I am done with the equity argument. I did listen with an open mind. I have long believed a persons worth was measured by their character and has nothing to do with skin color. All this equity bologna has only served to reopen a wound that had been healing nicely prior to this latest pounding of the drums. But now it has gotten personal. For those that may not know, my adopted daughter is black and is almost twelve years old. Her skin tone is so lovely that it glistens in the sunlight and ever since she was old enough to notice, she has always bragged about how beautiful her skin was. And it is...... Two weeks ago, she began telling my wife and I that she was being bullied on the school bus by a group of girls. However she was not distraught about it at all. In fact, she was laughing it off really.... After several days of hearing this story, my wife called the school and was connected with the principal and they shared a very low keyed and friendly discussion. The principal investigated and found these girls were in fact taunting my girl about being black and were also teasing her about her mother being dead which she is........ So the principal took it upon herself to discipline the girls (a correct action) and then brought my girl in to give her guidance on racial equity....... My wife and I were not privy to this conversation, however what I know is that my girl who was a happy-go-lucky girl two days ago is now terrified and hurt because she is black and different. And it doesn't appear at this point that my words are having any impact at changing that in her heart. I am so damned fed up with this equity nonsense that I could scream. People are people. Stop pointing out the differences... NOW. You people that preach this poison have caused enough damage. End it now.
Thank you for sharing such a personal, but very important episode in your and your daughter's life. I hope everyone reads this and stops to reflect for a moment on their own lives. I know that I certainly did. Your daughter sounds like such a lovely young lady not only on the outside, but in her heart too. I trust that this is just a minor hiccup in her life and that whatever "equity" garbage the principal spoon-fed her will soon disappear and she will return to being the happy-go-lucky little girl you know. Kids can sometimes be the cruelest of all. They repeat, unfiltered, what they hear and see from their parents and peers. Sadly, racism is alive and well in this world. I suspect your daughter will experience more of it in her lifetime, but it sounds to me like she's prepared.
Thank you for your kind words..... She has been well adjusted to being black. The taunting she was receiving from her peers was water off a ducks back to her. It wasn't until the principal, a person that she respects and looks up to had told her that she should be hurt and offended that the problem arose...... As a kid I had a nose that would rival WC Fields.... Man, I was teased about that my entire childhood. It wasn't until I matured that my huge honker fit my face. I most imagine that if a teacher or principal had told me that my my huge nose made me different, I too would have been emotionally damaged.... And this is exactly what we are doing with this equity discussion that is so charged up right now. We are telling people to be hurt and pissed off with one another over their differences..... I have heard all the arguments in favor of this nonsense and they are wrong. The extent of the damage being wrought will take years to heal.
The only thing that confuses the hell out of me completely here is how you attribute any of this to equity? Is it just another case of the usual suspects or is there some actual connection from point A to point B here?
The entire premise of the racial equity discussion is telling people that because they are different, that they now have grounds to be hurt and angry for being different. Genuine equality has no place in today's racial equity argument and I experienced exactly this first hand at the expense of my girls sense of self pride. The racial equity argument that is so popular in today's culture is crushing an entire generations sense of self worth and it has to end.
I don't think equity was telling your daughter that she was different. It was pretty much other middle school kids in this case, white kids apparently. Not that any 12-year old has any concept of equity or anything other than their own self-involvement. All you are experiencing is the same thing every other parent experiences with their middle school girls. Their self-esteem plumets just being a girl in middle school. It happens to almost all of them and blaming equity is just the silliest thing I have ever heard of. How did you even come to that conclusion? Totally, totally bizarre. I think all you actually experienced was being the parent of a middle school girl no matter what you try to blame. You're only chasing fallacies by believing this nonsense when you should be teaching your girl a way to fight back. I told you long ago that she would face a tough road as a person of color. What those teenage girls are doing they learned from their parents and their parents learned it from their parents and so on. Generational racism is insidious and deeply rooted in people like you for instance. Your first inclination is to blame the people that are fighting for your little girl's future. I wonder where you learned that from? No I don't. Not entirely sure what you mean by, "The racial equity argument", but I imagine anything that anything that makes you feel uncomfortable is bad and therefore must be wrong. Put your "feelings" aside and think about it from your girl's point of view. This experience has nothing to do with racial equity arguments as you've asserted. I has far more to do with middle school kids being middle school kids and the pandemic has amped them up to the next level making it even worse for this generation of kids. My advice, put her in a martial arts class. Put her in a dance class. Put her in something that makes her feel good about herself and stop chasing imaginary ghosts just because you are indoctrinated to do so. Best advice you'll get on this forum. Take it or leave it. Research (2006) by Catherine Steiner-Adair, Ed.D., director of the Eating Disorders Education and Prevention at McClean Hospital, finds that girls’ self-confidence declines as they move from childhood into adolescence. Achievement motivation suffers as greater emphasis is placed on the way they look.
