A Problem with Country People I'd Like to Address

It's not really a problem. I don't want this to come off that way. It's
really more or less something I'd like to discuss with you, my new
Internet friends.

The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living in
this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved here
from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate areas of
our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the language.

Now before you jump all over me saying, "Oh, you're won to talk, Wavy,"
let me explain: There are a certain few words that "Country people"
intentionally try to say wrong. It's just a few words, that's all. For
example, when somewon says "physical," and they are actually trying to
say "fiscal." As in, "Have you updated the new 'physical' calendar?" Of
course, they know it's "fiscal," they just try to pronounce it
"physical." Why do they do this? Or when talking about a "Poplar"
tree, they say it like, "popular," as if they think "Poplar" is a
contraction of the word "popular" or something. "Hey man, I cut down
that 'Popular' tree in my back yard last night."

I'm not exactly sure why these people do this. I believe it comes from
the standard of removing "drawls" from words in attempt to sound more
sophisticated, like the people in their surrounding communities, and as
a result, totally fucking up certain words. It's like they try so hard
to be like us, but it just doesn't "pan out."

When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.

So anyways, I just thought I'd throw that out there and see if anywon
"bites." What do you think? Let's talk. I love hearing from you all.

With love, as always,
Wavy G.

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
>
> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
> people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
> their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
> tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
> see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
> tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
> say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.

Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em up,
and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be issues.

 

> The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living in
> this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved here
> from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate areas of
> our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the language.

SNIP a lot

And of course, Cincinnati is the navel of the universe, the hub of the
western cultural world, the nirvana all lesser humans long to reside within.

OTOH, there are those of us who rather enjoy life in the provinces.

R / John

 

"gregvk" <greg@nospam.okthx> wrote in message
news:Xns9A358C26212DEA7E90087C86051@127.0.0.1...
> Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
> news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
> >
> > When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
> > North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
> > to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
> > know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
> > people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
> > their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
> > tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
> > see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
> > tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
> > say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
> > MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
> > BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>
> Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
> they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em up,
> and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be issues.

And why are we posting this shit here greggie-poo?
cease to be issues.

 

Dear, "John Carrier": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( )
NO:

>
>> The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living in
>> this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved here
>> from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate areas of
>> our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the language.
>
>SNIP a lot
>
>And of course, Cincinnati is the navel of the universe, the hub of the
>western cultural world, the nirvana all lesser humans long to reside within.

Thank you. The "navel" of the universe: the causeway to life and the
auspicious centre of new birth. That is my home town, all right. You
are a most astute and prodigious poster, the likes of which we have
never seen (well, in a few years, at least).

>
>OTOH, there are those of us who rather enjoy life in the provinces.
>
>R / John
>

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Wavy G wrote:

> It's not really a problem. I don't want this to come off that way. It's
> really more or less something I'd like to discuss with you, my new
> Internet friends.
>
> The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living in
> this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved here
> from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate areas of
> our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the language.
>
> Now before you jump all over me saying, "Oh, you're won to talk, Wavy,"
> let me explain: There are a certain few words that "Country people"
> intentionally try to say wrong. It's just a few words, that's all. For
> example, when somewon says "physical," and they are actually trying to
> say "fiscal." As in, "Have you updated the new 'physical' calendar?" Of
> course, they know it's "fiscal," they just try to pronounce it
> "physical." Why do they do this? Or when talking about a "Poplar"
> tree, they say it like, "popular," as if they think "Poplar" is a
> contraction of the word "popular" or something. "Hey man, I cut down
> that 'Popular' tree in my back yard last night."

Bullshit. Neither of those have ever occurred here.

> I'm not exactly sure why these people do this. I believe it comes from
> the standard of removing "drawls" from words in attempt to sound more
> sophisticated, like the people in their surrounding communities, and as
> a result, totally fucking up certain words. It's like they try so hard
> to be like us, but it just doesn't "pan out."
>
> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
> people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
> their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
> tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
> see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
> tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
> say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.

