15 December Puns

herculles wrote:

> Wasn't Fascination what Italy was under Mussolini in the Second World
War?
>
> bagelncreamcheese@hotmail.com (meat n potatoes) wrote in message
news:<1d7e07b1.0403190018.9101f20@posting.google.com>...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40580B73.3EFD8719@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > >
> > > Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> >
> > fascination.

Tarnation: Nation of asphalt.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45279D28.2B23BE71@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42C4F4C4.34B0FE61@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Chakolate wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > sam ende <sam@sende.co.uk> wrote in
> > > news:camfkb$vh6$4@warren.leverton.org:
> > > > >
> > > > > > tinted wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >>> It is also pretty light here at that time. Where do you live
> > Sammi?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > i live in the heart of britian
> > > > >
> > > > > Not in the stomach? From what I hear of British cooking, that's
> > > probably a
> > > > > good thing. If you're in the heart, who's in the colon?
> > > >
> > > > Who swims in the Liverpool?
> > >
> > > Merseymaids!
> >
> > Mesmerize: Ocean that sends you into a trance.
>
> Eff-fluence: Sewage pumped into the ocean that also sends you into a trance.
>
> http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/fluence?view=uk

F Fluence.

F Fete.

 

Jenni Saqua wrote:

> Did you see they brought back "America's Next Top Model"?
> They must be so confident we won't Tyra this show, they're taking it
to the
> Banks.

Will we Cindy?

Cindy: A female demon who violates the 10 Commandments.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45279D17.A3799753@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42BFC266.9D190B3D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:42BCEC0D.53509B79@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:41C67329.F92C2B8C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > FDR, Winston Churchill, Ralph Nader.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Marx, Lenin, Trotski, Arthur Scargill!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The new President of the Ukraine!
> > > > >
> > > > > He set fire to the place!
> > > > >
> > > > > Meet arson - Ukraine!
> > > > >
> > > > > (Yup. My first ever pun on here is still haunting the place!)
> > > >
> > > > Haunting: Ghostly bell.
> > > >
> > > Aha!
> > >
> > > King Gong: Bell monarch!!!!
> > >
> > > Owzat?? Boom boom! One in a row! Every one a Maserati!
> >
> > Fallun Gong: The bell is on the ground.
>
> Fallom Gong: Alarm that sounds on the spaceship every time the hermaphrodite
> creature tries to take control of the ship with he/she/its telekinetic
> lobes.
>
> It Seldon happens, but it's worth having an alarm for it when it does.

Have you been reading Asimov?

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41870106.19B6E338@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41822E72.BF1D3CEF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > In article <3F8B9EAF.D1CC3A7B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at
the
> world
> > > oddly when:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >Conversion: A variant of criminal.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse
tennis
> shoes..
> > > > >
> > > > > Micro: Not your crow.
> > > >
> > > > Decibel: One tenth of a bell.
> > >
> > > That's right, except it's Bel, hence the abbrevaition dB.
> > >
> > > It could be one tenth of the Babylonian god of the earth but
that'd be
> too
> > > silly!
> > >
> > > Oh, I don't know though.
> >
> > Acidosis: Sister of an acid female deer.
> >
> > Armada: Father of a fleet of battle ships.
>
> Sir Francis Drake to Phillip II: Armada than you, sunshine!!

Mumble: Silent female bovines with kids.

Sentence: 10 pennies in jail.

 

Mos wrote:

> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > On 3 Nov 2004 13:03:06 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>> Alan, where have you been hiding? You haven't posted much
> >>>>>>>>> lately.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Living the life that I do have outside Usenet. You should
look
> >>>>>>>> for one, too.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Don't mention your life outside of Usenet! Last time all the
> >>>>>>> rocking, howling and head-banging almost tipped the bus over!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Yeah. I still have a headache from it.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Be glad the bus was short. If it had been a long
> >>>>> bus, the bonk on the head would make the ache
> >>>>> last longer.
> >>>>
> >>>> Is that the long and the short of it? I mean about Larry?
> >>>
> >>> He should be along shortly to comment on the
> >>> size of things.
> >>
> >> You can size him up, and not report your findings.
> >
> > Wait a minute!!! Don't you go volunteering me, Milt!
>
> And why not ? Seems you often volunteer me
> for lots of things and I ain't in your army.

Arming: Our Chinese vase with weapons.

