****CHECKOUT LANE GRIEVANCE! OUTRAGE! BOYCOTT KROGERS!!!******

OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
I digress.

Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And you
know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
"Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
Star magazine, right? I digress.

Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll be
damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.

So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."

So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
do. I bid you peace.

PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

On Jan 30, 2:57?am, Wavy G <godsspeciall...@gmail.com> wrote:
> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
> Kroger's shopping market. ?Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
> item only. ?I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
> I digress.
>
> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? ?You know the
> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
> be grammatically correct? ?What are we teaching our children?). ?And you
> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. ?And
> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
> Star magazine, right? ?I digress.
>
> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
> consumer." ?Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? ?So I
> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
> that there was only WON express lane! ?And it was closed!!! ?The sign
> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
> PAID to scan my groceries. ?I'm not! ?I'm paying you good money; I'll be
> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? ?THE ONLY
> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 ?I DON'T THINK SO.
>
> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. ?This is
> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>
> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
> into a situation. ?A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! ?Please, fellow countrymen,
> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. ?I'll put
> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
> do. ?I bid you peace.
>
> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>
> --
> Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
>
> *****************************************
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Wavy G ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? mail me at: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> * ? ?godsspeciall...@gmail.com ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> *****************************************



I'm with you Bro'. No more Kroger's for me.

F*** 'em.

 

Wavy G wrote:

> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided
> attention and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story:
> Today I went to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber"
> to fix my clogged toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much
> toilet paper and poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was
> that item, and that item only. I think I purchased the off-brand,
> but that's not the point. I digress.
>
> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer"
> would be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?).
> And you know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get
> in the express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady
> Who Lived in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those
> damn kids. And all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how
> about a pack of "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that
> latest issue of Star magazine, right? I digress.
>
> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful
> people at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty
> American consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12,
> right? So I go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes,
> only to discover that there was only WON express lane! And it was
> closed!!! The sign hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express
> Lane," but get this: It was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on
> account of the cashiers are PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm
> paying you good money; I'll be damned if I'm gonna do your job. So
> now what do I do??? THE ONLY FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING
> U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>
> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>
> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow
> countrymen, I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping
> market. I'll put these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if
> it's the last thing I do. I bid you peace.
>
> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!

We don't have Krogers here, so I'm willing and extremely able to join
your boycott.

--


. \
/| | , , __ __. _ .- , .
/ | ___ | / |' `. .' \ \,' | `
/__| ___\ |-< | | | | /\ | |
@@ e\ / / \_ / | `._.' / \ `---|.
@@@ { / \___/
@@.-<.-----__/
/ / ) )--./-/' knoxy
`.\) ( mhm34x10
.>) \ smeeter #6
/ \ #6 on mimus wanted poster list
/ | Best Newbie in alt.flame 2005
J | Snarky's Gutter Chix0rz #13
__`-._____/_\ ___________________________________________________
` made by VK knoxy@post.com

 

"knoxy" <knoxy@post.com> wrote in news:xn0flswqk22498u001
@nntp.motzarella.org:

> Wavy G wrote:
>

Goddam hardware nazis!


Thank you for the warning! I will buy my plumbing supplies and sex aids
elsewhere




Bertie

 

Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
news:nfi0q35nu208h11harn36ehq2op6mi1l44@4ax.com:

> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided
attention
> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my
clogged
> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
> item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the
point.
> I digress.

Why didn't you just unbend a wire hanger, shove it down the hole, and
wiggle it around for ten seconds? "Liquid Plumr" is for unclogged the
shower drain after your dumbass family members stop it up with butt hair.

> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
> be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And
you
> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
> Star magazine, right? I digress.

The express lane is quite often stalled by some old biddy who counts like
items as one, thereby reducing her cartload of 100 things to "just 9
things" because it's mostly cat food and adult diapers and other old lady
shit, and who insists on debating every single item on the receipt.

> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful
people
> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
> consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
> that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
> PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll
be
> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK
SO.

Yeah, but there's a fully paid (I presume) clerk who has to rush over
every five seconds and clear the stupid machine because it can't tell
that you scanned some large item and then put it directly into your cart
instead of putting it in the too-small "bagging area".

> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."

Now, now. Chatting it up with a clerk is probably her entire social
universe. You don't want her to keep it bottled up inside to the point
where she goes nuts and drives her car off a cliff do you? Of course
not. Those brats of hers have a bright future of delinquency ahead of
them, and they need a drunken, backwoods mother-from-hell to help them
realize it.

> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
> do. I bid you peace.

You don't boycott, you "go shopping" and then abandon your cart at the
checkout lane while you pretend to go retrieve a forgotten item. Not
that I would encourage, recommend or condone such ornery behavior.

> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!

/farts

 

On 30 Jan 2008 13:48:23 GMT
gregvk <greg@nospam.okthx> wasted precious bandwith with:

> Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
> news:nfi0q35nu208h11harn36ehq2op6mi1l44@4ax.com:
>
> > OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my
> > local Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's
> > undivided
> attention
> > and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today
> > I went to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to
> > fix my
> clogged
> > toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper
> > and poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that
> > item, and that item only. I think I purchased the off-brand,
> > but that's not the
> point.
> > I digress.
>
> Why didn't you just unbend a wire hanger, shove it down the hole,
> and wiggle it around for ten seconds? "Liquid Plumr" is for
> unclogged the shower drain after your dumbass family members stop
> it up with butt hair.
>
> > Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes
> > at Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You
> > know the wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side
> > note: Why is the expression "12 items or less," when actually,
> > "12 items or fewer" would be grammatically correct? What are we
> > teaching our children?). And
> you
> > know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in
> > the express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old
> > Lady Who Lived in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all
> > those damn kids. And all you really want is a case of beer...oh
> > and how about a pack of"Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and
> > perhaps that latest issue of Star magazine, right? I digress.
>
> The express lane is quite often stalled by some old biddy who
> counts like items as one, thereby reducing her cartload of 100
> things to "just 9 things" because it's mostly cat food and adult
> diapers and other old lady shit, and who insists on debating every
> single item on the receipt.
>
> > Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to
> > won of the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the
> > wonderful
> people
> > at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty
> > American consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than
> > 12, right? So I go to queue up in won of the so-called express
> > lanes, only to discover that there was only WON express lane!
> > And it was closed!!! The sign hanging over the contiguous lane
> > said "Express Lane," but get this: It was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse
> > to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are PAID to scan my
> > groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll
> be
> > damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE
> > ONLY FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I
> > DON'T THINK
> SO.
>
> Yeah, but there's a fully paid (I presume) clerk who has to rush
> over every five seconds and clear the stupid machine because it
> can't tell that you scanned some large item and then put it
> directly into your cart instead of putting it in the too-small
> "bagging area".
>
> > So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth
> > hillbilly woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening
> > to her ramble on in garbled English about whatever the hell
> > happened to be on her mind--which she apparently had no problem
> > with sharing with total strangers--as her children screamed and
> > tore magazines apart. This is how strongly I feel about not
> > using "U-SCAN."
>
> Now, now. Chatting it up with a clerk is probably her entire
> social universe. You don't want her to keep it bottled up inside
> to the point where she goes nuts and drives her car off a cliff do
> you? Of course not. Those brats of hers have a bright future of
> delinquency ahead of them, and they need a drunken, backwoods
> mother-from-hell to help them realize it.
>
> > So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's
> > customer put into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT!
> > Please, fellow countrymen, I need your help in boycotting the
> > Kroger's shopping market. I'll put these inconveniencing
> > tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I do. I bid you
> > peace.
>
> You don't boycott, you "go shopping" and then abandon your cart at
> the checkout lane while you pretend to go retrieve a forgotten
> item. Not that I would encourage, recommend or condone such
> ornery behavior.
>
> > PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>
> /farts


Your jealousy of Wavys INDOOR PLUMBING is noted and laughed at.

FYI

 

On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:15 -0500, Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com>
wrote:

>OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>poop down the hole at wonce),

I could not and would not read any further than this. I am very sorry.
I will try again later. Your posts bring me such joy.

Jade

 

Daedalus <jade@newtko0ouks.biz> wrote in
news:40d1q3tajgcgju1eggpr2n71vatc8of2pf@4ax.com:

> On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:15 -0500, Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>>OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>>Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>>and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>>to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>>toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>>poop down the hole at wonce),
>
> I could not and would not read any further than this. I am very sorry.
> I will try again later. Your posts bring me such joy.
>
> Jade
>

Thee there have a nice cup of tea and put your feet up for a while.


Bertie

 

On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:15 -0500, Wavy G wrote:

> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
> item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
> I digress.
>
> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
> be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And you
> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
> Star magazine, right? I digress.
>
> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
> consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
> that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
> PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll be
> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>
> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>
> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
> do. I bid you peace.
>
> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!

