15 December Puns

Robert Morpheal wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > D cup: What demons drink out of.
>
> I am in training to be a demon. I think they want me to move up from C
>
> to D, now. I have to be progressive as to the cups I drink out of.

E Cup: Cup on the Internet.

 

85 days to Immaculate Conception Day on December 8.

 

18 days to German Reunification Day on October 3.

 

Fer-Rick: Iron Irishman.

Gim-Mick: Tricky Irishman.

Hesi-Tate: Man who drags his heels.

Neuron-Nick: Brainy man.

Neutron-Nick: Neutral man.

Seis-Mick, Techton-Nick: Men who shake the world.

Volcan-Nick: Erupting man.

 

Dyna-Mick: Creative Irishman.

Elimi-Nate: Male assassin.

Histor-Rick: Irish expert in past events.

Infi-Trate: Man who sneaks into enemy territory.

Irri-Tate: Another man who gets upset.

 

nemo wrote:

> An English cook went up to Scotland to study Highland cooking and was soon
> found dead with a dirty great Claymore stuck up his arse!
>
> The Highland chief said, "Aye! He had it comin'. He kept on criticisin' ourr
> food! He just wouldn't stop makin' disporridging remarks!"

The Highlanders must not get off Scot free!

Claymore: More ceramics!

Ceramic: A sheep pottery knight.

Cera-Mick: Clay Irishman.

 

15 days to Fiscal Year 2009 on October 1.

 

18 days to Sputnik Day on October 4.

 

30 days to October 16.

 

30 days since August 17.

 

300 days to July 13.

 

90 days to my stepdad Ernie's 81st birthday on December 15.

 

95 days since Friday the 13th of June.

 

"fredmiller@the.PC" wrote:

> There is a pecking order in here, so your Raven is deferred.

Peck King: King of sexy birds.

 

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 14:01:11 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >> On Thu, 20 Nov 2003 18:00:47 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >> Of course ... Anacapa for the cold air.
> >
> > Why, you planning on mountain both of us? Well I ashore you island on
> >my feet no matter what happens! 1
> >
> No, just to forestall a head cold (cold head?). I prefer to mont
> (blank)! 2

Forestall: In favor of procrastination or horse housing.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:414A367F.F7F3A49B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4144392E.E13E550A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > James D. Davis (jimd@gate.net) wrote on 1995-03-28 19:44:05 PST:
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Dick Wentworth (dwent@tiac.net) wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > : A duck walks into a 7-11 and says, "Give me some chapstick and put
> it
> > > on my
> > > > > : bill!"
> > > > > : That cracks me up every time.
> > > > >
> > > > > I didn't know this was gonna turn into a web site. But if that's
> > > > > afoot...
> > > > >
> > > > > Q. What do you get with two ducks and a cow?
> > > > > A. Quackers and milk.
> > > > >
> > > > > Q. What do ducks eat for breakfast?
> > > > > A. Quacker Oats.
> > > > >
> > > > > Q. What do you call a duck who plays bridge?
> > > > > A. Donald Trump.
> > > > >
> > > > > Waddle the rest of you think up?
> > > >
> > > > Why was the duck con released?
> > > >
> > > > Because he got credit for good con-duck.
> > > >
> > > > What do you use to patch up an injured duck?
> > > >
> > > > Duck tape.
> > >
> > > What would you use to patch up the country of Greece if it were injured?
> > >
> > > Ellas toplast.
> >
> > Not Con Crete?
> >
> Allas not. Ellas is Greek for Greece, although why Greek for bank is Trapeze
> and the word 'Idiot' appears on their Road Fund Licenses, I've no eye deer.

You have blind deer?

 

Forbearance: 4 ursine/ant crossbreeds.

Modesto: A humble foot digit.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Douglas D. Anderson" <dda@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:8T3lf.14$XC4.13@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > YOU DO NOT REPLY TO SOMEONE'S POST AND SNIP THEIR CONTRIBUTION AND A
> FEW
> > > MORE YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO LIKE!
> > >
> > > YOU GO BACK UP THE BLASTED THREAD AND REPLY AT A POINT WHERE NO SNIPPING
> IS
> > > NECESSARY - AND IF THAT PARTICULAR MESSAGE HAS EXPIRED, YOU GO ON TO A
> TEXT
> > > ONLY SERVER AND REPLY FROM THERE!
> > >
> > > GOT IT?
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> > I like that all caps look... reminds me of a telegram or an old
> > teletype machine...
> >
> >
> > LONDON 5-DEC-05 11-50 GMT
> >
> > NEMO HAS KNICKERS IN A KNOT.
>
> Just getting a bit pissed off with it, that's all! - and it ain't always
> Newbies.

U Boat: A naval university.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450B6B2C.726F49B9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:44191E62.61A76A81@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > J. A. Mc. <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > > > news:cagfrvsjj17s3likg7vietk8lki29rp4ec@4ax.com...
> > > > > > On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 15:26:46 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> > > > > > <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating
> > about:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > >On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 20:49:01 +1030
> > > > > > >"Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > > > > >> > After X-ray, the doctor asked me: "Has anyone ever told you
> > that
> > > you
> > > > > > >> > have a 13th set of ribs?"
> > > > > > >> > "I haven't heard Adam thing." I said.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> I hope you gave the idiot the old Eve ho!!
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >I'm sure that Eden even think of it.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > I'd raise cain, if I were able.
> > > > >
> > > > > "Thou shalt not steal!"
> > > >
> > > > Noah: To b-n the 1st letter.
> > >
> > > I thought Alef the 1st. letter to you.
> >
> > F Off: To banish the letter between E and G.
> >
> Banish: Someone from Banmark.

Yuban: To ban the letter between T and V.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:450B8600.6DCB1E5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Michael Balarama <mbalar@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > > news:1080t0qh00jm2df@corp.supernews.com...
> > > >
> > > > "Marmoset" <marmoset@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > > news:Xns94CDBEEDB9145marmosetyahoocom@216.196.97.131...
> > > > > Did you hear how witches make sure their potions are correct?
> > > > >
> > > > > They use a spell checker
> > > >
> > > > in order to know how long to wait she uses her witch watch.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > Witch watch was that then? Edward Woodward would!
> > >
> > > And . . . it got hot and made her wrist wroast!
> > >
> > > Wrist watch for an whore's man: A Rowlox!
> >
> > Sandwich: Witch on the beach.
>
> Ham: Pig on the village green just down the road from Sandwich. (true!)

Suffo-Kate: Woman who smothers.