No true southerner would ever say "you all". It's always "y'all". The idea
that we say "you all" is an invention of you northern fucks. In my entire
45+ year life, all of which was spent living in the south, I have never
heard one of "us" ever say "you all". Get yer information straight.

> So anyways, I just thought I'd throw that out there and see if anywon
> "bites." What do you think? Let's talk. I love hearing from you all.

Did that count as a bite?

> With love, as always,
> Wavy G.

Like I believe that after the assault you just made on my language.

I'll explain this once for you, Wavy <*bitch slap*> so you will understand.

"Y'all" = "you all" = "all of you". "All of you" == "some of you". We say
"y'all" to ensure that you and your other northern fuck compatriots will
understand we mean "you and your other northern fuck compatriots related to
whatever group or social clique being spoken to at any given time. Even if
it the entire lot of you; i.e.: "Fuck all y'all!" This as opposed to "some
of you." This means some members of said groups above are included, others
are not.

Don't make that mistake again, <*bitch slap*> WavyG. <*bitch slap*>
--
Tim Weaver

I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not
what I meant.

 

On 30 Jan 2008 20:47:00 GMT, gregvk <greg@nospam.okthx> wrote:

>Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
>>
>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
>> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
>> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
>> people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
>> their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
>> tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
>> see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
>> tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
>> say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>
>Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
>they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em up,
>and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be issues.

As a former slave myself, I find southerners offensive and feel they
should be systematically exterminated like the Germans did to those
poor Jewish people in WWII.

Be Well!

Jade

 

Daedalus <jade@newtko0ouks.biz> wrote in
news:8814q3dhf714tkpff1r0hu5prg4qcb8of4@4ax.com:

> On 30 Jan 2008 20:47:00 GMT, gregvk <greg@nospam.okthx> wrote:
>
>>Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>>news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
>>>
>>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an
>>> attempt to blend in with us regular people--especially in their
>>> language. You know, like when they use the term "You all" when
>>> addressing two or more people. You know deep-down inside they
>>> really want to say "Y'all," as their Southern instincts would
>>> dictate, but something intrinsically tells them, "Don't say it!
>>> Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to see me as the backward,
>>> inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a tip for all
>>> Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we say,
>>> "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>>
>>Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
>>they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em
>>up, and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be
>>issues.
>
> As a former slave myself, I find southerners offensive and feel they
> should be systematically exterminated like the Germans did to those
> poor Jewish people in WWII.
>

Did they make you do awful things as a slave?

Please elaborate.

Also describe what you;re wearing.

Bertie

 

Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>Wavy G wrote:
>
>> It's not really a problem. I don't want this to come off that way. It's
>> really more or less something I'd like to discuss with you, my new
>> Internet friends.
>>
>> The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living in
>> this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved here
>> from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate areas of
>> our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the language.
>>
>> Now before you jump all over me saying, "Oh, you're won to talk, Wavy,"
>> let me explain: There are a certain few words that "Country people"
>> intentionally try to say wrong. It's just a few words, that's all. For
>> example, when somewon says "physical," and they are actually trying to
>> say "fiscal." As in, "Have you updated the new 'physical' calendar?" Of
>> course, they know it's "fiscal," they just try to pronounce it
>> "physical." Why do they do this? Or when talking about a "Poplar"
>> tree, they say it like, "popular," as if they think "Poplar" is a
>> contraction of the word "popular" or something. "Hey man, I cut down
>> that 'Popular' tree in my back yard last night."
>
>Bullshit. Neither of those have ever occurred here.

Here? Where? Are you talking about in the south? Because that's not
what I'm talking about. I'm talking about southerners (or "country
folk" in general) who have *relocated* to the North.

>> I'm not exactly sure why these people do this. I believe it comes from
>> the standard of removing "drawls" from words in attempt to sound more
>> sophisticated, like the people in their surrounding communities, and as
>> a result, totally fucking up certain words. It's like they try so hard
>> to be like us, but it just doesn't "pan out."
>>
>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
>> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
>> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
>> people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
>> their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
>> tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
>> see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
>> tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
>> say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>
>No true southerner would ever say "you all". It's always "y'all". The idea
>that we say "you all" is an invention of you northern fucks. In my entire
>45+ year life, all of which was spent living in the south, I have never
>heard one of "us" ever say "you all". Get yer information straight.

