15 December Puns

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A67772.1BE88C3B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:48A513AE.42ADDC66@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Fri, 5 Nov 2004 20:42:48 -0000, "Raphael Kearns"
> > > > <raphael@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> found these unused words floating
about:
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > > >news:yPQid.35936$Bk6.13578@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > >> news:4189BB3B.3A410D4B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >>> Packed Audience: Lots of suitcases in the auditorium.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Auditorium: Place where Conservatives keep their Audinary cars.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>For those of us who cant Afford them
> > > > >
> > > > Haven't you Benz working?
> > >
> > > Working: King of labor.
> >
> > ARTHUR SCARGILL!!!!!!
> >
> > Well it should have been!
>
> Scar Gill: Fish ouch!
>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Scargill

 

What did the assume and was she correct?

 

280 days since Veterans Day on November 11.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A6774B.893E20F3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:48A512D9.89D8587@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:42296AEC.D19632F5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > > > news:<B5rWc.270897$a8.238664@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:4129AFC7.F6E073B5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Sheila Dundee wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Mon, 5 Jan 2004 17:22:24 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > > > > > > > > <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words
> > > floating
> > > > > about:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >> Kathy wrote:
> > > > > > > > >>> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > >>> news:si_Jb.309341$Y72.81374@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > > > > >>>> Sung by a couple of pimps who run a group of girls
> > > working at
> > > > > the
> > > > > > > > >>>> top the the Telecomm Tower:
> > > > > > > > >>>>
> > > > > > > > >>>> "High ho! High ho! It's off to work we go . . . . "
> > > > > > > > >>>>
> > > > > > > > >>> Feeling a little flushed, off they go to the johns.
> > > > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > > >> I was loose myself yesterday but I hope to pickup today.
> > > > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > > > It's about time Tundra some work out of you! <G>
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Icy they have new wipers!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Viper: Snakes used to clean wet windshields.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Viper: Snake price.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Saturn: Car with a ring.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Viper: Snake price???
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sod it! I've adder nough!
> > > > >
> > > > > Subtract: A political document (such as the Communist Manifesto)
> > > under
> > > > > water.
> > > > >
> > > > Manny Festo: A guy with a nasty skin condition.
> > > >
> > > > Manny Pesto: A guy with a nasty a pine kernel and herb sauce all
over
> > > him.
> > > >
> > > > Pine Kernel: A high-ranking Lumberjack.
> > >
> > > Manny: Knee of a male adult.
> >
> > Manny Moore: A Yiddisher cloning expert.
>
> What kind of meal is a Yid Dish or a Kurd Dish or a Swed Dish?
>
The Archie Tie Pole Yiddish dish and cure-all medicine combined has to be
chikn soup! Kurdish - I've no idea, and Sewd Dish? How about Smorgesbord!

(I'm not going to spell it with the accents. OE will probably explode!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smorgesbord

And when he's not feeling bord, Smorgesintersting!

A voca byoo Larry you gotta have! A voca byoo Larry!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A676D9.AC6883D6@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:48A3D4DC.A2A6124D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Giants 2: An ant who is a member of a terrorist organisation of
Islamic
> > > > extremists whose violent activities began in 1992, and were aimed at
> > > > overthrowing the secular Algerian regime and replacing it with an
> > Islamic
> > > > state! The swines! And be-khozzer that sort of thing we still got
all
> > this
> > > > trouble nowadays!
> > >
> > > A terrorist group called "Gi"?
> > >
> > > > Cormorant: A large voracious dark-colored long-necked ant with a
> > > > distensible pouch for holding fish.
> > >
> > > I saw cormorants in Florida last May.
> > >
> > > > Currant: Cross between an ant and a dog.
> > >
> > > Currant: Ant that delivers an electrical shock like an electric eel.
> > >
> > > > Concurrant: Cross between an ant and a dog with a big nose!
> > >
> > > Concurrant: Opposed to dog ants and electrical ants.
> >
> > Contrary!: The idiot scientist who decided that conventional current
must be
> > assumed to go in the opposite direction to the flow of electrons! About
the
> > most STOOOOOPID decision in the history of electronics!
> >
> > Conventional current: Keeps the nunnery's lights on.
>
> It sexually stimulates the nuns?
>
In the scents that is also powers their vibrators, yes!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A67194.2358008C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42589364.3D04075C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4257756C.6C4B57BD@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:4254DF8B.C933379A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > >
> > > > > > > > news:42535CC0.88461789@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> > > > message
> > > > > > > > > > news:4250F9E7.7F96176A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Seldom: Put a large hemisphere on sale.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Sending: Bell Senator or bell in the Senate.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Sensing: Singing Senator.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Seventy: Tea that multiplies you by 7.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Severing: Ring that cuts off your finger.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Ages ago, such sadistic things were manufactured. They
> > > > used
> > > > > > bi-metallic
> > > > > > > > > > strips to make them constrict when they warmed up to
body
> > > > > > temperature
> > > > > > > > and to
> > > > > > > > > > make small blades emerge around the inside. There were
> > > > necklaces
> > > > > > too!
> > > > > > > > (>!<)
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > When was this done?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > During manufacture.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > In which years was this done?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Moslty those with 365 days and a few with 366 days.
> > > > >
> > > > > What were the calendar numbers of those years?
> > > > >
> > > > The Arabic numerals which refer to them.
> > >
> > > Which Arabic numerals?
> > >
> > The ones appropriate and as used in European mathematics to represent
value
> > and quantity.
>
> What were the dates on which those severing rings were made?

