At what age did you stop believing in Santa Claus? Or the tooth fairy? Or the Easter buuny? What age do you think is appropriate to stop believing in them? I think I learned when I was in forth grade but did not believe it until I was in fifth grade.
What? You never believed in any of them? Did Santa not come to you when you were little? Or if you lost a tooth did the tooth fairy ever come to you?
No, my parents never lied to me about things like that. I knew where my christmas presents actually came from, besides we didn't have a chimney!
I really dont think its a lie man(if you are male). I mean a parent who reads their child a bedtime story and uses differnt voices or monster sounds to accentuate the story is really lying to the child. On the other hand the, 'if you do that you'll go blind', statement was definitely a lie.
There's a difference between reading a bedtime story and perpetuating the belief in a child that a fat man in a red suit breaks into the house on christmas eve and leaves presents under the tree. I understand what you are saying, but children understand that a bedtime story is just that, a story.
Well if it brought harm to the child then I could see your point. Have you heard of any eight year old blowing his brains out because he discovered the truth about childish beliefs? And Santa Claus isnt breaking into one's house if he is welcome, now is he? Its called a childhood. It doesnt do any damage to imagine. And I dont really think kids think it is real. They just like the fun of it. As you say; they do know the difference between real life and dragons.
I know people who remember being very hurt and upset, even angry at their parents when they did find out the truth. I think the harm comes when parents bend over backwards to perpetuate the lie, as the child gets older, perhaps at an age when the child is more likely to percieve it as a breach of trust. As a parent of young children, I want to avoid this... I will let them enjoy the fantasy when they are very little, but when they reach an age at which they start to question things, I will let them come to their own conclusions.
You make that sound like a possible defense for future crimes a person may commit. And if their conclusion is that Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth fairy does exist? Then what? Very hurt, upset,even angry? You certainly must know people who had these feelings towards a parent or parents for other reasons. In the case of Santa; you mustve at least once in your adult life been asked what Santa brought you. Did you answer in the spirit of the question or explain that such a silly question was uncalled for since santa doesnt exist? If you siad, I got this or that, then arent you perpetuating the lie? As a side note; stay away from those people who felt very hurt and upset even angry towards their parents when they learned the truth. They must surely be unstable.
We're talking about 8 year old children here. I don't know what you think I am implying, that they might turn into homicidal maniacs? I'm just saying they felt betrayed and hurt. Frankly, I don't think it's that big a deal for the child, they got over it... I'm only looking at this from my persepective as a parent. I want to build a relationship of trust with my children - I don't want them to resent me for anything, even superficially, if I can avoid it. The less lying I need to do to them the better. Sometimes lies are necessary - if my wife asks me if an outfit makes her look fat (hypothetically speaking), would you criticise me for telling her it doesn't, even if it wasn't true? I guess I have to reiterate - I don't have a problem with the santa claus myth for very young children - to me it becomes a problem when they are old enough that they begin to see inconsistencies in the story and start to have doubts. At that point I would rather let them come to their own conclusions, and not try to exacerbate the lie by trying to convince them against their better judgment that santa is real. I know that this happens in some families, and I don't want to do it in mine. You agreed that children know the difference between real life and fantasy, don't you give adults the same credit? Surely it is universally understood among sound-minded adults that santa is fiction (at least I hope so), so it is immediately evident to anybody that when the question is asked it is tongue-in-cheek. Not to mention the fact that if I pointed out that santa wasn't real, people would think I was either a jerk or a bit slow. Do you think I would prefer to be technically correct, but thought of as an idiot, at the expense of telling a "lie" that is really just meant as a joke anyway? Think about that for a second, and give me SOME credit.
But you didnt address if the eight year old comes to the conclusion that Santa does exist, how would you handle that? I truly dont know any parent who continues to tell their child into the teens years that santa is real. You really do? Eight, nine, ten thats about right the right age to figure it out.
Well, I guess I didn't address it explicitly, I only said I would let them come to their own conclusions. I expect that what will happen, is my daughter or my son will ask me one day, "is there really a Santa Claus?" and if I get the impression that she (or he) is having doubts, I'll just say, "what do you think?" or "why do you ask? why do you think there isn't a santa claus?" I don't really have to answer the question directly, but instead I can guide them along their own line of reasoning. It's my intent to teach my children to think for themselves as soon as they are mentally ready to do that. Critical thinking is a valuable skill, not so easy to learn, and the santa myth is an excellent exercise in that. I don't know any parents who told their teenagers santa was real. Not sure where that came from? In any case, I agree... I think that many children start to question the existence of Santa well before the age of 8 anyway. When that happens, I'm not going to fight it, that's my point.
Well you said you'd let young children believe it these myths. Then you said an eight years old is the turning point. I am just saying eight, nine, ten is about the same. I cannot imagine kids 11 on up believing in such things anyway. So a kid at eight and a kid at 10 pretty much the same....... Well before eight, huh? Why bother allowing them to believe in the frst place? I'd say at one to three they may be too young to understand the Santa thing. And you say WELL before eight they start disbeliving, When? Four? Five? Six is not well before eight after all.
Do you have children? My two year old understands santa and christmas VERY well. And why bother allowing them to believe it in the first place? That's a very good question - I never believed in Santa at all, but I still loved christmas. The answer is that I'm not the only parent of my children, and my wife insists on it. Coupled with the fact that my father-in-law is a dead ringer for santa, and does christmas parties for kids. I didn't really have a choice. But I do tell my wife that when the time comes, I refuse to lie to my children.
