nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:42EF1681.27EE1F36@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > <dobeygjrg@yahoo.com> wrote in message > > > news:1103035825.797279.262730@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com... > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > news:41BE9D5A.81FB991C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > Q: why does an ocean going river get cold? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A: because it has a shore throat. > > > > > > > > > > > > Floozy: Ocean with a cold. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Q: Why was the beach wet? > > > > > > > > > > A: Because the sea weed! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Q: How can you spot a Kosher beach? > > > > > > > > > > A: It has no foreshore. > > > > > > > > What did they say when they found E.T. washed up on the shore? > > > > E.T. no foam home! > > > > > > > The best crack based on that was in some show or other - can't remember > > > which - where he picks up a public phone, says "ET phone home" and the > > > operator says, "Very well. Please insert $600,000 for the first three > > > minutes." > > > > E.T.: Beverage on the Internet for aliens. > > Croaky voice: E T phone home. > > Operator: Please insert three million dollars! > (Airplane 2) Smarten: To get 10 brains.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4388E969.3ED032D7@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > Kidney Bean: The site of a generous organ doughnation. > > > > Artichoke: An over-flamboyant strangling. > > > > Brussels Sprout: A small Belgian child. > > > > Lettuce get some more puns! > > > > Don't cast asparagus on your opponents! > > > > Don't dive in the Liverpool! > > > > Don't be vein in the traffic artery! > > > > Artery: Collective noun for visceral paintings in a gall-ery. R. Tery: Robot that carries blood.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:427C7CB5.5C5177FA@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:42523F6A.E60030ED@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > news:424D0708.FF9D1E49@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > An alcoholic got so bad he started seeing huge arses sliding up > > > > > and > > > > > > down the > > > > > > > curtains - then all of a sudden his condition D.T. rear rated! > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you have any proof? > > > > > > > > > > > Nope. No no more. > > > > > > > > > > As I've mentioned before, in the EEC we've abandoned the Eric Sykes > > > > > Scale > > > > > and we measure it instead by Alcohol % by Volume - meaning that the > > > > > more you > > > > > drink, the louder you get. > > > > > > > > Demon Rum: Drunk demon. > > > > > > > > DUI: Demon who drives while drunk. > > > > > > > DOA: A KKK member's portal and how a KKK cop's black prisoners always > arrive > > > at the police station! > > > > VA: Vampire affairs. > > OY VA!! A Jewish vampire's exclamation - especially if he's a Michinganner! HIV: Vampire that causes AIDS.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:427C484E.440B199F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > Soupcon: A scam involving a mostly liquid refreshment. > > > > Souring: Bad tasting ring. > > > > Sourcing: Song of rising. > > > > Sorting: Rising bell. > > Soar arse: Posterior, red-raw from the friction of the air on re-entry. Anterior: Ant's behind.
nemo wrote: > "Douglas D. Anderson" <dda@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message > news:rLZrg.79531$3B.13255@twister.nyroc.rr.com... > > nemo wrote: > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:44AF2E82.6F18C04C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > >>nemo wrote: > > >> > > >> > > >>>Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > >>>news:403079DB.99514920@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > >>> > > >>>>Asking: King of backsides. > > >>>> > > >>>>Awaking: King of Travel Agents. > > >>>> > > >>>>Banking: Explosives expert. > > >>>> > > >>>>Beacon: Buzzing criminal. > > >>>> > > >>>>Biking: A gay monarch. > > >>>> > > >>>>Braking: King of donkeys. > > >>>> > > >>>>Cracking: Drug lord. > > >>>> > > >>>>Flaking: Snow lord. > > >>>> > > >>>>Hiking: Lord of the mountains. > > >>>> > > >>>>Liable: Fibbing male cow. > > >>>> > > >>>>Liking: Satan. > > >>> > > >>>Baking: King Alfred. > > >> > > >>Basic: Diseased body of water that offshoots from the ocean. > > >> > > >>Classic: Ill group of students. > > > > > > > > > Unwell: To throw water back down the hole you drew it out of. > > > > > Realist: opposite of phony list. > > > Posh people call one of those a Telephone Directory. Directory: List of British Conservatives.
Scammer: Ocean of con artists. Scamming: A con artist Chinese vase. Forbearance: 4 ursine/ant crossbreeds.
Ascom: Donkey computer. Ascot: Donkey sleeping furniture. Aspen: Donkey jail. Belly: Ringing Korean. Earnest: Rich bird habitat. Easer: Internet knight. Easing: Internet songs. Easy: Simple ocean on Internet.