Exactly. I'm talking about the southerners who've ingratiated
themselves (or rather, attempted to ingratiate themselves) in with the
classy stylish Northern peoples. You've lived your entire life in the
south, so you've never seen this occur. Get your information straight.


>> So anyways, I just thought I'd throw that out there and see if anywon
>> "bites." What do you think? Let's talk. I love hearing from you all.
>
>Did that count as a bite?

Sure. But the expression "When trolling for catfish, use stinky bait"
comes to mind, LOL.

>> With love, as always,
>> Wavy G.
>
>Like I believe that after the assault you just made on my language.
>
>I'll explain this once for you, Wavy <*bitch slap*> so you will understand.
>
>"Y'all" = "you all" = "all of you". "All of you" == "some of you". We say
>"y'all" to ensure that you and your other northern fuck compatriots will
>understand we mean "you and your other northern fuck compatriots related to
>whatever group or social clique being spoken to at any given time. Even if
>it the entire lot of you; i.e.: "Fuck all y'all!" This as opposed to "some
>of you." This means some members of said groups above are included, others
>are not.
>
>Don't make that mistake again, <*bitch slap*> WavyG. <*bitch slap*>

"We all say it, so it must be correct."

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Wavy G wrote:

> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>Wavy G wrote:
>>
>>> It's not really a problem. I don't want this to come off that way.
>>> It's really more or less something I'd like to discuss with you, my
>>> new Internet friends.
>>>
>>> The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living
>>> in this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved
>>> here from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate
>>> areas of our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the
>>> language.
>>>
>>> Now before you jump all over me saying, "Oh, you're won to talk,
>>> Wavy," let me explain: There are a certain few words that "Country
>>> people" intentionally try to say wrong. It's just a few words, that's
>>> all. For example, when somewon says "physical," and they are actually
>>> trying to say "fiscal." As in, "Have you updated the new 'physical'
>>> calendar?" Of course, they know it's "fiscal," they just try to
>>> pronounce it "physical." Why do they do this? Or when talking about
>>> a "Poplar" tree, they say it like, "popular," as if they think
>>> "Poplar" is a contraction of the word "popular" or something. "Hey
>>> man, I cut down that 'Popular' tree in my back yard last night."
>>
>>Bullshit. Neither of those have ever occurred here.
>
> Here? Where? Are you talking about in the south? Because that's not
> what I'm talking about. I'm talking about southerners (or "country
> folk" in general) who have *relocated* to the North.

Doesn't matter. We don't say "you all". Ever.

>>> I'm not exactly sure why these people do this. I believe it comes
>>> from the standard of removing "drawls" from words in attempt to sound
>>> more sophisticated, like the people in their surrounding communities,
>>> and as a result, totally fucking up certain words. It's like they try
>>> so hard to be like us, but it just doesn't "pan out."
>>>
>>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
>>> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
>>> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or
>>> more people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say
>>> "Y'all," as their Southern instincts would dictate, but something
>>> intrinsically tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't
>>> want them to see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am."
>>> Well here's a tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't
>>> say, "You all," we say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF
>>> "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND
>>> LIKE A BUNCH OF BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>>
>>No true southerner would ever say "you all". It's always "y'all". The
>>idea that we say "you all" is an invention of you northern fucks. In my
>>entire 45+ year life, all of which was spent living in the south, I have
>>never heard one of "us" ever say "you all". Get yer information
>>straight.
>
> Exactly. I'm talking about the southerners who've ingratiated
> themselves (or rather, attempted to ingratiate themselves) in with the
> classy stylish Northern peoples. You've lived your entire life in the
> south, so you've never seen this occur. Get your information straight.

Location doesn't matter. ~Weeeeeeeee~ don't say "you all". Ever. Here or
there or anywhere. Any southerner saying "you all" is immediately disavowed
as being a southerner.

