15 December Puns

"Maxwell" <luv2^fly99@cox.^net> wrote in newseaSj.30945$KJ1.15055
@newsfe19.lga:

>
> "Bertie the Bunyip" <AA@AA.AA> wrote in message
> news:fvbac0$kas$3@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
>> do they now?
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Bertie
>
> Squirt, squirt.
>
>
>

OK!


Bertie

 

nemo wrote:

> Randolf Richardson <rr@8x.ca> wrote in message
> news:Xns95D7ED0046E2Crr8xca@24.64.223.211...
> > ""nemo" <nemo@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41DD1691.921420D8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> Randolf Richardson wrote:
> > >> > ""nemo" <nemo@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > >> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> > > news:41CE51FF.35497F1E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> > >> nemo wrote:
> > >> > >> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> > >> > news:40AA9E8E.82B4D75D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> > >> > > nemo wrote:
> > >> > >> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> > >> > > > news:40A82829.9615CD23@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> > >> > > > > Paul wrote:
> > >> > >> > > > >
> > >> > >> > > > > > HAHAHAHAAHAH thats the funniest thing you ever writ.
> > >> > >> > > > > >
> > >> > >> > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote in message
> > >> > >> > > > > > <4070FDBC.F9860F9F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > >> > >> > > > > >
> > >> > >> > > > > > > Many deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of
> > >> > >> > > > > > > DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not
> > >> > >> > > > > > > end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form
> > >> > >> > > > > > > causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO
> > >> > >> > > > > > > ingestion can include excessive sweating and
> > >> > >> > > > > > > urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea,
> > >> > >> > > > > > > vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those
> > >> > >> > > > > > > who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means
> > >> > >> > > > > > > certain death.
> > >> > >> > > > >
> > >> > >> > > > > Thank you! Were you drowning in laughter?
> > >> > >> > > >
> > >> > >> > > > I don't have the capacity for body electrolyte!
> > >> > >> > >
> > >> > >> > > I sing the body electric.
> > >> > >> >
> > >> > >> > What with? Victoria or Butter Cream?
> > >> > >>
> > >> > >> Bag Balm.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Musical aerial matching transformer: Balun sing act.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > (Technical one! Good. That'll rattle the miseries!)
> > >> >
> > >> > Bridge rectifier: Closing the gap between warring family members.
> > >>
> > >> Warring: Ring that promotes hostilities.
> > >
> > > Like what Dubbaya the Shrub wears?
> > >
> > > Ring Modulator: Makes it vibrate and hurt his finger.
> >
> > That's because his "side band" didn't make the scene.
> >
> Yeah. Their tour manager got them diverted and they all ended up in Row "D"
> of the nearest cinema!

Cinema: Movie Mom.

Drama: Play Mom.

 

250 days to February 6.

 

Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40E908AD.958E2AD8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4046C5FF.A8891D44@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4041E4F5.A6D75483@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > I don't look forward to swimming in a Liverpool.
> > > >
> > > > I'm quite symp-hepatic to that idea.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think that our nation is losing its Seoul in the fight against
> > > > > terrorism.
> > > >
> > > > IRAte that a rather pessimistic pun.
> > >
> > > Irate: Internet price.
> > >
> > Ireland: Nation of angry people.
>
> Berate: Price of angry bee.

Aerate: Price of a wig - and if it's a cheap one - it's a small price
toupee!

 

On Fri, 6 Jun 2008 07:08:39 -0500, Tim Bruening wrote
(in article <484928C7.C01EB3DC@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>):

>
> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40E908AD.958E2AD8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>>
>>
>> nemo wrote:
>>
>>> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>>> news:4046C5FF.A8891D44@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> nemo wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>>>>> news:4041E4F5.A6D75483@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>>>>>> I don't look forward to swimming in a Liverpool.
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm quite symp-hepatic to that idea.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I think that our nation is losing its Seoul in the fight against
>>>>>> terrorism.
>>>>>
>>>>> IRAte that a rather pessimistic pun.
>>>>
>>>> Irate: Internet price.
>>>>
>>> Ireland: Nation of angry people.
>>
>> Berate: Price of angry bee.
>
> Aerate: Price of a wig - and if it's a cheap one - it's a small price
> toupee!

But will a cheap one be rug-gard enough

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BDD2B3.AE9E547C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Adverse: A hostile song.
> >
> > Adversity: A hostile city.
> >
> > Converse: Singing criminal(s).
> >
> > Reverse: To sing again.
> >
> > Attract: What a train runs on.
> >
> > Contract: Criminal railroad.
> >
> > Retract: To go on the train again.
> >
> > Subtract: What subway trains run on.
> >
> > Subtract: A train underwater.
>
> Trample: Kid on roller-skates hanging on to the back of a railed public
> transport vehicle.

