Liken: Home of fibbers. Likeness: Friend to a Scottish monster. Lonely: The only Lee. Louden: Noisy home. Loudness: Noisy Scottish monster.
Pardon: Golfing Mafia boss. Parent: To borrow two or a pear. Parsing: Golfing songs. Parson: Golfing male offspring. Partake: To steal a golf course.
nemo wrote: > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:3FB47817.BD7FBC2A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > Target: Get more tar! > > > In a pitcher? Pitcher: Baseball Knight. Pennant: Ant champion. Champion: A winning subatomic particle.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4253589E.AE640C0C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:425244B2.31775DB2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > news:424E6046.A49B075B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > shelly <scouvrette@bluemarble.net> wrote in message > > > > > > news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.0410140948050.58891@tesla.bluemarble.net>... > > > > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vijaynats@yahoo.com> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens? > > > > > > > > > > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package. > > > > > > > > > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day! > > > > > > > > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools. > > > > > > > Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They think > having > > > all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their wedding > > > tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky! > > > > Proximity: Glove near by. > > > Proximity Fuse: Glove exploding nearby. (Swunword.) Primitive: Low tech glove. Rooster: Spinning kangaroo. Emu: Cow or cat on the Internet.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:425269A4.E798E1E1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:425247E1.45F30E07@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > > news:424CDE7F.11069146@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > Reality: Tea with no illusions. > > > > > > > > > > > > Steady: A constant demon. > > > > > > > > > > > > Study: Demon who learns. > > > > > > > > > > > > Study: Handsome male demon. > > > > > > > > > > > > Taser: Knight with a stun gun. > > > > > > > > > > Come up with something about somebody getting a Taser in the > arse > and > > > not > > > > > feeling it and you'll have a numb bum stun gun pun! > > > > > > > > Was this bum the one who tried to rescue Terri Schiavo? > > > > > > > I keep reading that name as Terri Sarajevo! Praps it was her who > started > > > WW1! She certainly started a legal war in the US. That's why . . . > > > > > > > . . . . wait for it . . . . > > > > > > A Ferdiniand is worth two in the Bush! > > > > > > http://www.onelook.com/?w=sarajevo&last=sarrayevo&loc=spell1 > > > > Sara Jevo: A Balkans woman. > > > What her Roman ancestor wore: Saratoga. Sara Bellum: Woman in the pre-Civil War South.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4508DEF0.F4BD36B7@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:44A78FCB.A3994DC4@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > news:44A628B4.62CAEF41@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > Acidity: Tea that dissolves. > > > > > > > > > > > > Atomicity: Nuclear tea or city. > > > > > > > > > > > > Batty: Tea that makes one an insane flying mammal. > > > > > > > > > > > > Bitty: Tea of small computer files. > > > > > > > > > > > > Catty: Feline tea. > > > > > > > > > > Catty Meringue: Twin-hulled maliciously sarcastic confection made of > > > baked > > > > > egg white and sugar. > > > > > > > > Lemming Meringue Pie: Pie that commits suicide. > > > > > > Only if your oven is at the top of a cliff! > > > > > > Belly ache from eating far too many cakes made from baked egg white and > > > sugar: Meringitis. > > > > Hygien-Nick: A very clean man. > > > > Is he using HibiScrub - or the 1950s/60s version, HippyScrub? > > http://www.medisave.co.uk/hibiscrub-500ml-bottle-p-296.html > > Book Title: "Disease Outbreaks in Hospitals Caused by Mutated Bacteria" by > Emma Reece-Hay. > > I'm carrying it. Had to use Hibiscrub and a nose ointment before my various > vein operation. > > Because I'm in and out of hospital routinely for blood tests and things, > I'll carry on using these, although most people say I have enough nose > ointment already! Epide-Mick: Irishman who spreads disease.
