What is happening to our girls?

I would have to dissagree with you being as I have been involved in the sex education program in our public schools here in America for many years. The classes are very informative and consentrate in giving accurate information including how to protect themselves from disease and unwanted pregnancies.

Sex rate for teens of developed Countries are actually very similar if you look at the data, where America is higher (higher problem, lower use) than some is contraception use. That lower contraception use is the only reason we have higher unwanted pregnancies and disease.


Teens not wanting to use protection cannot be blamed on religion as your trying to do, clearly they know what causes the spread of disease, and they know what causes pregnancy, if anything they are too relaxed about sex to bother to take precautions.


If they are so relaxed about sex they just do it without any concern at all in the world, they are clearly not uptight, they are instead immoral, and the result of that immoral behavoir is things like STD's and unwanted babies.

 

Right.. reproduction 101.. this is how a baby is born.. not this is how to protect yourself and have safe sex.. More like, don't have sex or all kinds of bad **** will happen to you.. Totally taboo. No openness whatsoever.



I was 16 when I started having sex, and don't feel I was too young in the slightest.. Never was a slut. Had sex constantly, but with the same girl..

 

Open discussion is best as far as I can see. Make something accessible and it loses its mystery (and in the process its magnetism). Sex ed over here covers the mechanics up to age 11 and then goes on to discuss all of the surrounding stuff.

It's the same with drugs...over here we teach kids...'Sure it'll make you feel good, but it might equally well kill you....and don't think just because you survived unscathed the first time you try it that it'll be the same the next time'.

What age are the grades over there? We use a different system here and I always get confused.

 

I can't say how it is now, that was almost 20 years ago, but in my area they still have some form in elementary school.

 

5th and 6th would be 10-11 and 11-12 year olds.. I remember going to the gym to play dodgeball at that age whilst the girls watched their special video on menstration and such.. My sex ed was whipping a ball at other boys heads..

 

I don't see anywhere that I SAID it was religion that was to blame, I only threw it in as a possibility. As I have little interest in organised religion it never even crossed my mind that some religions outlaw contraception. Athough now you mention it I believe the Catholic faith does just that. Is there a large Catholic presence in the USA?

Maybe it's the 'It won't happen to me' mentality that seems to infest the teens of developed countries that is mostly to blame....along with the knowledge that 'Nothing is ever truly their fault' and that 'they must have been led astray'

 

We do about the same here, we don't get into talking aobut things like oral sex or anything but a real effert is made to make sure that kids know the reality of sex, not just some hyped up version spread by kids or scare tactics by uptight old people.

I think all kids can have the superman mentality though, not just American kids. Everything i am reading shows that the only real difference between America and some other Countries with lower problems is contraception use.

Age 5 is about the start with 12 grades, making the kids end up at 17 or 19 when they go to college.

 

We got Cathoilics up the ass.. Matter of fact, my first girlfiend was one and came from a very catholic upbringing being the youngest of 10 kids.. She was quite the nympho minx and an alcoholic by age 17.. Hahahaha

She was crazy.. musta been the red hair fecky


She also pulled many a scheme and went to get on birth control to "regulate" her period.. yay me. I got plenty of sex ed after that.. several times a day in fact.


Got a bit worried when I figured out she was actually trying to have me get her pregnant in high school.. Yikes! She was something else.. all these years later after a hubby and 3 kids she still gives me the eyes when our paths cross.. Her best friend told me not long ago.. "Ya know, maggie still talks about you all the time". I was quite the lover apparently.. Hahaha

 

So where does that come from? How available are contraceptives to kids...and it has to be condoms or other barrier methods because the birth control pill won't save them from anything. Can a kid walk into a drugstore and buy contraceptives without embarrassment or question? Are they sold in the Grocery stores for people to purchase with their weekly food shop?

Where are the vending machines? Are they places that kids can buy them without embarrassment? Kids may be willing to have sex but they sure as heck get red faced if anyone thinks they are actually getting prepared for the act....and not being able to get prepared isn't going to stop them doing it.

 

Almost every State has free state run clinics that give free condoms away without asking many questions. Just about every department store and drug store sells all kinds of condoms and devote a full section, 4 to 8 feet wide, to these products. Many restrooms have vending machines and you can even buy them on the internet delivered in plain packages so nobody knows what your getting.