You ever hear of a plunger?

--
tinmimus99@hotmail.com

smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

All the scars and wrinkles on my face from doing stupid things
have given me an appearance of great wisdom.

< Red Green

 

Ya know, I find it ironic your gripe about 'grammatically
correct', considering some of your spelling. Not 'wonce', but several
times..........

On Jan 30, 3:57?am, Wavy G <godsspeciall...@gmail.com> wrote:
> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
> Kroger's shopping market. ?Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
> item only. ?I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
> I digress.
>
> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? ?You know the
> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
> be grammatically correct? ?What are we teaching our children?). ?And you
> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. ?And
> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
> Star magazine, right? ?I digress.
>
> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
> consumer." ?Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? ?So I
> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
> that there was only WON express lane! ?And it was closed!!! ?The sign
> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
> PAID to scan my groceries. ?I'm not! ?I'm paying you good money; I'll be
> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? ?THE ONLY
> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 ?I DON'T THINK SO.
>
> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. ?This is
> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>
> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
> into a situation. ?A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! ?Please, fellow countrymen,
> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. ?I'll put
> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
> do. ?I bid you peace.
>
> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>
> --
> Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
>
> *****************************************
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Wavy G ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? mail me at: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> * ? ?godsspeciall...@gmail.com ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
> *****************************************

 

Dear, "Mr.Smartypants": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( )
NO:

>On Jan 30, 2:57?am, Wavy G <godsspeciall...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>> Kroger's shopping market. ?Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>> item only. ?I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>> I digress.
>>
>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? ?You know the
>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>> be grammatically correct? ?What are we teaching our children?). ?And you
>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. ?And
>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>> Star magazine, right? ?I digress.
>>
>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>> consumer." ?Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? ?So I
>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>> that there was only WON express lane! ?And it was closed!!! ?The sign
>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>> PAID to scan my groceries. ?I'm not! ?I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? ?THE ONLY
>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 ?I DON'T THINK SO.
>>
>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. ?This is
>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>
>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>> into a situation. ?A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! ?Please, fellow countrymen,
>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. ?I'll put
>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>> do. ?I bid you peace.
>>
>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>>
>> --
>> Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
>>
>> *****************************************
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Wavy G ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? mail me at: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> * ? ?godsspeciall...@gmail.com ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> *****************************************
>
>
>
>I'm with you Bro'. No more Kroger's for me.
>
>F*** 'em.

Yeah! F them! Who else is with us? STRIKE! STRIKE!@ STROKE, I mean,
STRIKE, LOL!!!

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Dear, "mimus": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:

>On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:15 -0500, Wavy G wrote:
>
>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>> item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>> I digress.
>>
>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>> be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And you
>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>> Star magazine, right? I digress.
>>
>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>> consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>> that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>> PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>>
>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>
>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>> do. I bid you peace.
>>
>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>
>You ever hear of a plunger?

Yeah, but I would have had to go to Kroger's to buy won, so thge outcome
would have been the same. You're crushing my dreams, you fucking
BASHER!

Actually, the story is a fabrication. I just added the part about the
toilet clogging to be funny. I *did* have to go to Kroger's to purchase
Liquid Plumber, but it was to unclog a sink at work that wouldn't drain,
and entire shopping trip was a completely uneventful incident. It was
an entirely different shopping excursion when I got stuck behind an old
lady and had to use the express lane. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Dear, "frank": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:

>
> Ya know, I find it ironic your gripe about 'grammatically
>correct', considering some of your spelling. Not 'wonce', but several
>times..........

I'm trying to find the joke here, but I just don't see it. Somewon help
me out here.

>
>On Jan 30, 3:57?am, Wavy G <godsspeciall...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>> Kroger's shopping market. ?Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>> item only. ?I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>> I digress.
>>
>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? ?You know the
>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>> be grammatically correct? ?What are we teaching our children?). ?And you
>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. ?And
>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>> Star magazine, right? ?I digress.
>>
>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>> consumer." ?Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? ?So I
>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>> that there was only WON express lane! ?And it was closed!!! ?The sign
>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>> PAID to scan my groceries. ?I'm not! ?I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? ?THE ONLY
>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 ?I DON'T THINK SO.
>>
>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. ?This is
>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>
>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>> into a situation. ?A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! ?Please, fellow countrymen,
>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. ?I'll put
>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>> do. ?I bid you peace.
>>
>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>>
>> --
>> Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
>>
>> *****************************************
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Wavy G ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? mail me at: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> * ? ?godsspeciall...@gmail.com ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>> *****************************************

