15 December Puns

"Mike" <nospam@ microsoft.com> wrote in
news:OJYCk.1530$Jw.453@nwrddc02.gnilink.net:

> "Mick" <#$$#@%%%.^^^> wrote in message
> news:%NTCk.64302$PK.20975@newsfe04.iad...
>>
>> "Mike" <nospam@ microsoft.com> wrote in message
>> news:GSiCk.955$Jw.648@nwrddc02.gnilink.net...
>> | "Robert M. Gary" <N7093v@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> |
>> news:56aef12d-3dd6-4d1e-b063-d28fbab81171
@v13g2000pro.googlegroups.com
>> ...
>> | > On Sep 21, 9:09 am, TheTruth <no...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>> | >
>> | > > Midnight departure?
>> | > > Shades of LEX perhaps?
>> | > >
>> | > > Possibly just one tired over worked poorly trained
>> | > > inexperienced controller on duty while the high priced FAA
>> | > > managers chase whores
>> and
>> | > > wine and dine the neighbor's wife?
>> | > >
>> | > > Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>> | >
>> | > Based on what evidence? Given the current known facts my Big Foot
>> | > theory is at least as supported by facts as your theory.
>> |
>> | Au contraire. JJ supports his theories with lysergic acid
>> | diethylamide.
>> |
>>
>> Spoken like a true user.
>
> ...sez the fetal alcohol syndrome victim.
>
>


Yep


BTW, if you're going to redirect him, please do so to alt.usenet.kooks.
They love him there. And you'll make new and interesting friends with
names like Terydactyl cupcake semen.




Bertie

 

5 days since September 21.

 

25 days since September 5.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D0AE70.D665156F@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:450B6B2C.726F49B9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:44191E62.61A76A81@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > J. A. Mc. <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:cagfrvsjj17s3likg7vietk8lki29rp4ec@4ax.com...
> > > > > > > On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 15:26:46 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> > > > > > > <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating
> > > about:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 20:49:01 +1030
> > > > > > > >"Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > > > > > >> > After X-ray, the doctor asked me: "Has anyone ever told
you
> > > that
> > > > you
> > > > > > > >> > have a 13th set of ribs?"
> > > > > > > >> > "I haven't heard Adam thing." I said.
> > > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > >> I hope you gave the idiot the old Eve ho!!
> > > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > >I'm sure that Eden even think of it.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I'd raise cain, if I were able.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Thou shalt not steal!"
> > > > >
> > > > > Noah: To b-n the 1st letter.
> > > >
> > > > I thought Alef the 1st. letter to you.
> > >
> > > F Off: To banish the letter between E and G.
> > >
> > Banish: Someone from Banmark.
>
> Yuban: To ban the letter between T and V.

Until recently, between T and V, there was a large Cathode Ray Tube.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D0A0A1.F72E0759@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> "fredmiller@the.PC" wrote:
>
> > There is a pecking order in here, so your Raven is deferred.
>
> Peck King: King of sexy birds.

Rather a pizzling idea.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D0A0B1.5F79D8C6@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 14:01:11 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > >> On Thu, 20 Nov 2003 18:00:47 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > >> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> > >>
> > >>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > >>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> > >> Of course ... Anacapa for the cold air.
> > >
> > > Why, you planning on mountain both of us? Well I ashore you island on
> > >my feet no matter what happens! 1
> > >
> > No, just to forestall a head cold (cold head?). I prefer to mont
> > (blank)! 2
>
> Forestall: In favor of procrastination or horse housing.

Did the helicopter vet ever cure that horse where he needed a sick horse key
to get into the stable?

 

Claimer: Ocean of ceramics.

Claiming: Ceramic Chinese vase.

Clammer: Ocean of clams.

Clamming: Chinese vase of clams.

Drummer: Ocean of percussion instruments.

Drumming: Chinese vase of percussion instruments.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4191BC15.6614C46A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4189B8DA.ED53986E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
>
> I did write "Identity Cards" only some twit's snipped 'em.
> > > >
> > > > > On the news today - everyone will have one in ten years' time.

> > > > >
> > > > > Sabrina fans started whaling and gnashing their teeth and
throwing
> > > > > themselves off buildings and under buses because they
mis-heard.
> > > > >
> > > > > They thought they were going to be Hide-dem-titty Cards!!!
> > > >
> > > > Identity: Tea that makes you reveal your true name.
> > >
> > > Identity: A woman with tall teeth and large breasts.
> >
> > Anonymity: Tea that hides your name.
> >
> Anonymouse: Rodent that hides its name.
>
> Bigamouse: Rat.