Transport: To play n many sports.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43672E89.ADDF7E55@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Stan Kegel wrote:
> >
> > > ADULT PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 10-21-04
> > >
> > > PUNS FOR ADULTS ONLY
> >
> > > If Dracula hired a lady of the evening, could she be considered
"Down
> for
> > > the count"? (Brad Williams)
> >
> > An also a neck romancer?
> >
> > Romancer: Knight in love.
>
> . . . and also a head romancer, and arm romancer, a torso
romancer, a
> leg romancer, and another romancer - who wasn't too fussy!

Versatile: Very flexible floor covering.

 

340 days since 07/07/07.

 

120 days since Lincoln's birthday.

 

130 days since 02/04/08.

 

90 days since Maundy Thursday.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:484F7D81.4CCA4244@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:43672E89.ADDF7E55@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > ADULT PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 10-21-04
> > > > >
> > > > > PUNS FOR ADULTS ONLY
> > > >
> > > > > If Dracula hired a lady of the evening, could she be considered
> > "Down
> > > for
> > > > > the count"? (Brad Williams)
> > > >
> > > > An also a neck romancer?
> > > >
> > > > Romancer: Knight in love.
> > >
> > > . . . and also a head romancer, and arm romancer, a torso
> > romancer, a
> > > leg romancer, and another romancer - who wasn't too fussy!
> >
> > Versatile: Very flexible floor covering.
>
> My new neighbour upstairs is installing some of that. Our estate newsletter
> reminded tenants, elevenants and all the other ants that if they have hard
> timber or laminate flooring and there are any complaints, they have to lay
> carpets to reduce the noise.
>
> I've never complained so he must have read it wrong - and he's
> unnessiecelery ripped out the laminate flooring and bought carpets anyway.
> Twit!
>
> Still - it will make things a bit quieter - things like his wife and kids
> with hard shoes on!

Lami Nate: Man in charge of waxing.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:485FECFF.29705CD9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
>> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> news:484F7D81.4CCA4244@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> >
>> >
>> > nemo wrote:
>> >
>> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> > > news:43672E89.ADDF7E55@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
>> > > >
>> > > > > ADULT PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 10-21-04
>> > > > >
>> > > > > PUNS FOR ADULTS ONLY
>> > > >
>> > > > > If Dracula hired a lady of the evening, could she be considered
>> > "Down
>> > > for
>> > > > > the count"? (Brad Williams)
>> > > >
>> > > > An also a neck romancer?
>> > > >
>> > > > Romancer: Knight in love.
>> > >
>> > > . . . and also a head romancer, and arm romancer, a torso
>> > romancer, a
>> > > leg romancer, and another romancer - who wasn't too fussy!
>> >
>> > Versatile: Very flexible floor covering.
>>
>> My new neighbour upstairs is installing some of that. Our estate
>> newsletter
>> reminded tenants, elevenants and all the other ants that if they have
>> hard
>> timber or laminate flooring and there are any complaints, they have to
>> lay
>> carpets to reduce the noise.
>>
>> I've never complained so he must have read it wrong - and he's
>> unnessiecelery ripped out the laminate flooring and bought carpets
>> anyway.
>> Twit!
>>
>> Still - it will make things a bit quieter - things like his wife and kids
>> with hard shoes on!
>
> Lami Nate: Man in charge of waxing.
>
Bikini waxing?

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:449D2697.6A306A9A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:419EFF83.EA54EB1D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:41265CE7.4140E97A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > In article <3FB4193B.977C1CCE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > > > > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the
> > > world
> > > > > oddly when:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >Eden: A home on the Internet.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Purgetory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your
> > > hardrive..
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Helmet: Hat of the Devil
> > > > >
> > > > > Lucifer: Secret code you have to punch in to get the lavatory door
> to
> > > open.
> > > >
> > > > Aquifer: Watery hair.
> > > >
> > > > Cipher: Coded hair.
> > > >
> > > > Conifer: Hairy tree.
> > >
> > > Cipher on a conifer: Bark Code!
> >
> > Safer: Hair on a vault.
> >
> > Tougher: Hardened hair.
>
> Furrous metal: A robot's hair!

Fer Rick: An iron man.

