15 December Puns

50 days since August 21.

 

70 days to December 19.

 

15 days to October 25.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:426F450F.8D2F85A0@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4195BBBD.6610B6D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Mos wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Greg Evans wrote:
> > > > > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >>>>> Alan and Bill Colmers will probably be very upset that
you so
> > > > > >>>>> rudely overlooked them.
> > > > > >>>> But that isn't what you have them listed in your address
book
> as.
> > > > > >>>> I'll refrain from repeating those epithets in public. <g>

> > > > > >>> If that were true, yours would begin with A.
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> He's got me under "F" for Fantastic.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Almost right. That 'F' stands for 'Fantasy World, Living In
A'.
> > > > >
> > > > > 'Fantasy World, Living In CA' would be redundant.
> > > >
> > > > F for Fisaco?
> > > >
> > > > F for Fubar?
> > > >
> > > > F for France?
> > >
> > > F for vescent! Champaign!!!!
> >
> > F for Frisbee, a round apine.
>
> F Femminate: A poofter using bad language.

F Fort: After E Fort.

Comfort: Computer military base.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:426F449E.40DE8EE4@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42128B67.5736C26A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > pontius wrote:--
> > > >
> > > > > Bring me the head of Michael Foot.
> > > >
> > > > Bring me the foot of Michael Head.
> > >
> > > During a MacArbre soccer game:
> > >
> > > Head me the foot of Michael Bring.
> >
> > Soccer: Dog with a good kick.
>
> White Curpuscle: Microscopic albino dog.
>
> Al Beano: Arabic newspaper featuring kids' comics and works outings to
the
> seaside.

Beano: No apines!

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:406F70E3.E845E53C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Happy Palm Sunday eve.
> >
>
> Eve was long gone by the time Yossel came along!
>
> Here's a nice idea for Easter . . .
>
> How about a Psalm Punday??

Easter: Electronic jail.

Easter: Electronic mixing bowl.

Lefty: Communist beverage.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EFE3CF.7D8139F1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:426F450F.8D2F85A0@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4195BBBD.6610B6D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Mos wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Greg Evans wrote:
> > > > > > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >>>>> Alan and Bill Colmers will probably be very upset that
> you so
> > > > > > >>>>> rudely overlooked them.
> > > > > > >>>> But that isn't what you have them listed in your address
> book
> > as.
> > > > > > >>>> I'll refrain from repeating those epithets in public. <g>
>
> > > > > > >>> If that were true, yours would begin with A.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> He's got me under "F" for Fantastic.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Almost right. That 'F' stands for 'Fantasy World, Living In
> A'.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 'Fantasy World, Living In CA' would be redundant.
> > > > >
> > > > > F for Fisaco?
> > > > >
> > > > > F for Fubar?
> > > > >
> > > > > F for France?
> > > >
> > > > F for vescent! Champaign!!!!
> > >
> > > F for Frisbee, a round apine.
> >
> > F Femminate: A poofter using bad language.
>
> F Fort: After E Fort.
>
> Comfort: Computer military base.

Military base: A colonel's arse! Sorry. Ayuss!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EFE3D4.F98A7701@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:426F449E.40DE8EE4@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:42128B67.5736C26A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > pontius wrote:--
> > > > >
> > > > > > Bring me the head of Michael Foot.
> > > > >
> > > > > Bring me the foot of Michael Head.
> > > >
> > > > During a MacArbre soccer game:
> > > >
> > > > Head me the foot of Michael Bring.
> > >
> > > Soccer: Dog with a good kick.
> >
> > White Curpuscle: Microscopic albino dog.
> >
> > Al Beano: Arabic newspaper featuring kids' comics and works outings to
> the
> > seaside.

That'd Beano good at all over here. No-one speaks Arabic.

> Beano: No apines!

Beanarrner: A long yellow stupid apine.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48F0339E.B1A8342E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:406F70E3.E845E53C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Happy Palm Sunday eve.
> > >
> >
> > Eve was long gone by the time Yossel came along!
> >
> > Here's a nice idea for Easter . . .
> >
> > How about a Psalm Punday??
>
> Easter: Electronic jail.
>
> Easter: Electronic mixing bowl.
>
> Lefty: Communist beverage.

Vodka would have been better.

Slithervitz: Slimy East European spirit made from plums.

 

30 days since 9/11.

 

30 days to November 10.

 

270 days to July 8.

 

225 days since Leap Day on February 29.