>>> So anyways, I just thought I'd throw that out there and see if anywon
>>> "bites." What do you think? Let's talk. I love hearing from you
>>> all.
>>
>>Did that count as a bite?
>
> Sure. But the expression "When trolling for catfish, use stinky bait"
> comes to mind, LOL.

I don't know what that means; I'm from the south.

>>> With love, as always,
>>> Wavy G.
>>
>>Like I believe that after the assault you just made on my language.
>>
>>I'll explain this once for you, Wavy <*bitch slap*> so you will
>>understand.
>>
>>"Y'all" = "you all" = "all of you". "All of you" == "some of you". We
>>say "y'all" to ensure that you and your other northern fuck compatriots
>>will understand we mean "you and your other northern fuck compatriots
>>related to whatever group or social clique being spoken to at any given
>>time. Even if it the entire lot of you; i.e.: "Fuck all y'all!" This
>>as opposed to "some of you." This means some members of said groups
>>above are included, others are not.
>>
>>Don't make that mistake again, <*bitch slap*> WavyG. <*bitch slap*>
>
> "We all say it, so it must be correct."

No, you say it because you're northern fucks.

<*dick slap*>

I win! AGAIN!!!
--
Tim Weaver

I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not
what I meant.

 

Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
><*dick slap*>

Taking flaming lessons from OMH now, are we, LOL?

>I win! AGAIN!!!

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Wavy G wrote:

> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>><*dick slap*>
>
> Taking flaming lessons from OMH now, are we, LOL?

You prefer the <*bitch slap*>?
--
Tim Weaver

I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not
what I meant.

 

Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>Wavy G wrote:
>
>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>><*dick slap*>
>>
>> Taking flaming lessons from OMH now, are we, LOL?
>
>You prefer the <*bitch slap*>?

I prefer actual responses. Bonus points if they're actually funny.

--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.

*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************

 

Wavy G wrote:

> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>Wavy G wrote:
>>
>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>>><*dick slap*>
>>>
>>> Taking flaming lessons from OMH now, are we, LOL?
>>
>>You prefer the <*bitch slap*>?
>
> I prefer actual responses. Bonus points if they're actually funny.

I'm not a funny person. Do I get penalized for a non-funny reply?
--
Tim Weaver

I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not
what I meant.

 

On Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:30:14 -0500, Daedalus <jade@newtko0ouks.biz>
wrote:

>On 30 Jan 2008 20:47:00 GMT, gregvk <greg@nospam.okthx> wrote:
>
>>Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>>news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
>>>
>>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
>>> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
>>> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
>>> people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
>>> their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
>>> tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
>>> see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
>>> tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
>>> say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>>
>>Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
>>they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em up,
>>and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be issues.
>
>As a former slave myself, I find southerners offensive and feel they
>should be systematically exterminated like the Germans did to those
>poor Jewish people in WWII.
>
>Be Well!
>
>Jade

i <3 jade.

--
dave hillstrom mhm15x4 zrbj

<This space for rent.>

 

On Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:09:55 -0500, Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com>
wrote:

>Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>Wavy G wrote:
>>
>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>>>><*dick slap*>
>>>
>>> Taking flaming lessons from OMH now, are we, LOL?
>>
>>You prefer the <*bitch slap*>?
>
>I prefer actual responses. Bonus points if they're actually funny.

see, i dont even have to post.

--
dave hillstrom mhm15x4 zrbj

<This space for rent.>

 

The Daring Dufas <the-daring-dufas@hottest-male.com> wrote in
news:fnu4gc$9rf$2@aioe.org:

> gregvk wrote:
>> Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>> news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
>>>
>>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an
>>> attempt to blend in with us regular people--especially in their
>>> language. You know, like when they use the term "You all" when
>>> addressing two or more people. You know deep-down inside they
>>> really want to say "Y'all," as their Southern instincts would
>>> dictate, but something intrinsically tells them, "Don't say it!
>>> Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to see me as the backward,
>>> inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a tip for all
>>> Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we say,
>>> "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>>
>> Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
>> they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em
>> up, and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be
>> issues.
>
> Funny thing about the Birmingham, AL area, when those damn Yankees
> come down here and see the beautiful country for themselves, we can't
> get the SOBs to leave. I may be a native son but I've seen many other
> states and other parts of the world and like most people from the
> South East, I'll always come home. Whenever I hear someone make
> disparaging remarks about the southern states, it's usually out of
> ignorance. Most people get their ideas about The South from TV and the
> movies and we all know that those forms of media are based on
> (sarcastic tone) realism. I would like the rest of the world to
> continue to think of my home as an awful place so they'll STAY THE
> HELL AWAY and not come around here to muck things up. We have, like
> everywhere else, plenty of goof balls already...

I learned more than I wanted to about the southern U.S. from _Deliverance_.

 

gregvk wrote:

> The Daring Dufas <the-daring-dufas@hottest-male.com> wrote in
> news:fnu4gc$9rf$2@aioe.org:
>
>> gregvk wrote:
>>> Wavy G <godsspeciallamb@gmail.com> wrote in
>>> news:fdl1q3d1gblf76lflc2tld7hdojtbviqvn@4ax.com:
>>>>
>>>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>>>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an
>>>> attempt to blend in with us regular people--especially in their
>>>> language. You know, like when they use the term "You all" when
>>>> addressing two or more people. You know deep-down inside they
>>>> really want to say "Y'all," as their Southern instincts would
>>>> dictate, but something intrinsically tells them, "Don't say it!
>>>> Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to see me as the backward,
>>>> inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a tip for all
>>>> Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we say,
>>>> "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>>>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>>>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>>>
>>> Just ask 'em things like why their women are so slutty and what uses
>>> they've found for their empty slave stables. That usually shuts 'em
>>> up, and then their silly accent and moronic vocabulary cease to be
>>> issues.
>>
>> Funny thing about the Birmingham, AL area, when those damn Yankees
>> come down here and see the beautiful country for themselves, we can't
>> get the SOBs to leave. I may be a native son but I've seen many other
>> states and other parts of the world and like most people from the
>> South East, I'll always come home. Whenever I hear someone make
>> disparaging remarks about the southern states, it's usually out of
>> ignorance. Most people get their ideas about The South from TV and the
>> movies and we all know that those forms of media are based on
>> (sarcastic tone) realism. I would like the rest of the world to
>> continue to think of my home as an awful place so they'll STAY THE
>> HELL AWAY and not come around here to muck things up. We have, like
>> everywhere else, plenty of goof balls already...
>
> I learned more than I wanted to about the southern U.S. from
_Deliverance_.

We're not all like that. Having said that, there is a place near where I
live called Tiger Ridge where inbreeding has been going on since long before
I was born. A magazine (Scientific American I think) did an article on them
many years ago.
--
Tim Weaver

I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not
what I meant.

 

On Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:08:43 -0600, Tim Weaver <tmw99999@gmail.com>
wrote in
<Xns9A367B738D14B0Z0thecheeseclub0Z0@comcast.dca.giganews.com>:

>Wavy G wrote:
>
>> It's not really a problem. I don't want this to come off that way. It's
>> really more or less something I'd like to discuss with you, my new
>> Internet friends.
>>
>> The thing is, there's a few people I have met in my many years living in
>> this great "Greater Cincinnati Area" (GO REDS!), who have moved here
>> from Kentucky, or Atlanta, or won of the other less-fortunate areas of
>> our nation, who have a tendency to "mispronounce" the language.
>>
>> Now before you jump all over me saying, "Oh, you're won to talk, Wavy,"
>> let me explain: There are a certain few words that "Country people"
>> intentionally try to say wrong. It's just a few words, that's all. For
>> example, when somewon says "physical," and they are actually trying to
>> say "fiscal." As in, "Have you updated the new 'physical' calendar?" Of
>> course, they know it's "fiscal," they just try to pronounce it
>> "physical." Why do they do this? Or when talking about a "Poplar"
>> tree, they say it like, "popular," as if they think "Poplar" is a
>> contraction of the word "popular" or something. "Hey man, I cut down
>> that 'Popular' tree in my back yard last night."
>
>Bullshit. Neither of those have ever occurred here.
>
>> I'm not exactly sure why these people do this. I believe it comes from
>> the standard of removing "drawls" from words in attempt to sound more
>> sophisticated, like the people in their surrounding communities, and as
>> a result, totally fucking up certain words. It's like they try so hard
>> to be like us, but it just doesn't "pan out."
>>
>> When a Southerner relocates to the much more refined and civilized
>> North, they try to hide their down-home, "cornpone" ways in an attempt
>> to blend in with us regular people--especially in their language. You
>> know, like when they use the term "You all" when addressing two or more
>> people. You know deep-down inside they really want to say "Y'all," as
>> their Southern instincts would dictate, but something intrinsically
>> tells them, "Don't say it! Don't say, 'Y'all'! I don't want them to
>> see me as the backward, inbred buffoon that I really am." Well here's a
>> tip for all Southerners: We normal people...we don't say, "You all," we
>> say, "you." NEWSFLASH: "YOU" IS THE PLURAL FORM OF "YOU"!!! IT DOESN'T
>> MATTER HOW YOU STRETCH IT OUT, YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF
>> BUCK-TOOTHED, GRITS-SLURPING MORONS.
>
>No true southerner would ever say "you all". It's always "y'all". The idea
>that we say "you all" is an invention of you northern fucks. In my entire
>45+ year life, all of which was spent living in the south, I have never
>heard one of "us" ever say "you all". Get yer information straight.
>
>> So anyways, I just thought I'd throw that out there and see if anywon
>> "bites." What do you think? Let's talk. I love hearing from you all.
>
>Did that count as a bite?
>
>> With love, as always,
>> Wavy G.
>
>Like I believe that after the assault you just made on my language.
>
>I'll explain this once for you, Wavy <*bitch slap*> so you will understand.
>
>"Y'all" = "you all" = "all of you". "All of you" == "some of you". We say
>"y'all" to ensure that you and your other northern fuck compatriots will
>understand we mean "you and your other northern fuck compatriots related to
>whatever group or social clique being spoken to at any given time. Even if
>it the entire lot of you; i.e.: "Fuck all y'all!" This as opposed to "some
>of you." This means some members of said groups above are included, others
>are not.
>
>Don't make that mistake again, <*bitch slap*> WavyG. <*bitch slap*>

Please allow me to assist in the simple, uncomplicated way that I
have.
<published all over>:

Southern Tourism Bureau Notice to all visiting Northerners
And Northeastern Urbanites:

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's
just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook
something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther
Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or
we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here
it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC,
Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever -- it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing
otherwise can lead to an ass-kicking.


4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you
(e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and
generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or
we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex,
Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do,
sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Edwards, Duke, Barnes,
Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb
enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the
Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to
Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett
up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of
Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the
carving, we'll kick your ass.


7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell
up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick
your ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly
know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended -- with
gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will
get your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we
know better. Many of us have visited Northern shitholes like Detroit,
Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like
it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it
gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because
we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand
what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are
saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone,
or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR
lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR
scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold
doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such
things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our
sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners
into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the
countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in
filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore.
Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how
to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is
kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our
barbeque, and you will go home in a pine box. Minus your ass!

 

On Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:08:43 -0600, Tim Weaver wrote:

> No true southerner would ever say "you all". It's always "y'all". The idea
> that we say "you all" is an invention of you northern fucks. In my entire
> 45+ year life, all of which was spent living in the south, I have never
> heard one of "us" ever say "you all". Get yer information straight.

People in Kentucky and West Virgina say "you-all" all the time.

It distinguishes the second person plural.

"Y'all" is trashy, and should only be used for humorous effect.

--
tinmimus99@hotmail.com

smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

"Polly-wolly-doodle"--what does it _mean_?

< _SOB_