They were the days upon which those severing rings were made expresed as
DD/MM/YY.

Daddy, Mummy and Yummy!

 

"Ken S. Tucker" <dynamics@vianet.on.ca> wrote in news:8a5f57eb-ef0c-44fa-
baa5-1815808dba8a@t1g2000pra.googlegroups.com:

> On Aug 19, 8:21 pm, Dudley Henriques <dhenriq...@rcn.com> wrote:
>> Ken S. Tucker wrote:
>> > On Aug 19, 8:05 pm, j...@specsol.spam.sux.com wrote:
>> >> Mxsmanic <mxsma...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> >>> j...@specsol.spam.sux.com writes:
>> >>>> You sure are fixated on "risk".
>> >>> Proper assessment of risk has kept me alive and safe for many years.
>> >> You sure are fixated on "safe".
>> >> Jim Pennino
>>
>> > Do you know how many people are electocuted
>> > by keyboards per year, and they have germs
>> > like flesh eating disease, so now I wear a condom
>> > while using the computer...can't be too careful...
>> > these days.
>> > Ken
>>
>> You mean you can reach the keyboard with it???? I'm duly
>> impressed!!!!!! ))
>
> Well when posting to this group I use a palm *pilot*,
> it's a RIM job with blackberries.
> Ken
>

HYou're a very sick little boi, kenny.


Bertie

 

90 days since Maritime Forces Day on May 22.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43668823.FF08FF30@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41822E90.CA4C74B5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Halloween Puns:
> > > >
> > > > SUB: Sports Utility Broom, flown by wealthy witches. I saw this pun
> in
> > > > a Mother Goose and Grimm 2 years ago.
> > > >
> > > > Pumpkin: Relative of a pump.
> > > >
> > > > Halloweenie: Hallowed out hot dog.
> > >
> > > Or what a very fat man can say without the aid of a mirror after he's
> lost a
> > > lot of weight!
> > > >
> > > > Booting: Ghost bell or ringing ghost.
> >
> > The werewolf baseball game was called on account of Moon.
>
> That's bluemoon ridiculous!

Boo-Z: Zombie ghost or drunken ghost.

 

"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:

> So then "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> said:
> >> So then Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> said:
> >> >On Sat, 29 May 2004 10:55:08 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >
> >> >>>>>>> Yo, rampage.
> >> >>>>>> Yo, back.
> >> >>>>> Yoplait.
> >> >>>> Yo, Gert!
> >> >>> Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
> >> >>If anybody makes that tired joke about being a
> >> >>pirate and buccaneers, I will marry into their family.
> >> >Arrgh. Have ye heard about the price o' corn lately? It's up to a...
> >> Aye, it's piracy on the high seeds!
> >
> >If they sold it at exorbitant prices in Bond Street just coz upper class
> >twits shop in there, it'd be Daylight Snobbery!
>
> If the prices get to exorbitant, those old biddies might use their
> purses as weapons and commit Hi-Pay Clobbery!