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Dear, "knoxy": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:

>Wavy G wrote:
>
>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided
>> attention and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story:
>> Today I went to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber"
>> to fix my clogged toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much
>> toilet paper and poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was
>> that item, and that item only. I think I purchased the off-brand,
>> but that's not the point. I digress.
>>
>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer"
>> would be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?).
>> And you know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get
>> in the express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady
>> Who Lived in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those
>> damn kids. And all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how
>> about a pack of "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that
>> latest issue of Star magazine, right? I digress.
>>
>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful
>> people at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty
>> American consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12,
>> right? So I go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes,
>> only to discover that there was only WON express lane! And it was
>> closed!!! The sign hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express
>> Lane," but get this: It was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on
>> account of the cashiers are PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm
>> paying you good money; I'll be damned if I'm gonna do your job. So
>> now what do I do??? THE ONLY FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING
>> U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>>
>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>
>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow
>> countrymen, I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping
>> market. I'll put these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if
>> it's the last thing I do. I bid you peace.
>>
>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>
>We don't have Krogers here, so I'm willing and extremely able to join
>your boycott.

Thank you for your support on this issue, Mimus. I'm sorry, Rocky...or
Trippy...Wait, which won are you again?

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:33:14 -0500, Wavy G wrote:

> Dear, "mimus": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>
>>On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:15 -0500, Wavy G wrote:
>>
>>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>>> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>>> item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>>> I digress.
>>>
>>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
>>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>>> be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And you
>>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
>>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>>> Star magazine, right? I digress.
>>>
>>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>>> consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
>>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>>> that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
>>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>>> PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
>>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>>>
>>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
>>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>>
>>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>>> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
>>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
>>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>>> do. I bid you peace.
>>>
>>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>>
>>You ever hear of a plunger?
>
> Yeah, but I would have had to go to Kroger's to buy won, so thge outcome
> would have been the same. You're crushing my dreams, you fucking
> BASHER!
>
> Actually, the story is a fabrication. I just added the part about the
> toilet clogging to be funny. I *did* have to go to Kroger's to purchase
> Liquid Plumber, but it was to unclog a sink at work that wouldn't drain,
> and entire shopping trip was a completely uneventful incident. It was
> an entirely different shopping excursion when I got stuck behind an old
> lady and had to use the express lane. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Artistic license. Go for it. Only the names have been changed to protect
us from having the guilty come down on us like a ton of libel lawyers.
Etc.

--
tinmimus99@hotmail.com

smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

You want a job and a lizard to ride?

< _The Einstein Intersection_

 

Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
news:stj1q35s8sotgi203mlnh5j2jh7jhm6spn@4ax.com:

[lies deleted]
>
> Actually, the story is a fabrication. I just added the part about the
> toilet clogging to be funny. I *did* have to go to Kroger's to
> purchase Liquid Plumber, but it was to unclog a sink at work that
> wouldn't drain, and entire shopping trip was a completely uneventful
> incident. It was an entirely different shopping excursion when I got
> stuck behind an old lady and had to use the express lane. I'm sorry.
> I'm so sorry.

Why, you goddamn lying sack of shit. I hope somebody flushes a potato down
your toilet and it clogs -hard- right when you need to take a great big
dump. You'll have to shit in the trash can and then your house will smell
like a zoo for the rest of the day.

 

On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:42:33 -0500, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com>
wrote:

>On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:33:14 -0500, Wavy G wrote:
>
>> Dear, "mimus": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>
>>>On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:15 -0500, Wavy G wrote:
>>>
>>>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>>>> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>>>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>>>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>>>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>>>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>>>> item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>>>> I digress.
>>>>
>>>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>>>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
>>>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>>>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>>>> be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And you
>>>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>>>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>>>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
>>>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>>>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>>>> Star magazine, right? I digress.
>>>>
>>>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>>>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>>>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>>>> consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
>>>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>>>> that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
>>>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>>>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>>>> PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>>>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
>>>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>>>>
>>>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>>>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>>>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>>>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>>>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
>>>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>>>
>>>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>>>> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
>>>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
>>>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>>>> do. I bid you peace.
>>>>
>>>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>>>
>>>You ever hear of a plunger?
>>
>> Yeah, but I would have had to go to Kroger's to buy won, so thge outcome
>> would have been the same. You're crushing my dreams, you fucking
>> BASHER!
>>
>> Actually, the story is a fabrication. I just added the part about the
>> toilet clogging to be funny. I *did* have to go to Kroger's to purchase
>> Liquid Plumber, but it was to unclog a sink at work that wouldn't drain,
>> and entire shopping trip was a completely uneventful incident. It was
>> an entirely different shopping excursion when I got stuck behind an old
>> lady and had to use the express lane. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
>
>Artistic license. Go for it. Only the names have been changed to protect
>us from having the guilty come down on us like a ton of libel lawyers.
>Etc.