Many schools even give out free condoms to the highschool kids, there is no barrier of any kind to kids getting condoms if they truly want them.


So, it comes down to their attitude tword using protection, not availability, and to be honest, I am not sure why our kids have such bad attitudes, somehow they feel either bullet proof or maybe they are more self destructive here. I don't know about Europe but we have a serious problem with parents paying attention to their kids here, being a single parent is the norm, not the exception and a single mother does not have much time for giving their kids the attention they need.

 

Well, I guess you can't get much more accessible than that. What would be the reaction of the average parent who found condoms in their teen's room though? To be honest, I've bought them for both of my boys and just left them in their rooms since they were about 14.

 

Most parents could care less what they found in their kids rooms, assuming they even went in their rooms.

I did the same for my oldest son, I did not just leave them but I told him that if he felt that he was man enough to have sex, then he needed to be man enough to take responsibility for his actions and use protection. He is 18 now and is already on delayed entry to be a Marine.

So far no babies, I have always pushed a life of taking responsibility for your actions as well as religious based values and he is turning into a very strong man in both morals and self-respect.

 

Religious based values vary enormously from religion to religion though, I am assuming you mean the Bible's version? I may not be Christian, nor are my kids, but it doesn't mean that they aren't decent human beings with their own morals and values.

 

They don't vary that much, stealing, killing, raping, dishonesty, irresponsibility, etc, are all seen as bad things under almost every religion. My own beliefs run close to Christian "norms" but with certain exceptions but the main difference between religious based morals and non-religious based morals is religious based morals are not adjusted by popularity.


Take crime for example, stealing is always wrong under almost all religions but people without strong religious convictions steal all the time. Everyting from taking office supplies from work to juries giving insane awards in lawsuits is all stealing but they make up justifications for their actions to "feel" like what they have done is okay.


Today killing an innocent life is considered okay because popular trend makes it so, but in reality a world where a baby is not safe in it's mother's womb is a very sad world indeed. I don't want to get into the abortion debate in this thread but it is just another example of how society can change and allow things once thought unthinkable suddenly become acceptable and without some kind of solid ground, where will these flexable morals take us in a few more years?


Is 1.2 million abortions in America alone each year enough to tell us we have a problem? Is 1 in 4 teen girls having a STD enough to tell us we have a problem? How about the average pregnancy happening to women who are not married? How about the average child not having a father in the home? How about juvinile crime being higher every year?

When do we admit that things are not moving in a good direction?

 

I think we've all admitted it if we are totally honest with ourselves.

 

Not really, we don't truly admit there is a problem until we take actions to fix the problem. It is like having a messy kitchen, you don't fully accept the reality of the mess until your cleaning it. As long as your avoiding the cleaning, the mess is still theory and concept, not reality.

 

Ah, but what about those times that you simply don't have time to clean the mess right then? My kids may have trashed my house during the day, but when I get home from work and have 30 mins to do stuff before disappearing out of the door for whatever reason, I simply don't have the time to deal with the mess. I know the mess is there so it's certainly real, I feel pressured to clean it NOW, because it annoys me....BUT ...life doesn't allow me to do it NOW! It'll get done though, just as soon as I DO have the time.

Avoiding on purpose and not having the time right now seem to me to be different things.

 

Do we not still have the choice?

Your pressing issue to run off in 30 minutes is still an option, you can decide that the mess has a higher priority than leaving.


Putting off a needed chore will in most cases make the situation worse. You kids can add even more mess after you leave increasing the work needed to get the kitchen back into order and this is what is happening with society today.

While everyone is all talking about how their too busy to act, the mess is getting worse and worse and will be harder and harder to "clean" as time goes by.

And our girls are paying the price for our refusal to act.

 

When the pressing issue pays the mortgage it isn't so much of a choice.

 

I'm not really sure what we can do.. I don't think it's quite accurate to put this all on the girls. They arent having sex with themselves and getting STD's..


Like I've said many times, children are merely a reflection of the adults. Address the problem at the source if you want to change things. "Do as I say, not as I do" is the biggest joke there is..