Exorbitant: A space ant returned to Earth.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41ECA4CF.AFB9987B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B97096.66D91D8E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Fragmit: A glove in pieces.
> > > >
> > > Fragment: Cement after a hammer-blow.
> > >
> > > Fragmentation Grenade: Designed to blow Indians to bits. (Noah Fence)
> > >
> > > Mills Bomb: What finally blew up a well-known Brit actor who did a huge
> > > number of excellent war films.
> >
> > Beamit: Buzzing glove, or a transporter glove.
>
> Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the word
> Beamit.
>
> Perhaps you meant:
> bemist (found in 5 dictionaries)
> barite (found in 20 dictionaries)
> batumi (found in 7 dictionaries)
> binate (found in 16 dictionaries)
> bitmap (found in 26 dictionaries)
> bimetal (found in 12 dictionaries)
> baited (found in 7 dictionaries)
> beattie (found in 5 dictionaries)
> betime (found in 4 dictionaries)
> baiter (found in 5 dictionaries)
>
> Barite: The vertical dimension of a nudist.
>
> Batumi: Sheep's abdomen.

Bemist: Apine fog.

Betime: Apine clock.

Be On Time: Apine ON a clock.

 

Greg Evans wrote:

> dougal wrote:
>
> >>> I'm not stealing it. It was a gift from Elisabeth. Even my pet
> >>> iguana likes it.
> >> More darn euphemisms.
> >
> > If it was an euphemism Larry would have said pet tadpole.
>
> No, no. The *truth* would be tadpole, but he would have *said* whale.

Whale Ling: Big Chinese cetacian.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48AD0FA1.34C94C30@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41ECA4CF.AFB9987B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:40B97096.66D91D8E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Fragmit: A glove in pieces.
> > > > >
> > > > Fragment: Cement after a hammer-blow.
> > > >
> > > > Fragmentation Grenade: Designed to blow Indians to bits. (Noah
Fence)
> > > >
> > > > Mills Bomb: What finally blew up a well-known Brit actor who did a
huge
> > > > number of excellent war films.
> > >
> > > Beamit: Buzzing glove, or a transporter glove.
> >
> > Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the word
> > Beamit.
> >
> > Perhaps you meant:
> > bemist (found in 5 dictionaries)
> > barite (found in 20 dictionaries)
> > batumi (found in 7 dictionaries)
> > binate (found in 16 dictionaries)
> > bitmap (found in 26 dictionaries)
> > bimetal (found in 12 dictionaries)
> > baited (found in 7 dictionaries)
> > beattie (found in 5 dictionaries)
> > betime (found in 4 dictionaries)
> > baiter (found in 5 dictionaries)
> >
> > Barite: The vertical dimension of a nudist.
> >
> > Batumi: Sheep's abdomen.
>
> Bemist: Apine fog.
>
> Betime: Apine clock.
>
> Be On Time: Apine ON a clock.

I was always late, me! - mainly because I hated where I had to go. There was
this terrible thing called work, you see!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48AD0E76.4B9BC976@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:43668823.FF08FF30@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:41822E90.CA4C74B5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Halloween Puns:
> > > > >
> > > > > SUB: Sports Utility Broom, flown by wealthy witches. I saw this
pun
> > in
> > > > > a Mother Goose and Grimm 2 years ago.
> > > > >
> > > > > Pumpkin: Relative of a pump.
> > > > >
> > > > > Halloweenie: Hallowed out hot dog.
> > > >
> > > > Or what a very fat man can say without the aid of a mirror after
he's
> > lost a
> > > > lot of weight!
> > > > >
> > > > > Booting: Ghost bell or ringing ghost.
> > >
> > > The werewolf baseball game was called on account of Moon.
> >
> > That's bluemoon ridiculous!
>
> Boo-Z: Zombie ghost or drunken ghost.

Boo-Z and Hawks: Drunken birds of prey that used to make musical
instruments.

 

20 days to Patriot Day on September 11.

 

250 days to May Day on May 1.

 

14,280 days since the first man on the Moon.

 

43 years and 11 months since 9/24/64.

 

Carbon: Pastry auto.

Carom: Car in the Italian capitol.

Carper: Price of autos.

Carpet: Domestic animal of an auto.

Carping: Bell of an auto.

 

230 days since the New Hampshire Primary on January 8.