 

O J wrote:

> On Mon, 19 Apr, nemo wrote:
>
> >
> >O J <OJTB@pacbell.net> wrote in message
> >news:kan78018ghr9esvqehgh5kp7h60p1odbeb@4ax.com...
> >> On Mon, 19 Apr, Tim Bruening wrote:
> >>
> >> ---------------------<snip>----------------------
> >>
> >> Whats going on here? Do they only let you out once a weak?
> >
> >"What's going on here?": Question about dressing rooms.
> >
>
> What do they call them in Rightpondia, undressing rooms?

What do they call them in Middlepondia, Leftpondia, Uppondia,
Downpondia, Nearpondia, and Farpondia?

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E707E0.3A7342D5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Alien Nate: Man from another planet.
>
> Biologi Cal, Ecologi Cal, Zoologi Cal: Men who work to protect and study
> the environment.
>
> Com Mick, Come Dick: Funny men.
>
> Demon Nick, Demon Ted, Diaboli Cal, Satan Nick: Evil man.
>
> Econom Mick: Man interested in finances.

Dirty old sod: Man interested in thigh nancies!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E9496B.F850C7E9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:421A833C.89A86BDE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Michael Balarama wrote:
> > >
> > > > A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank
> > > > manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones,
> > > > who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
> > > >
> > > > The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will
> > > > be tried as soon as we catch him."
> > >
> > > Whose vault is that?
> >
> > A gang of criminals who only ever stole from the very best high-class
> > financial establishments and when finally caught were charged with bank
> > snobbery!
>
> VAT: Tax on containers.

East European prostitutes charge their customers VAT. Vear And Tear!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EB954A.9CE598EF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:45279D17.A3799753@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:42BFC266.9D190B3D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:42BCEC0D.53509B79@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > news:41C67329.F92C2B8C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > > FDR, Winston Churchill, Ralph Nader.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Marx, Lenin, Trotski, Arthur Scargill!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The new President of the Ukraine!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > He set fire to the place!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Meet arson - Ukraine!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > (Yup. My first ever pun on here is still haunting the place!)
> > > > >
> > > > > Haunting: Ghostly bell.
> > > > >
> > > > Aha!
> > > >
> > > > King Gong: Bell monarch!!!!
> > > >
> > > > Owzat?? Boom boom! One in a row! Every one a Maserati!
> > >
> > > Fallun Gong: The bell is on the ground.
> >
> > Fallom Gong: Alarm that sounds on the spaceship every time the
hermaphrodite
> > creature tries to take control of the ship with he/she/its telekinetic
> > lobes.
> >
> > It Seldon happens, but it's worth having an alarm for it when it does.
>
> Have you been reading Asimov?

Many many times! See previous reply. Him and Frank Herbert are brilliant!

I'm not averse to a bit of ancient sci-fi though. The Odyssey and the Illiad
are waiting there on my 'still to be read' shelf.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EB9590.7BF685@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41870106.19B6E338@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:41822E72.BF1D3CEF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > In article <3F8B9EAF.D1CC3A7B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > > > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at
> the
> > world
> > > > oddly when:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >Conversion: A variant of criminal.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse
> tennis
> > shoes..
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Micro: Not your crow.
> > > > >
> > > > > Decibel: One tenth of a bell.
> > > >
> > > > That's right, except it's Bel, hence the abbrevaition dB.
> > > >
> > > > It could be one tenth of the Babylonian god of the earth but
> that'd be
> > too
> > > > silly!
> > > >
> > > > Oh, I don't know though.
> > >
> > > Acidosis: Sister of an acid female deer.
> > >
> > > Armada: Father of a fleet of battle ships.
> >
> > Sir Francis Drake to Phillip II: Armada than you, sunshine!!
>
> Mumble: Silent female bovines with kids.

That'd be a physical impissiBilly-ty - unless the Billy had a ladder. The
proper meaning of kids is baby goats!


>
> Sentence: 10 pennies in jail.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EB9594.F0A398C3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Mos wrote:
>
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > On 3 Nov 2004 13:03:06 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > > <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> > >
> > >>>>>>>>> Alan, where have you been hiding? You haven't posted much
> > >>>>>>>>> lately.
> > >>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>> Living the life that I do have outside Usenet. You should
> look
> > >>>>>>>> for one, too.
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>> Don't mention your life outside of Usenet! Last time all the
> > >>>>>>> rocking, howling and head-banging almost tipped the bus over!
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>> Yeah. I still have a headache from it.
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> Be glad the bus was short. If it had been a long
> > >>>>> bus, the bonk on the head would make the ache
> > >>>>> last longer.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> Is that the long and the short of it? I mean about Larry?
> > >>>
> > >>> He should be along shortly to comment on the
> > >>> size of things.
> > >>
> > >> You can size him up, and not report your findings.
> > >
> > > Wait a minute!!! Don't you go volunteering me, Milt!
> >
> > And why not ? Seems you often volunteer me
> > for lots of things and I ain't in your army.
>
> Arming: Our Chinese vase with weapons.