 

190 days to Divine Mercy Sunday on April 19.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44715DDB.ADEB6361@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4458494B.6F243C38@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Purple As (Purple haze).
> > > >
> > > > Yellow Bs.
> > > >
> > > > Deep Blue C, Black C, Green C, Red C (Parted by Moses so that he and
> his
> > > > people could escape the Pharaoh), and Tan C.
> > > >
> > > > Blond D (A stupid female demon), Gold D (A rich demon), Red D (A demon
> > > > that's prepared), Rud D, and Tan D (A demon in the sun).
> > > >
> > > > Black E, Blond E, Blue E, Bronze E, Brown E, Copper E, Gold E, Green
> E,
> > > > Orange E, Pink E, Red E, Rud E, Silver E, Tan E, and Yellow E.
> > > >
> > > > Orange G.
> > > >
> > > > Black I, Blue I, Brown I, Red I, and cats with Green Is and Yellow Is.
> > > >
> > > > I love Blue Js.
> > > >
> > > > Black IPs, Green Ps, Yellow P.
> > > >
> > > > Green T and White T.
> > > >
> > > > Bronze Z (A zombie in the sun).
> > > >
> > >
> > > Drunken letter: Boo C.
> > >
> > > Drunken musical instrumant makers: Boo C and Hawkes.
> >
> > Another drunken letter: D.UI.
> >
> DUI Teisenhower?
>
> (Why couldnee say blacksmith like everybody else?)

What does DUI have to do with people who work with iron?

 

Curby: 2nd dog in the dogabet.

Groundhog: One who is greedy for land.

Handsomer: Pretty male ocean.

Lamer: To have sex with an ocean.

Lamer: A crippled ocean.

Shimmer: Ocean that sparkles with light.

Trisects: 3 religions.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F9DC7D9.B73D6B8E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subcontract: Criminal underwater train.
> >
> Substitute: Underwater Ho/Tom.
>
> Subtonic: Underwater medicine.

Subso Nick: Underwater basketball player.

 

Mos wrote:

> "CheechWizard" <located@a.titty.bar> wrote in message
> news:JhP2f.13044$QE1.6598@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net
> >>> Vitamin B: Bee who's sting heals all ills.
> >>>
> >>> Vitamin C: Ocean of Healing Elixir.
> >>>
> >>> Vitamin D: Demon that makes one healthy.
> >>>
> >>> Vitamin E: Internet vitamin.
> >>
> >> Sounds like you're not getting enough lead and
> > mercury in your diet.
> >
> > ...nor rat poison...cyanide enema??...ita cure what
> > ailz yer ass (no 'pun' intended)...
> >
> > peace...damn...i sure am glad i'm a ganster...
>
> I need to acquire a few ounces of nicotine sulfate.

Sul Fate: Substance of destiny?

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:407C581E.F739D556@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:407A3F98.E22A27C9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Vulnerable: Easily defeated bull.
> > > >
> > > > Trouble: Another mean bull.
> > > >
> > > > Kabul: Afghan Bull.
> > > >
> > > > Frantic: Excitable tic.
> > > >
> > > > Romantic: A tic in love.
> > > >
> > > > Rustic: Oxygenated iron tic.
> > > >
> > > > Attic: A high tic.
> > >
> > > Boydem attic puns will keep comin back!
> > >
> > > Romantic: Flea on a Centurian.
> >
> > Erratic: Parasite on a rodent ear.
> >
> Erotic: Parasite caused to decompose by a downloaded virus.

I thought that Eroting would be an aphrodisiac tic.

Eroding: Bell on the Information Superhighway.

Arming: Our vase.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C106.17EBF416@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Blues Buoy <ashishgandre@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > > news:13697ebc.0407052121.6c436a41@posting.google.com...
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:<40E9104B.F4F18F98@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > Bob Crowley wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:<40DEC5AA.DA71EA39@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > bicycle - use twice only
> > > > > >
> > > > > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > > > > >
> > > > > > binary - 2 canaries
> > > > > >
> > > > > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> > > > >
> > > > > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> > > >
> > > > Antimony - Frugalist
> > > >
> > > Beryllium: Interring a guy called Liam.
> > >
> > > Barium: Interring anybody's body!
> > >
> > > Potassium: Favored by stoned donkeys.
> > >
> > > Aluminium: Tasty curried potatoes prepared by Minerva.
> >
> > Helium: Gas that cures.
> >
> > Curium: A transuranic element that cures.
>
> C?sium: Element that grabs hold of yer!
>
> So many elements to choose from, my Cuprum-eth over!

Hydrogen: Gas that gives out greetings.