Advent Puns

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Fri, 5 Nov 2004 20:42:48 -0000, "Raphael Kearns"
> <raphael@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >
> >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> >news:yPQid.35936$Bk6.13578@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >>
> >> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >> news:4189BB3B.3A410D4B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>> Packed Audience: Lots of suitcases in the auditorium.
> >>
> >>
> >> Auditorium: Place where Conservatives keep their Audinary cars.
> >>
> >>For those of us who cant Afford them
> >
> Haven't you Benz working?

Working: King of labor.

Enzi: New Zealand zombie.

Oozy: Muddy zombie.

Uzi: Zombie gun.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4189C800.32220B04@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41858BF8.E82C3747@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Exporting: Bells sents overseas.
> > > >
> > > > Importing: Bells brought into this country.
> > > >
> > > > Porting: A bell with little money.
> > > >
> > > > Porting: Opposite of Starboarding.
> > > >
> > > > Porting: To bring the bells to port.
> > > >
> > > > Reporting: To bring the bells to port again.
> > >
> > > <oyster alert!>
> > > Katsn dogs: Poor canines.
> >
> > Why do you want to alert shelled sea life?
> >
> Oyster: English - mollusc; Hebrew - treasure, and hence my interpretation -
> someone accustomed to saying 'Oy' every so often.
>
> Katsn: Hebrew - beggar, hence poor canines.
>
> You should have got all that from the context.

Context: Letters written by prisoners.

 

Bob Crowley wrote:

> "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnet.XCAPScom.au> wrote in message news:<416cf77d$0$10349$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > Charles Newton wrote:
> > > "Sheila Dundee" > wrote >> I just wanted to inject some, spice, into this
> > > forum.
> > >> Sorry about my pore punctuation :-(
> > >
> > > I'm afraid it was in vein.
> >
> > If you had more patients you would see that in this group blood counts.
>
> After Sabin you should take up polio triple step - hop, skip and fall over.

Sabin: Talking trash container.

 

Groundhog: One who is greedy for land.

Handsomer: Pretty male ocean.

Lamer: To have sex with an ocean.

Lamer: A crippled ocean.

Shimmer: Ocean that sparkles with light.

Trisects: 3 religions.

 

Advil: To add a town that relieves pain and helps you sleep.

Dammer: Ocean of mother deer.

Damming: Chinese vase of mother deers.

Damnation: Nation of mother deers, subsection of the Doe Nation.

Dimmer: Dark ocean.

Dimming: Dark Chinese vase.

 

LPG, LNG: Goblins that provide fuel.

 

Michael Balarama wrote:

> Two highways are sitting in a bar, having a drink. In walks a piece of
> pink tarmac. The highways cower under a table. The pink tarmac has a
> drink and leaves. When the highways return to the bar, an incredulous
> patron asks, "Why did you guys hide from the pink tarmac?" "Are you
> kidding?" asks a highway. "That guy's a cycle path!"

Tarmac: What a road eats at a fast food place.

TARDIS: Road material that travels in time.

 

Hedge Hunter: A person searching for plants to build a hedge along
property line.

Hedge your bets: using the hedges along the property line to hide
gambling.

Hedgepoge: mixing differing types of plantings.

 

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On 19 Mar 2004 00:18:22 -0800, bagelncreamcheese@hotmail.com (meat n
> potatoes) found these unused words floating about:
>
> >Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40580B73.3EFD8719@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> >> Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> >>
> >> Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> >
> >Fascination.
> ... Thailand.

Thailand: Neckwear country.

Taipei: Price of neckwear.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:432DB995.98D8E8FB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Erotic: Aphrodisiac tick.
> >
> > Majestic: A glorious tick.
> >
> > Mystic: A psychic tick.
> >
> > Optic: Tick that improves vision.
> >
> > Robotic: A tick made of metal and silicon chips.
> >
> > Rustic: Iron oxide tick in the country.
>
> Iron Ox Hide: Skin for a robotic male bovine.

Robotic: Metal parasite.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41E6138C.709C1E09@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Milton J. Smuthworthy, I <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote in

> message
> > > news:40a786fd$0$44512$45beb828@newscene.com...
> > > >
> > > > So then "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> said:
> > > > >
> > > > >> > Annie will be disappointed.
> > > > >> Who is Annie?
> > > > >That's a secret. She's Annie Nonnie Mouse.
> > > >
> > > > Is she also Ing Cockney Toe?
> > >
> > > LOL! Only her left great one.
> > >
> > > If you want parts of the Anna, Tommy, you can't beat the flamous
> comedian,
> > > Toe Knee Hand Cock!
> >
> > What does "Flamous" mean?
>
> A small rodent spontaniously combusting.
>
> Or is someone's tits catch fire . . . .
>
> June is combusting out all over . .

Combusting: Musical electronic mass transit vehicle.

Trumpet: Animal belonging to a musical instrumet.

 

Greg Evans wrote:

> Douglas D. Anderson wrote:
>
> > More precisely, "making love" is what a woman does while a man is
> > "fucking" her. (v. atj lexical archives).
>
> Man...talk about splitting hairs....

Splitting hares?

 

What did the plug say to the bottle?

"If you don't behave, I'll plug you".

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:491E802A.AFB37106@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> What did the plug say to the bottle?
>
> "If you don't behave, I'll plug you".

We call em corks caps or stoppers over here. A plug is what you find on the
end of Anna Pliance's mains lead.