 

"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:

> "drmachler" <drmachler@tampabay.rr.com> wrote
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:423ADE19.6C7BBF85@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Lasting: The final bell.
> > >
> > > Pending: Writing bell.
> > >
> > > Vending: Bells for sale.
> > >
> > > Zipping: Musical pants.
> > >
> > > Shamrock: Fake rock music
> >
> > Shampoo: Fake poo.
> >
> > Champagne: Pyschosomatic illness
> >
> >
> Shambled: Fake injury.
>
> Shambles: Benefiction.
>
> Shammash: Instant potatoes.
>
> Shamming: Fake merciless king of Mungo.
>
> Shamuses: Bogus applications.

Shamble: Fake male bovine.

Shamming: Fake Chinese vase.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4860FA69.65C4768@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
>> "drmachler" <drmachler@tampabay.rr.com> wrote
>> >
>> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> > news:423ADE19.6C7BBF85@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> > > Lasting: The final bell.
>> > >
>> > > Pending: Writing bell.
>> > >
>> > > Vending: Bells for sale.
>> > >
>> > > Zipping: Musical pants.
>> > >
>> > > Shamrock: Fake rock music
>> >
>> > Shampoo: Fake poo.
>> >
>> > Champagne: Pyschosomatic illness
>> >
>> >
>> Shambled: Fake injury.
>>
>> Shambles: Benefiction.
>>
>> Shammash: Instant potatoes.
>>
>> Shamming: Fake merciless king of Mungo.
>>
>> Shamuses: Bogus applications.
>
> Shamble: Fake male bovine.
>
> Shamming: Fake Chinese vase.

-woof-

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4860FA04.B7889BA2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
>> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> news:449D2697.6A306A9A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> >
>> > nemo wrote:
>> >
>> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> > > news:419EFF83.EA54EB1D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > nemo wrote:
>> > > >
>> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> > > > > news:41265CE7.4140E97A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
>> > > > > > >
>> > > > > > > > In article <3FB4193B.977C1CCE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
>> > > > > > > > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at
>> > > > > > > > the
>> > > world
>> > > > > oddly when:
>> > > > > > > > >
>> > > > > > > > >Eden: A home on the Internet.
>> > > > > > > > >
>> > > > > > > > Purgetory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your
>> > > hardrive..
>> > > > > > >
>> > > > > > > Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > Helmet: Hat of the Devil
>> > > > >
>> > > > > Lucifer: Secret code you have to punch in to get the lavatory
>> > > > > door
>> to
>> > > open.
>> > > >
>> > > > Aquifer: Watery hair.
>> > > >
>> > > > Cipher: Coded hair.
>> > > >
>> > > > Conifer: Hairy tree.
>> > >
>> > > Cipher on a conifer: Bark Code!
>> >
>> > Safer: Hair on a vault.
>> >
>> > Tougher: Hardened hair.
>>
>> Furrous metal: A robot's hair!
>
> Fer Rick: An iron man.

-woof-

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4041F531.26DFA8C9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Chris Trask wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:403DB356.F06C8DFF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Chris Trask wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:403C6EC3.61F25BB3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > I yam salivating at the prospect of a-maizingly tasty food puns.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Lettuce milk this topic for all it's worth, and egg each other on.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Have any of you ever visited the Apple-Lacien Mountains?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I feel grape about this topic.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > You are a grape human bean.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Orange you glad you are here?
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > With Tim doing the only follow-ups, perhaps we should squash
> this
> > > thread
> > > > > as I don't relish the thought of him being gourd by a cereal killer.
> > > >
> > > > Are you in a jam?
> > > >
> > >
> > > No, just a smucker for a strayed lime.
> >
> > It may take me awhile to ketchup.
> >
> Saucy!

Ocean of sauce!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:486F1D42.DA5ED518@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4041F531.26DFA8C9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Chris Trask wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:403DB356.F06C8DFF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chris Trask wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:403C6EC3.61F25BB3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > I yam salivating at the prospect of a-maizingly tasty food
puns.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Lettuce milk this topic for all it's worth, and egg each other
on.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Have any of you ever visited the Apple-Lacien Mountains?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I feel grape about this topic.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > You are a grape human bean.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Orange you glad you are here?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > With Tim doing the only follow-ups, perhaps we should squash
> > this
> > > > thread
> > > > > > as I don't relish the thought of him being gourd by a cereal
killer.
> > > > >
> > > > > Are you in a jam?
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > No, just a smucker for a strayed lime.
> > >
> > > It may take me awhile to ketchup.
> > >
> > Saucy!
>
> Ocean of sauce!

Ice up hose (brrr!) a ketch would sail *up* and down that!

 

210 days since Human Rights Day.