Advent Puns

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41EEF7B1.98F2AFED@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <vnchp5173u0n55@corp.supernews.com>, jblvideo@yahoo.com, Sy
> > Knight
> > > was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> > > >>
> > > >> Hello Nick,
> > > >>
> > > >> On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri, 6:57:43
> >
> > > >> Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> > > >> > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> > > >>
> > > >> I am green with envy.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >She was well, red.
> > > >
> > > That happened when she noticed she was showing pink.
> >
> > Pink Lee: Sunburned Korean.
> >
> Crink Lee: 200 year-old Gypsy stripper.

Stripper: Price of a Green Belt.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45348042.C66615B8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:45332DC1.4E180EAB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4031EEAB.32CFEEA5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > commodities market - where one shops for commodes.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > WC: Ocean of toilets.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Commodities market - where one shops for recordings of Perry Como's
> > > > shorter
> > > > > songs
> > > > >
> > > > > WC Fields: Farm full of toilets.
> > > >
> > > > Garfields: Farm full of orange cats that walk on two legs.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Only one pair of legs between a whole farm full of cats??
> > >
> > > The bind moggles!
> >
> > Each cat walks on two legs!
> >
> That's not what it says though. There's an ', each of whom walks' missing.
>
> Whom: Where posh-spoken babies gestate.

Ges Tate: Pregnant man?

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45347D64.FC699767@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4434C552.3CC20161@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Compound: A prison for computerized K-9s, including the two K-9s
> > > Doctor
> > > > Who owned.
> > > >
> > > > Substance: Posture of mermen and mermaids.
> > > >
> > > > Subatomic: Underwater nuclear plant.
> > > >
> > > > Backing: The king behind.
> > > >
> > > > Behind: Deer-Bee crossbreed.
> > > >
> > > > Abby: Religious bee that writes advice columns.
> > > >
> > > > Crabby: Sea Bee with pincers.
> > > >
> > >
> > > There's a REMEdy for that!
> >
> > A demon doctor?
> >
> Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers - our equivalent of your Sea
> Bees - only they do more and better! Neeeaaaaaeerrr! )

Elect Nick, Elect Rick and Elect Ron.

 

Phil Kyle wrote:

> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> verbally sodomised in
> news:l2bZg.150997$aP3.16004@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk:
>
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:45347DA4.6AC8091@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>
> >> Gable: Homosexual bull.
> >>
> >> Hubble: Very far seeing bull.
> >>
> >> Pebble: Small rocky bull.
> >>
> >> Bullwrinkle: Old bull.
> >>
> >> Bullrush: Fast bull.
> >>
> > Bulover: It was time for him to run off the river bank and drown!
> >
> >
> >
>
> bulimic: irish bull.

Buli Mick: A man who binges and vomits.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4358929C.4B169CC1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > BLT: Apine fast food.
> >
> > BO: Smelly bee.
> >
> > BP: Bee urine.
> >
> > BS: Apine shit.
> >
> > BT: Bee beverage.
> >
> > Occupants: Clothing worn by conquering troops.
> >
> > Tucker: Dog that puts people to bed.
>
> Counterpain: Bed cover for people who get hurt feet from serving in a shop
> all day!

V-Power: Vampire gasoline.

 

Claiming: Vase that tells tall tales.

Confirming: Chinese vase that verifies.

Confirming: Vase at a criminal company.

Confirming: Against vase companies.

 

Firming: Vase company.

Jamming: Lots of vases on the road.

Jamming: Vase full of jam.

Lemming: Suicidal vase.

 

Sub aerial: Underwater antenna.

Subbranch: Part of an underwater tree.

Subbreed: Specials of submarine.

Subcabinet: Part of the merperson government.

Subclan: Tribe of merpeople.

 

Subclass: Takes place in a fish school.

Sub-cloud car: Car lowered from a blimp below the clouds to allow
observation of the ground.

Subclover: Underwater flower.

Subcoat: Worn by mermaids in cold water.

 

Subcast: Actors in an underwater play. They must follow the subplot.

Subceller: Lowest part of an underwater house.

Subceller: To sell submarines.

Subdean: What happened to Dean's poll numbers.

Suburban: To ban mermaids.

 

Subcellular: Underwater cell phone.

Subcompact: Agreement among merperson and fish nations.

Subprogram: What runs an underwater computer.

Subshell: Outside of a submarine.

 

Onkel Petey wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> >
> > "Keith E." wrote:
> >
> >
> >>Fri, 30 Jan 2004 21:43:07 -0500 was a day just like any other,
> >>until "Greg Evans" <gregIGNOREevans@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>>Keith E. wrote:
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>>>>Working in perfect harmony
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>Harmony? You're having chili pygthurr, huh?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Harmony, harmony, let's all join in harmony.
> >>>>
> >>>><pfffft>
> >>>><brrraaAAPPPPPP!!!!>
> >>>
> >>>It's been done - 30 years ago, c/o Mel Brooks.
> >>
> >>'74? That's smack-dab in the middle of the hazy '66-'80 period.
> >
> >
> > I went to Ithica, NY that year!
> >
> Umm, I think you mean Ithaca, New York. That's in the heart of Cornell.

Cornell: An a-maizing bell.