Invest Ting: Chinese Stock Market. Mind Ding: Chinese genius. Pervert Ting: Chinese sinner. Pop Ping: Chinese father. Pop Ping: Chinese frozen juice. Pop Ping: Chinese balloon. Right Ting: Conservative Chinese. Scent Ting: Chinese perfume. Scent Ting: One penny Chinese. Taunt Ting: Chinese saying bad words. Vacate Ting: The Chinese is out. Vet Ting: Chinese who weeds out bad candidates. Vet Ting: Chinese animal doctor. Writ Ting: Chinese newspaper.
"J. A. Mc." wrote: > For many years the various sections of the Tate family were scattered far > and wide. Finally, with the advent of cheap travel, they decided to get > together enmasse. What no one forsaw was that they were all extremely > amorous in nature. > > Soon they had all paired off and the hall resounded with shouts, calls and > grunts. Forevermore it became known as the united Tate's congress. Leading to the Baby Boom. Baby Boom: Very loud infants. Boomer: Ghost ocean. Booming: Ghost vase. Booted: To express displeasure with Senator Kennedy. Booting: Ghost bell. Boozy: Drunken ghost or zombie ghost.
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message news:455174F7.E44D3945@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > nemo wrote: > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > news:443372CF.B64D3100@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > Michael Balarama wrote: > > > > > > > "Bush was asked about the literacy problem. He said, 'We > > > > can solve the literacy if every American picked up just > > > > one piece of paper every day and put it in the trash." > > > > > > So that is Bush's litergy? > > > > > > Litergy: Religious goblin who drops garbage on the ground. > > > > E-litter-rate: How much you get charged for leaving rubbish on the Internet. > > How do you rub a bish? With a crow's ear!
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:424E595E.9718798D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:3FB5D5FA.704C1114@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote: > > > > > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > Subdue: Underwater postage stamp. > > > > > > > > > > Gunman: Man with a gun for a head. > > > > > > > > Handgun: To have a gun for a hand. > > > > > > > Pistol: A gun kept in a Urinal. > > > > Grenada: Father of a hand thrown explosive. > > > > > Grenada: Instruction to someone to smile more intensely. Goldy: Yellow demon. Goldy: Demon made of Element 79.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:4430C8C3.E99BAA36@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top. > > > > Advert: Add the color green. > > > > Revert: To turn green again. > > > > Frenzy: Frantic zombie. > > Somebody who's gone berserk and is hitting you: Unfrenzy behaviour! Frenzy: Excited zombie.
nemo wrote: > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:44320D11.887149F6@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > nemo wrote: > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > news:4226DF4F.11F4797D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > > > > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote: > > > > > > > > > On Mon, 24 May 2004 04:11:49 GMT, "Chris Trask" > > > > <christrask@earthlink.net> > > > > > found these unused words floating about: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > > > > > >news:40B0ACCE.5FEA5059@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > >> To be franc, this is nonsense! > > > > > >> > > > > > >> Shall I pound this message further? > > > > > >> > > > > > >> Mark my words. > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > I have to peso back and forth to think of something clever as > > I > > > > have a > > > > > >yen to contribute to this thread. I'm a bit lira of running > > afoul of > > > > > > > > > >anyone's sensitivities due to a monetary lapse of thoughtfulness. > > > > > > > > > > > > > But it was still centavo the internet! > > > > > > > > Lets Buck the trend towards war! > > > > > > > > Franc ly, I'm sick of Iraq! > > > > > > > Lets also Buck the trend towards Rogers! > > > > And Kingham Palace? > > Hampton Caught can be very painful though. Hampton: 2,000 lb pig.
"nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> wrote in message news:<5frnc.17614$bR5.13003@pathologist.blueyonder.net>... > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message > news:409E2F9B.B95C65D1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us... > > > > > > James King wrote: > > > > > In article <407031E8.B837EFB5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>, Tim Bruening > > > <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote: > > > > > > > Bahrain: Sheep falling from the sky. > > > > > > Brings new meaning to having the wool pulled over your eyes. > > > > > > > Singapore: Musical skin. > > > > > > Singapore: the truth. > > > > > > James King (poor musician) > > Joe King: (poor comedian) > > > > Bahrain: Weather forcast by Scrooge. > > Yaaaah! Bumhug: Scrooge feeling randy! Miser: The knight who belongs to me.