I do appreciate your response. I’m not here to battle. My wife and I have always been keenly aware of her sense of herself……. My problem is this. The kids on that bus didn’t hurt her feelings, thought they tried. I thought I had made that clear up front. Her sense of worth changed after she was counseled by her principal. And in all fairness, I was not in that meeting. But she came away from it disturbed about being black for the first time in her young life….. I am no fool. I know this is a raging river that she will have to navigate many times in her life. The meeting with her principal was focused on her being black. That much I know. Once my wife gets a grasp of her anger, she plans to meet with this principal to discuss just exactly what was said that has this lovely girl so sullen about being black….. Again, an issue that did not exist in her heart before being “helped” by the school’s principal.
I can tell you one thing I am sure of, a principal's opinions to a 12-year old means nothing compared to your 12-year old's peer group. This is an age where adults don't matter and the kid sitting in the next desk means more than you can possibly imagine. I would have a hard time believing that the principal said anything that your daughter actually heard one way or the other. The self-esteem of a middle school girl, be she black, white, tall, fat, short, or any other shape or size, is nothing but fodder for the meanest instincts of middle school kids. They are absolutely insane. That is why I felt so lucky to have only had boys and even they felt the social pressure from the other kids for the dumbest things. My oldest, who you know, would get asked why he smiled all the time. Smiling was a source of ridicule in middle school. It is just the age. Find some body-positive activities she can get involved in and forget about the principal and the other kids. Focus only on what she needs. Everything external is just noise.
One other suggestion, cross country is a great self-esteem builder because you only compete with yourself.
What makes it so "apparent" that they're "white kids", Racist Joe? There was nothing in Mopar's post that identified the kids regarding their race. They could have been Asian. Or Hispanic. Or Caucasian. Or Aboriginal. Or Native American. Or African. Or Pacific Islander. Or.....? You certainly pre-judge a lot. That's a sign of being racist, ya know? Stop being racist, Racist Joe.
I'm very sorry MD, Kids know other kids can be and will be mean . . . they are able to quickly adapt, except in cases where they are too coddled, and become dependent upon others to shield them, rather than developing their own defense mechanisms. The cruelty and backbiting is unfortunately a normal part of the effort to establish one's level of acceptance in society. Kids don't like it but, subconsciously they understand it, and generally cope with it acceptably well . . . although there are exceptions. For an adult to tell or even just imply that a student, a teen in this case, is somehow at a disadvantage is entirely different. By pointing out to a child that he / she is fat, short, has gap teeth, different skin color, is uncoordinated, stutters, etc, that more sage, seasoned, experienced person is tearing down what beliefs one is already forming about his / her self-worth, and impeding the development of those mechanism, whether intentionally or not. Like the mother who won't let her resilient 5 year old ride the two-wheeler without training wheels, the inevitable is merely delayed until the child is bigger and is later set up for the bigger fall. If that school principal even implied that your daughter is inherently at a disadvantage because of her skin color, he did her a disservice and a serious one.
Having said everything of any value already, I must move to address the knee-jerk reaction to blame everyone in authority rather than the parents of these nasty kids that caused the incident in the first place. What kind of parents raise children that behave/act in this manner? These kids weren't born with this behavior, they had to learn it somewhere along the way and given their young age, it probably came straight from mom and dad's mouths directly into these kids ears. Many middle school kids are simply hard on their classmates. That isn't unusual. But in this case, the taunting and teasing takes a racial overtone and that isn't just kids being kids. This is a little more specific than just mocking some kid for wearing the wrong shoes. It is the result of parents indoctrinating their own kids with racial stereotypes and bigotry in the home and then sending young Bobby and young Suzie out into the world armed with well implanted racism. Racism is learned in the home, PERIOD! Blaming the school, the principal, the bus driver, the school counselor just avoids pointing the finger at the obvious culprits and real problem, racist leaning parents. If you want proof, it is easy to obtain. Just go to these kids parents and tell them what their kids are doing on the bus. If I had to guess, you would more than likely find that these parents not only defend their kids behaviors, they get angry at you and your daughter for even daring to point out their kids behaviors. This is what parent used to do back in the day. They didn't call the principal or the bus driver or the school board, they took the issue to the other parents directly. It usually resolved the problem immediately because nobody wants other parents pointing out how horrible their own kids are. Now if the parents are the ones instilling the racism in these kids, you might be having a different conversation with these other parents. But at least you know where the kids are getting it from.
Clown, they are the spawn of YOUR Religion- The Ideology of Division, and now you want to play Helpful Harry the Socialist Advisor? My God, you are the typical BS Artist that manipulates EVERYTHING and Every subject.
Why don't you start every post with those words and just end there? Your posts would have a lot more sensibility to them if you would.