Did it have an arsenal? It'd need one to attach its legs to its torso.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EB95AB.ACB27758@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> O J wrote:
>
> > On Mon, 19 Apr, nemo wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >O J <OJTB@pacbell.net> wrote in message
> > >news:kan78018ghr9esvqehgh5kp7h60p1odbeb@4ax.com...
> > >> On Mon, 19 Apr, Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >>
> > >> ---------------------<snip>----------------------
> > >>
> > >> Whats going on here? Do they only let you out once a weak?
> > >
> > >"What's going on here?": Question about dressing rooms.
> > >
> >
> > What do they call them in Rightpondia, undressing rooms?
>
> What do they call them in Middlepondia, Leftpondia, Uppondia,
> Downpondia, Nearpondia, and Farpondia?

Aha! A new disease. Pondialitis!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E94AA8.DAA98C4B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Defib: To make someone tell the truth.
>
> Defibrillator: Machine that makes someone tell the truth.
>
> Formalize: Official fibs.
>
> Legalize: Prevaricating lawyers.
>
> Hospitalize: HMO fibs.
>
> Industrialize: Lies in the business world.
>
> Hooker: Fishing or prostitute dog.
>
> Linker: Chain dog.
>
> Soaker: Wet dog.

Well don't stand soak close to it then!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E94AD5.F4D7E2A7@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4208796A.19EC97FC@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > BC: Apine ocean.
> > > > >
> > > > > BC: Ocean before Christ.
> > > > >
> > > > > TC: Result of the Boston Tea Party.
> > > > >
> > > > > WTC: Ocean of traders.
> > > > >
> > > > AD: Kate the very brave BBC war correspondent.
> > > >
> > > > BBC: Ocean full of small motor horns.
> > >
> > > CD: Ocean full of demons.
> > >
> > > DC: Ocean of politicians or demons.
> > >
> > BBC: Ocean of small copper pellets.
>
> AC: Electrical ocean.
>
> Declaim: Poetic demon.
>
> Declaimer: Ocean of demonic pottery.
>
> Decline: Demon whose status is falling.
>
> Decree: Demon edict.

"Kimosabe! Decree tribe is on de move again. We better scarper right quick
already!"

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E949C1.CD6CDE8D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Brandy: Demon that makes wine.
>
> Candy: Sweet demon.
>
> Deafer: Hair that can't hear.
>
> Debar: Demon lawyer, alcohol vendor, or prisoner.
>
> Debark: Demon canine.

Debark is just a lazy person's or nation's disembark! We'll all be down to
using words of two syllables maximum in a couple of decades - you watch!

Disembarque: To get off a small square-rigged sailing ship.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E94A04.A04B69EC@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42F81619.3586559D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Bunningham: Rabbit-fox crossbreed.
> > >
> > > Cunningham: Sly, clever, foxy actor.
> >
> > Cunningham Tandem: Intermediate telephone exchange which used to be
> > abbreviated to CUN/T. I kid you not!
>
> Tandem: John Kerry in the sun.

Can't a Democrat even sunbathe without being made fun of?? So much for
democracy and "The land of the free"!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48EB9498.AF000741@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Jenni Saqua wrote:
>
> > Did you see they brought back "America's Next Top Model"?
> > They must be so confident we won't Tyra this show, they're taking it
> to the
> > Banks.
>
> Will we Cindy?
>
> Cindy: A female demon who violates the 10 Commandments.

In Sith Iffrikkeh, they still phone up and say, "Will yehw Cindy bleggmin
arround wid de pizza please?"

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43B0FF83.16B1654E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4224260C.F050E5E9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Incrust: Below the Eath's surface.
> > > >
> > > > Infirm: Inside the company.
> > > >
> > > > Infirming: Sick vase.
> > > >
> > > > Nepotism: Ideology of related pots.
> > > >
> > > > Noising: Loud song.
> > >
> > > Oising: Yiddisher music.
> >
> > Causing: A singing crow.
> >
> Causeway: A road that is raised above water.
>
> Clauseway: A road that is raised above snow.

Santa Claws: Part of the Christmas cat.

 

Averting: Bell that avoids disaster.

Biting: Toothy bell.

Biting: Purchase a bell.

Bursting: Over full bell.

Busting: Mass transit bell.