troll

--
dave hillstrom mhm15x4 zrbj

<This space for rent.>

 

On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:54:51 -0500, Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com>
wrote:

>Dear, "Mr.Smartypants": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( )
>NO:
>
>>On Jan 30, 2:57?am, Wavy G <godsspeciall...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>>> Kroger's shopping market. ?Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>>> item only. ?I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>>> I digress.
>>>
>>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? ?You know the
>>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>>> be grammatically correct? ?What are we teaching our children?). ?And you
>>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. ?And
>>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>>> Star magazine, right? ?I digress.
>>>
>>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>>> consumer." ?Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? ?So I
>>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>>> that there was only WON express lane! ?And it was closed!!! ?The sign
>>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>>> PAID to scan my groceries. ?I'm not! ?I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? ?THE ONLY
>>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 ?I DON'T THINK SO.
>>>
>>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. ?This is
>>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>>
>>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>>> into a situation. ?A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! ?Please, fellow countrymen,
>>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. ?I'll put
>>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>>> do. ?I bid you peace.
>>>
>>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>>>
>>> --
>>> Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
>>>
>>> *****************************************
>>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Wavy G ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
>>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? mail me at: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>>> * ? ?godsspeciall...@gmail.com ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
>>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>>> * ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? *
>>> *****************************************
>>
>>
>>
>>I'm with you Bro'. No more Kroger's for me.
>>
>>F*** 'em.
>
>Yeah! F them! Who else is with us? STRIKE! STRIKE!@ STROKE, I mean,
>STRIKE, LOL!!!

i double dog dare you!

--
dave hillstrom mhm15x4 zrbj

<This space for rent.>

 

Dear, "gregvk": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:

>Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>news:stj1q35s8sotgi203mlnh5j2jh7jhm6spn@4ax.com:
>
>[lies deleted]
>>
>> Actually, the story is a fabrication. I just added the part about the
>> toilet clogging to be funny. I *did* have to go to Kroger's to
>> purchase Liquid Plumber, but it was to unclog a sink at work that
>> wouldn't drain, and entire shopping trip was a completely uneventful
>> incident. It was an entirely different shopping excursion when I got
>> stuck behind an old lady and had to use the express lane. I'm sorry.
>> I'm so sorry.
>
>Why, you goddamn lying sack of shit. I hope somebody flushes a potato down
>your toilet and it clogs -hard- right when you need to take a great big
>dump. You'll have to shit in the trash can and then your house will smell
>like a zoo for the rest of the day.

Oh, lord. I wonder how this guy would feel after finding out this is a
repost of an article I wrote five years ago. Sheesh.

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

On Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:50:49 -0500, Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com>
wrote:

>Dear, "gregvk": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>
>>Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>>news:stj1q35s8sotgi203mlnh5j2jh7jhm6spn@4ax.com:
>>
>>[lies deleted]
>>>
>>> Actually, the story is a fabrication. I just added the part about the
>>> toilet clogging to be funny. I *did* have to go to Kroger's to
>>> purchase Liquid Plumber, but it was to unclog a sink at work that
>>> wouldn't drain, and entire shopping trip was a completely uneventful
>>> incident. It was an entirely different shopping excursion when I got
>>> stuck behind an old lady and had to use the express lane. I'm sorry.
>>> I'm so sorry.
>>
>>Why, you goddamn lying sack of shit. I hope somebody flushes a potato down
>>your toilet and it clogs -hard- right when you need to take a great big
>>dump. You'll have to shit in the trash can and then your house will smell
>>like a zoo for the rest of the day.
>
>Oh, lord. I wonder how this guy would feel after finding out this is a
>repost of an article I wrote five years ago. Sheesh.

lozer.

--
dave hillstrom mhm15x4 zrbj

<This space for rent.>