Protest: In favor of exams. Protestant: Non-Catholic ant. Proto: In favor of the digits at the ends of feet. Prototype: In favor of typing with said digits. Protractor: In favor of farm machinery. Provine: In favor of plants that cling to walls. Provision: In favor of eyesight.
nemo wrote: > Cybe R. Wizard <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message > news:20040731113712.22a47a07@WizardsTower... > > On Sat, 31 Jul 2004 14:12:17 GMT > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote: > > > > > > > > Cybe R. Wizard <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message > > > news:20040731072706.174a6bb5@WizardsTower... > > > > On 31 Jul 2004 03:43:06 -0500 > > > > "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Then Larry Krzewinski said: > > > > > > > > > > > >>Then "nemo" said: > > > > > >>>J. A. Mc. <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message > > > > > >>>> On Fri, 30 Jul 2004 12:02:24 GMT, "fedup" <fedup@mizz.con> > > > > > >found these>>>>Christmas box: A thick ear on the 24th for > > > > > >lighting the fire just before>>>>Santa came down the chimney. > > > > > >>>>>The poor sole ended up with four rosy cheeks! > > > > > >>>> Cheeks on the bottom of shoes? I can't cobbler to that one! > > > > > >>>A cheeky reply. > > > > > >>>I know it's the last thing you'd thin cough, butt cobblers is > > > > > >bollocks in>>the UK. The rest fits in well with booty - which is > > > > > >little shoes for babies>>in the UK. > > > > > >>>Two peoplses separated by an uncommon slang langwidge as well. > > > > > >>But thanks to you and other literary UK posters, we can overcome > > > > > >our>American slang and learn proper English. Others will say, > > > > > >"hook hairs!">Well, ice up hose! (brrrrrr)! > > > > > > > > > > > >You mean we'll all have to become depundant on UK humor to learn > > > > > >to speak properly? > > > > > > > > > > I don't think Nemo is depundable. > > > > > > > > I dunno, sometimes it seems like he's gone off the depunned. > > > > > > > Never mined. The other groups where the big bunches of gripes hang out > > > will all be depunned soon. > > > > > Yes, I can see a brit less crossposting already. > > > Fan queue. (Memory permitting - It's old age, I tell you!) > > I'm sorting my end out. Now please have the tim-erity to sort out yours! > Imodium's very good. ) > > Imodeon: Cinema with plastic covers on the seats for people with their > rrheas in a dia condition! Cinema: Movie mother.
mike wheeEler wrote: > In article <gnSib.22779$SJ5.13503@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, > nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when: > > > > > >Michael Balarama <mbalar@ev1.net> wrote in message > >news:voje6cirli6653@corp.supernews.com... > >> > >> "Buffalo Chilkat" <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message > >> news:vecjov4r8et97gk0eljusk25v7ejk2ue2k@4ax.com... > >> > Hindu-Swiss cheese: Holey Cow! > >> > >> veggie burgers > >> > >(true) > >A Swiss Cheese manufacturer once bought a number of ultrasonic concrete > >testers from off of CNS Electronics to measure the average density/size of > >holes in the cheese. > > > >This was handy, because they didn't have a scrap of ultrasonic concrete > >about the place. > > > The trouble with that imported swiss cheese is that it is as hard as concrete Cheesy: Ocean of dairy products. Cowing: Flying bovine. Emu: Internet cow.
Nehmo Sergheyev wrote: > I just went to a pun site made by a female, who, for obvious reasons, I > won't name. Everything there is pretty normal, but at the bottom of one > page is a button offering to show us her "Submission Form". I *didn't* > press on it because how she does that shouldn't be on the web and _I_ > refuse to look at such an obscenity! Obscenity: Tea that makes you swear.
Nehmo Sergheyev wrote: > I just went to a pun site made by a female, who, for obvious reasons, I > won't name. Everything there is pretty normal, but at the bottom of one > page is a button offering to show us her "Submission Form". I *didn't* > press on it because how she does that shouldn't be on the web and _I_ > refuse to look at such an obscenity! Submission: A church for fish.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4243C877.FE0AD961@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > Seeking: Ruler of the 7 Seas. > > > > Seeking: King who searches. > > > > Seeking: Observe the male monarch. > > > > Shaking: Vibrating king. > > > > Shaking: Powerful king. > > > > Shaking: King of earthquakes. > > And of timber/lumber -hauling locomotives. > > Koalalumber: Wood sculpture of an Aussie marsupial bear. Aussie: Ocean of kangaroos Down Under.