Pirex: 3.1415926 Kings.

 

"Nathaniel Lind (New)" wrote:

> "Cybe R. Wizard" <cyber_wizard@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:20030903223417.387eefdd.cyber_wizard@mindspring.com...
> > I got a new mobile communications device with a tape dispenser built in.
> > Yes, it my new cellophone.
> >
> > Cybe R. Wizard
> > --
> > Unofficial "Wizard of Odds," A.H.P.
> > Original PORG "Water Wizard," R.P.
> > "Wize(ned) Wizard," A.P.F-P-Y.
> > Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L
> Is it scotch-made? how clear is the signal? does it have any magic features?

Does it throw up with Mo' bile?

 

"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:

> nemo wrote:
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:442F3F48.D9EEB15D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>>On Sat, 08 May 2004 03:36:25 +0100, Dougal <bigron@klanmeetings.co.uk>
> >>>wrote:
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>>>>>>I didn't want you to feel alone and abandoned.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>I'm not one of your cars Greg.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>Oh no no no, those cars aren't abandoned; they're *restin'*!
> >>>>>>>Greg
> >>>>>>>pinin' for the Fords
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>Gerald and Betty?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Model A and T.
> >>>>
> >>>>You can only get that in black.
> >>>
> >>>When asked what colors the Model T would be available in Henry Ford
> >>>said "The Customer Can Have Any Color He Wants So Long As It's Black".
> >>
> >>Afroamerican cars?
> >>
> >
> > What's a froam? Hyphen needed there I think. It had one when the word was
> > first coined!
> >
> > Darpht langwidjje, Enginche!
> >
> >
> How different things would be if Harold had defeated William...
> Isn't it time England got even and invaded Normandy?

Normandy: French demon.

Didn't England do just that on June 6, 1944?

 

180 days to March 29.

 

190 days to April 8.

 

270 days since January 4.

 

50 days since August 11.

 

70 days since July 22.

 

95 days since June 27.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E21E12.723B5875@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> "Nathaniel Lind (New)" wrote:
>
> > "Cybe R. Wizard" <cyber_wizard@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> > news:20030903223417.387eefdd.cyber_wizard@mindspring.com...
> > > I got a new mobile communications device with a tape dispenser built
in.
> > > Yes, it my new cellophone.
> > >
> > > Cybe R. Wizard
> > > --
> > > Unofficial "Wizard of Odds," A.H.P.
> > > Original PORG "Water Wizard," R.P.
> > > "Wize(ned) Wizard," A.P.F-P-Y.
> > > Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L
> > Is it scotch-made? how clear is the signal? does it have any magic
features?
>
> Does it throw up with Mo' bile?

In the UK, the name Cellphone or Cellophone never caught on. To most of the
hoi poloi over here, they're maaabaaaphaaarns, and to the piddle, sorry
middle classes, mehwbails!

And BTW - what ever happened to Carol Vodaphone??

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D42B28.824D8247@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:432F3CCB.B253409E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:406568C8.1C4D63F1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Can anyone drop me some good parachuting puns?
> > > > >
> > > > Old Para relates:
> > > >
> > > > "Yes, I parachuted down right into the middle of a chicked farm. I
was
> > up to
> > > > me neck in muck and pullets!
> > > >
> > > > Bloke named Fred Parts joins the Army. They straight away promote
him to
> > > > Corporal to avoid the obvious! (Think about it.)
> > > >
> > > > She was only a soldier's daughter,
> > > > But she knew what Reggie meant!
> > > >
> > > > Terrorist opens up with an Uzi machine gun
> > > > Soldier returns fire with a runny rifle!
> > > >
> > > > Anal retentive soldier eats large amounts of baked beans and drinks
> > several
> > > > litres of very strong cyder . .
> > > > Experts called in to deal with an unexploded bum!
> > > >
> > > > "This vintage rifle is filthy" - Dusty Springfield!
> > >
> > > Parachutes: Two guns.
> > >
> > > Parachutes: Two young plants.
> >
> > Parachutes: Two fumes?
>
> Parachutes: 2 escape slides.

Parakeets: Two pieces of Spanish flat-pack furniture.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D42CB9.62CFBF65@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Invincibull: Big mean bad-assed bull..
>
> Label: To have sex with a male cow.
>
> Label: A male cow who's not a priest or minister.
>
> Labor: Same as above for a wild pig.

Labour: Same as above only spelt right!

 

170 days since Tax Day on April 15.