 

Alan wrote:

> On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 13:30:25 -0800, Larry Krzewinski
> <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>
> >On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 20:28:15 GMT, Alan <bogfern1@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>Sounds like sharp advice
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>Try to really avoid the ones named "Barb-y."
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>You met Barb Dwyer?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Yeah, but I was sorta on the fence about her.
> >>>>
> >>>>I heard she had a lot of stile.
> >>>
> >>>She was more than a little loopy, if you ask me.
> >>
> >>She was strung out when I saw her.
> >
> >And probably dumb as a post.
>
> Well, a Pole anyway.

Gallup, Zogby, ABC, CBS, or etc...?

Zogby: Apine that asks political questions.

 

"Keith E." wrote:

> Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:31:28 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> until Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> >On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 02:55:42 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>>Don't get sniffy with me, young man!
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Don't worry, I keep nose plugs with me at all times.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>You might just want to trim your nose hair once it gets that thick,
> >>>>>>>Keith.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>I tried, but it objected.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>So that's where your handlebar mustache came from!
> >>>>
> >>>>No, that came off a bicycle. It's just a realistic paint job.
> >>>
> >>>I thought the red handlebar grips with the multicolored streamers were
> >>>a bit much, though.
> >>
> >>They aren't streamers, they're snot wicks. They work kinda like
> >>those fancy clothes that wick sweat from your body.
> >
> >That'll make you popular with the ladies!
>
> They want me for my classy ways.

Fishing: Singing sea life.

Barby: Apine in jail, or drunk, or practicing law.

 

"Keith E." wrote:

> Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:31:28 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> until Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> >On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 02:55:42 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>>Don't get sniffy with me, young man!
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>Don't worry, I keep nose plugs with me at all times.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>You might just want to trim your nose hair once it gets that thick,
> >>>>>>>Keith.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>I tried, but it objected.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>So that's where your handlebar mustache came from!
> >>>>
> >>>>No, that came off a bicycle. It's just a realistic paint job.
> >>>
> >>>I thought the red handlebar grips with the multicolored streamers were
> >>>a bit much, though.
> >>
> >>They aren't streamers, they're snot wicks. They work kinda like
> >>those fancy clothes that wick sweat from your body.
> >
> >That'll make you popular with the ladies!
>
> They want me for my classy ways.

Have you ever tried to TUNAFISH?

 

Sheila Dundee wrote:

> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > On Fri, 15 Oct 2004 09:14:32 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
> > <CorKa@optusnet.XCAPScom.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> >> Michael Balarama wrote:
> >>> "Jonners" <jon@43-xarun.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
> >>> news:ckiq11$sm8$1@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> >>>> Impotence: Losing one's sense of erection.
> >>>
> >>> that's hard one to pay around with
> >>
> >> Sounds to me like your hard is growing fonder!!
> >>
> > Fonda's never been hard, just rolls over ...
>
> Peter out, you mean?

Politicans need Viagra after losing the erection.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40EB9A70.E835B61E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Sritk <sritk@aol.com> wrote in message
> > > news:20040228003013.20240.00000432@mb-m27.aol.com...
> > > > Hate crime-how I feel about lawbreaking.
> > > > Hate speech-why I don't talk much.
> > > > Hate groups-why I don't belong to any clubs.
> > >
> > > Hateable: Why I eat on the floor.
> > > Hatefulness: Why I don't eat much.
> >
> > Haiti: I don't like that drink.
> >
> Hated: Don't like people called Edward.

Hatred: Don't like the color of stop lights and stop signs.

 

"nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> wrote in message
news:<k6rnc.17609$GL5.2950@pathologist.blueyonder.net>...
> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:409E2BC7.681AC495@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Avoidance: I don't want to go to the dance. Nor do I want any ants.
> >
> > Avoidant: Ant that stays away.
> >
> > Clairvoyant: Ant that can see beyond its eyeshot.
> >
> > Concourse: Against golf.
> >
> > Optimist: Happy fog.
> >
> > Pessimist: Sad fog.
> >
> > Prefer: Before your hair grows out.
> >
> > Sandbar: Where beach bums get drunk.
> >
> > Submit: Wet glove.
> >
> > Subside: Side of the ocean.
> >
> > Survey: Map making knight.
>
> Survay: Yiddisher Knight who's hurt himself.

Serpent: 5 knights.

Epidemonology: Study of disease causing demons.

 

Yukon: Convention of female sheep, or a female sheep criminal.

Yukon: Convention of yew trees.

Yukon: Convention of people whose names begin with the 21st letter.

 

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Fri, 5 Nov 2004 06:55:01 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> <farosenbaum@charter.net> wrote:
>
> >>>>>>>>>>> If you want to feather bed, go ahead. I don't give a flock.
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> "Birds of a flock, feather together".
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> What goose down here ... <G>
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> When my family moved to Michigan, we were Michibeginne rs.Then
> >>>>>>>>> there are Michiganders, Michigeese, and Michigoslings.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Sounds like you've been Michigoosed, Frank.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Actually, Larry, I have been Michigeesed. There was more than one
> >>>>>>> finger.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I've had people give me the finger on many
> >>>>>> occations and I don't live any where near there.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>I know what you mean. I don't need anyone to give me any fingers. I
> >>>>>already
> >>>>>have ten of my own.
> >>>>
> >>>> You geesed yourself in the Michigander?
> >>>
> >>>Guffaw, No, I didn't. I geesed my wife in her Michigander.
> >>
> >> Well, that sure explains all the goslings.
> >
> >I don't know where you are looking, but there are only two in my flock.
>
> If your flock starts flocking other flocks you could end up as a
> cooked grandfather goose.

Goosing: Musical mud.