Greg Evans wrote: > Douglas D. Anderson wrote: > > > More precisely, "making love" is what a woman does while a man is > > "fucking" her. (v. atj lexical archives). > > Man...talk about splitting hairs.... Splitting: Bells getting divorced?
nemo wrote: > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:419EFF83.EA54EB1D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:41265CE7.4140E97A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote: > > > > > > > > > mike wheeEler wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > In article <3FB4193B.977C1CCE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>, > > > > > > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the > world > > > oddly when: > > > > > > > > > > > > > >Eden: A home on the Internet. > > > > > > > > > > > > > Purgetory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your > hardrive.. > > > > > > > > > > Lucifer: Hair of the Devil. > > > > > > > > Helmet: Hat of the Devil > > > > > > Lucifer: Secret code you have to punch in to get the lavatory door to > open. > > > > Aquifer: Watery hair. > > > > Cipher: Coded hair. > > > > Conifer: Hairy tree. > > Cipher on a conifer: Bark Code! Prefer: Before hair grows. Puffer: Hair that blows up.
"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote: > So then "nemo" says to the farmer: > > > >A worker at Ford UK on the night shift went to sleep on the production > >line and a parachutist crashed through the roof, landed on him him > >and killed him stone dead. > > > >There you are. A die skiving pun! > > A skydiver was killed near us recently. As investigators pieced it > together, when he pulled the ripcord, instead of opening there was just > a blaring sound. Turned out the outfitter at the airport mistakenly > gave him a paratoot! What a mournfull tune! Blaring: Very loud ring.
"J. A. Mc." wrote: > On 02 May 2004 22:05:41 GMT, johnnaishwerner@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) found > these unused words floating about: > > >Question (on the telephone): Are you in Thailand? > >Answer: Yes, Siam. > Q: Bank OK? Bangkok: Violent sex. Bangkok: Exploding male chicken.
nemo wrote: > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4157C243.81043573@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > Concave: Against spelunking. > > > > Content: Against camping. > > > > Contrail: Against hiking. > > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races. > > Contradiction: Against Lesbianism. Contradiction: How Nicaraguan rebels talk.
nemo wrote: > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4189AF28.A5DF64A6@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:41870AE5.286DACFB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > news:4039B5AF.C4754C4C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > Holo: A popular prostitute position. > > > > > > > > > > > > Hologram: A picture of same. > > > > > > > > > > > > Hologram: Message from a low prostitute. > > > > > > > > > > > > Hologram: Lighter than a Holopound. > > > > > > > > > > Holocopter: Rotary-wing aircraft with no-one inside. > > > > > > > > > > Holon a minute! There's no need to gush, Dan!! > > > > > > > > Boinking: King of sex. > > > > > > > > Conking: King of falling asleep. > > > > > > > > No Bell Prize: Awarded to a school whose bell didn't ring. > > > > > > Hologram: Same as a telegram, except it's read to you over the phone > with > > > lots of reverberation and echo. > > > > > > Conker: Someone agreeing about a chestnut. > > > > Conker: Against dogs. > > > I'll let that one Rotweiller nother pun forms in my mind! Curtest: Dog exam. Curvet: Dog in the army.
nemo wrote: > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:41EE69A4.D93B2AEB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:41EB74A3.6811687E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > Typo: A kind of blood. > > > > > > > > Blood Vessel: Vampire ship. > > > > > > > > Blood Bank: Where vampires store money and blood. > > > > > > > > Blood Shed: Where vampires keep their tools. > > > > > > > > Blood Letter: What vampires write. > > > > > > The answers to that one are leechion! > > > > Leeching in the wind? > > > Untruthful fromage: Lie Cheese. Truth telling flowers: Lie Lacks.
