gays in her district for help in voting her out. Put your collective heads together and figure out a way to get a small group of people who love liberty (thats us gay people) join the larger forces who love liberty (thats you people) and get rid of the Pelosi, and Barney Frank, and the rest of the scoundrels. In fact, why dont you just listen to Barry Goldwater and give us our Constitutional Rights. Like to Freedom of Religion. And mine says I have the moral right to get married. And if my marriage is somehow a threat to yours, than yours is not on the Rock of God, but on some fragile sands. If scorning 5 or 6% of the population is the foundation of civilization, then were all in a lot more trouble than we realized. Jim Hlavac
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* source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/daily/may98/goldwater072894.htm

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